Mr.Carter2
@carter23.bsky.social
Dark humor Extremely Sarcastic..Total sports nerd always respectful. Will bite before coffee
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaafngrhnzjvo
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaafngrhnzjvo
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
"Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen is my favorite song about all you can eat shrimp at Sizzler
June 6, 2024 at 3:51 AM
"Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen is my favorite song about all you can eat shrimp at Sizzler
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
Biblically speaking…
The pronouns were:
hebrews/shebrews/thembrews.
The pronouns were:
hebrews/shebrews/thembrews.
June 6, 2024 at 4:50 AM
Biblically speaking…
The pronouns were:
hebrews/shebrews/thembrews.
The pronouns were:
hebrews/shebrews/thembrews.
Only psychos eat their fries with a fork
June 6, 2024 at 5:00 AM
Only psychos eat their fries with a fork
Look if you ever see me in restaurant eating a salad...I've been kidnapped and this is my signal for help
June 6, 2024 at 4:59 AM
Look if you ever see me in restaurant eating a salad...I've been kidnapped and this is my signal for help
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
An assasin who's only weapon is blowing the cover off the straw really hard.
June 6, 2024 at 4:45 AM
An assasin who's only weapon is blowing the cover off the straw really hard.
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
me: *gets something in my eye*
brain: put your finger in there too
brain: put your finger in there too
June 5, 2024 at 11:46 AM
me: *gets something in my eye*
brain: put your finger in there too
brain: put your finger in there too
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
Me, sleepless at 3 am: Do I even have what New Kids on the Block called the Right Stuff?
June 5, 2024 at 8:21 PM
Me, sleepless at 3 am: Do I even have what New Kids on the Block called the Right Stuff?
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
If I had a time machine I’d grab a gun and go back and shoot anything trying to evolve from sea to land
June 5, 2024 at 12:28 PM
If I had a time machine I’d grab a gun and go back and shoot anything trying to evolve from sea to land
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
If you tell me you liked country music before Beyoncé imma look at you like a dirty hipster. Go back to Portland!
May 28, 2024 at 7:52 PM
If you tell me you liked country music before Beyoncé imma look at you like a dirty hipster. Go back to Portland!
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
every four to six weeks. (for work)
I have a punch card and this one's free lmao
I'm doing IPL at home, but it's Slow.
I have a punch card and this one's free lmao
I'm doing IPL at home, but it's Slow.
June 5, 2024 at 5:11 PM
every four to six weeks. (for work)
I have a punch card and this one's free lmao
I'm doing IPL at home, but it's Slow.
I have a punch card and this one's free lmao
I'm doing IPL at home, but it's Slow.
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
ice and wine, I'll be fine😎
June 5, 2024 at 5:12 PM
ice and wine, I'll be fine😎
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
As a dad I believe it’s my duty to embarrass my kids every chance I get, whether it’s with bad dad dancing at family weddings, telling funny stories about them to their friends, or pointing to them as public proof that someone has had the sex with me at least 3 times.
June 3, 2024 at 12:14 PM
As a dad I believe it’s my duty to embarrass my kids every chance I get, whether it’s with bad dad dancing at family weddings, telling funny stories about them to their friends, or pointing to them as public proof that someone has had the sex with me at least 3 times.
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
Yes I am ashamed of the smell
June 5, 2024 at 5:22 PM
Yes I am ashamed of the smell
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
Biden is apparently hardcore committed to consistently choosing the solution that pisses off both sides
June 4, 2024 at 9:02 PM
Biden is apparently hardcore committed to consistently choosing the solution that pisses off both sides
I never count favors...just make sure you got me like I got you
June 5, 2024 at 4:56 PM
I never count favors...just make sure you got me like I got you
if Netflix has one more price hike I'm dusting off the DVD player
June 5, 2024 at 4:56 PM
if Netflix has one more price hike I'm dusting off the DVD player
Look nobody wants to hear about your diet.... just shut up eat your rice cakes, and be sad
June 5, 2024 at 4:56 PM
Look nobody wants to hear about your diet.... just shut up eat your rice cakes, and be sad
Co-worker: Why are you crying are you sad??
Me: I'm crying cause I want to punch you in the face but can't
Me: I'm crying cause I want to punch you in the face but can't
June 5, 2024 at 4:56 PM
Co-worker: Why are you crying are you sad??
Me: I'm crying cause I want to punch you in the face but can't
Me: I'm crying cause I want to punch you in the face but can't
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
Feeling pretty sexy
(discarding my healthy snack for a can of ravioli at 4 p.m.)
(discarding my healthy snack for a can of ravioli at 4 p.m.)
June 4, 2024 at 7:58 PM
Feeling pretty sexy
(discarding my healthy snack for a can of ravioli at 4 p.m.)
(discarding my healthy snack for a can of ravioli at 4 p.m.)
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
Look, if I say that's not a good place to lay an egg, just trust I'm looking out for you
June 5, 2024 at 1:43 PM
Look, if I say that's not a good place to lay an egg, just trust I'm looking out for you
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
I'm no expert, but I think eating cold chicken over the kitchen sink at four in the morning is a pretty healthy coping mechanism
June 3, 2024 at 7:49 AM
I'm no expert, but I think eating cold chicken over the kitchen sink at four in the morning is a pretty healthy coping mechanism
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
No please mister motorcycle guy turn up that wonderful country music so we can all enjoy it here waiting at the red light
June 5, 2024 at 3:37 PM
No please mister motorcycle guy turn up that wonderful country music so we can all enjoy it here waiting at the red light
Reposted by Mr.Carter2
