Matlock Hot Dog
@chriscady.bsky.social
Artist in Residence at Cracker Barrel
Pinned
It gives me no pleasure to tell you that, had he been born many years later, John Lennon would have been an Invader Zim/Cookie Monster pajama girl.
Taking off my wedding ring before my haircut at Sports Clips
November 28, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Taking off my wedding ring before my haircut at Sports Clips
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
i've been collecting html in a big folder
November 10, 2025 at 6:18 PM
i've been collecting html in a big folder
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
Scientists have constructed 3D replicas of what the 5 Guys from 5 Guys Pizza probably looked like
November 5, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Scientists have constructed 3D replicas of what the 5 Guys from 5 Guys Pizza probably looked like
Competing Netflix and Hulu documentaries about the Louvre heist dropping next week.
October 22, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Competing Netflix and Hulu documentaries about the Louvre heist dropping next week.
Toilet paper at work starting to look like Mickey Mouse’s thin bean sandwich.
September 26, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Toilet paper at work starting to look like Mickey Mouse’s thin bean sandwich.
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
I just invented global warming for dogs. I’m tentatively calling it “dog global warming”
September 19, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I just invented global warming for dogs. I’m tentatively calling it “dog global warming”
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
One of my concubines just described herself as a ‘Shane Gillis republican’. How did she even learn about him, comedy is strictly forbidden in the harem
September 19, 2025 at 2:20 AM
One of my concubines just described herself as a ‘Shane Gillis republican’. How did she even learn about him, comedy is strictly forbidden in the harem
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
everybody squirts . the government is lying to you . and its not just piss either its like some other shit that we dont even know the scientific affects of
September 15, 2025 at 5:06 PM
everybody squirts . the government is lying to you . and its not just piss either its like some other shit that we dont even know the scientific affects of
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
it's so fucked up they just named him Goofy, what hope did he ever have
August 29, 2025 at 5:31 AM
it's so fucked up they just named him Goofy, what hope did he ever have
Would “Oppenheimer” still have won the Oscar if it ended with “Vertigo” from U2’s How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb as the end credits needle drop?
August 27, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Would “Oppenheimer” still have won the Oscar if it ended with “Vertigo” from U2’s How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb as the end credits needle drop?
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
Saw a guy walk up this spigot, hold his hand underneath, intentionally dispense hot water on his hand, say “ahhh fuck!” and walk off shaking his hand vigorously. I can’t stop thinking about this
August 21, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Saw a guy walk up this spigot, hold his hand underneath, intentionally dispense hot water on his hand, say “ahhh fuck!” and walk off shaking his hand vigorously. I can’t stop thinking about this
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
Sure here’s a femme Doom Garf from da past
August 17, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Sure here’s a femme Doom Garf from da past
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
I could never kill someone in cold blood. We have a no cold blood policy down at the killing factory I’m employed at. We’re very socially conscious like that
December 11, 2024 at 7:17 AM
I could never kill someone in cold blood. We have a no cold blood policy down at the killing factory I’m employed at. We’re very socially conscious like that
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
Yellow m&m is stupid? Peanut in his brain. Yellow m&m is constipated? Peanut in his bowels. The peanut is fucking his whole shit up
August 17, 2025 at 8:38 AM
Yellow m&m is stupid? Peanut in his brain. Yellow m&m is constipated? Peanut in his bowels. The peanut is fucking his whole shit up
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
There's a Dollar General in the background of every live news report.
August 6, 2025 at 10:35 AM
There's a Dollar General in the background of every live news report.
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
That flight path is tired. Sheep planes all doing the same thing. Wow you’re descending toward the airport I can’t believe it how’d you think of that
August 13, 2025 at 3:12 AM
That flight path is tired. Sheep planes all doing the same thing. Wow you’re descending toward the airport I can’t believe it how’d you think of that
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
My daughter’s tamagotchi just evolved into a man???
August 16, 2025 at 6:14 PM
My daughter’s tamagotchi just evolved into a man???
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
The Beatles jacking off one last time together after the rooftop concert and then going their separate ways like oceans 11
August 12, 2025 at 12:37 AM
The Beatles jacking off one last time together after the rooftop concert and then going their separate ways like oceans 11
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
real hustlers upwind after work. I play this game from 6 pm to 4 am then back to my real job. every single hair on my body is gray.
August 12, 2025 at 1:18 AM
real hustlers upwind after work. I play this game from 6 pm to 4 am then back to my real job. every single hair on my body is gray.
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
i heard they’re making a movie about what Gollum was ‘up to’ in between the movies. you know that little freak was beating his shit 24/7 come on now
August 12, 2025 at 12:25 AM
i heard they’re making a movie about what Gollum was ‘up to’ in between the movies. you know that little freak was beating his shit 24/7 come on now
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
yooo tubi's got the I'd Buy That For A Dollar show from Robocop
August 10, 2025 at 6:15 AM
yooo tubi's got the I'd Buy That For A Dollar show from Robocop
Reposted by Matlock Hot Dog
Pinocchios classic touching horse shit scene
August 10, 2025 at 7:46 AM
Pinocchios classic touching horse shit scene