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That robot took my sandwich
Pinned
My ancestors hail from distant swamps and bogs and came to this land to dampen the vibe
Bartender: the usual?
Me: make it a double
[Bartender slides me a double zzzquil with a little umbrella]
January 1, 2026 at 9:33 PM
Happy new year. The plan? Bringing Crazy Ralph energy to 2026
January 1, 2026 at 5:29 AM
In 2026 the new catchphrase will be "happier than a cat in a geodesic dome"
December 31, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Reposted by magich🎱dot org
It's not delivery, it's da prophecy...
July 31, 2023 at 10:23 PM
Asking the CEO what his favorite flavor of k-cup coffee is. He doesn't understand the concept so I, loudly, repeat my question until I'm a few millimeters away from his face and I whisper "Hazelnut, bitch"
December 31, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Reposted by magich🎱dot org
children of men (2006)
breaking: the first white boy to have swag has died
December 30, 2025 at 9:50 PM
how I made my first million? geodesic domes for cats
December 30, 2025 at 7:22 PM
my out of office message is an autoplaying Wilhelm scream
December 30, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Reposted by magich🎱dot org
Lout, Lout
Let it all out
This is what oaf therapy is all about
Come on
Your making progress
Come on
December 30, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Breaking news: a flock of Canadian geese just surrounded a bread truck and flew off with it. Driver shaken but unharmed.
December 30, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Earth
Counter-Earth
Deli Counter-Earth
December 30, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Hobbit pickup line: get with me and I'll cook you breakfast twice
December 30, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Banned from the American Ornithological Society because I keep sending letters asking to be re-classified as a turkey sandwich vulture.
December 30, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Reposted by magich🎱dot org
Cursed Charles entertainment cheese
December 29, 2025 at 9:41 PM
The Offspring - Self Esteem (Tuvan Throat Singers Cover)
December 29, 2025 at 4:26 PM
They're calling out Mr New Year New Me for his crimes and in 2026 he will face justice
December 29, 2025 at 2:55 PM
[A small mouse holding a "Room For Rent" sign politely knocks on my skull 3 times]
Me: welcome
December 29, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Reposted by magich🎱dot org
Feeding sun chips to crows to win their favor
August 8, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Ladies is your man only active at dawn and dusk? He might just be a crepuscular fuckboi
December 28, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Reposted by magich🎱dot org
December 28, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Reposted by magich🎱dot org
Shout out Christ, the first to ever Hunk It Dumb boy Style, born today
December 26, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Reposted by magich🎱dot org
235
December 26, 2025 at 12:32 AM
cat: mrow
me: we are not having this conversation right now
December 25, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Reposted by magich🎱dot org
tearing into a big bag of christmas chow
December 25, 2024 at 7:44 PM
Me: Merry Christmas
👽: Thank you but we have evolved beyond consumerism
Me: but you haven't evolved beyond probing?
👽: Nope
December 25, 2025 at 2:42 PM