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beefcarcass.bsky.social
slice
@beefcarcass.bsky.social
Writer of stuff.

Website: beefcarcass.com

Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaatdk2bj2ce

Tips appreciated: https://ko-fi.com/noahwesley

avi by geraldinepiche.bsky.social
The guy I pay to throw warm spaghetti at my ass just quit, saying he finds the work demeaning. Okay, but after fifteen years?
November 18, 2025 at 1:10 AM
A really cool prank would be to hand envelopes to random strangers while saying, “You’ve just been served, Marty.” Eventually one of them will be Marty
November 17, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Making two squirrels in my yard get married so I don’t have to feel weird about watching them fuck
November 17, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Spaghetti is one of the coolest things you can throw at a person’s bare ass
November 17, 2025 at 5:11 PM
My grandfather was named Richard and everyone called him Dick. They just called him that. All the time. And he let them. Like he didn’t even care.
November 16, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Kinda silly making all these “throat goat” comments when we don’t even know if he was any good at it
November 15, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Reposted by slice
If I had kids, like more than one, I'd definitely have a favorite. More importantly, I'd have a least favorite.
November 14, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Said the word butt today and everyone got mad
November 15, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Hello
November 15, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Reposted by slice
OMG OMG ITS HEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!
MY COLLAB WITH COLA IS ALMOST UPON US!!!
"A cunt named Lord Durham called us a people with no literature and no history ... in order to stifle any future rebellion."

I talked to @geraldinepiche.bsky.social about being Québécois ahead of our GOOD VIBES ONLY collab, dropping tomorrow.
INTERVIEW WITH GÉRALDINE PICHÉ
GOOD VIBES ONLY drops 11/13. Subscribe to get first dibs. Email Address *
www.thecolacorporation.com
November 13, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Hey remember when Denis Leary used to sing “I’m an Asshole?” He really was.
November 12, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Reposted by slice
I remember the first time I learned there were horny milfs in my area I screamed
November 12, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Reposted by slice
go.bsky.app/PtgTvXJ please, follow these wonderful artists. Your tl will be better for it
November 11, 2025 at 12:39 PM
sending strangers a picture of your dick? harassment

sending strangers a picture of your father's dick? the single most important thing you will ever do
November 12, 2025 at 1:28 AM
I actually did lose my virginity to a couch and it annoys me that I can’t bring it up without someone mentioning the vice president. I say I banged a couch and some asshole goes “oh, like J.D. Vance?” No, like ME, motherfucker. He’s not the only person who ever fucked a couch.
November 12, 2025 at 12:08 AM
No such thing as trickle down economics, you say? Then what's all over my face?
November 11, 2025 at 12:23 AM
I don't mind sitting in the cuck chair as it gives me more time to practice my french horn
November 10, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Reposted by slice
the guy who brings me my morning waffle just told me he's quitting. i said that's fine as i had no memory of hiring him in the first place and was never clear on how he kept getting in here
November 9, 2025 at 3:30 PM
I hate bluesky
November 9, 2025 at 3:41 PM
the guy who brings me my morning waffle just told me he's quitting. i said that's fine as i had no memory of hiring him in the first place and was never clear on how he kept getting in here
November 9, 2025 at 3:30 PM
I know you’re lactose intolerant but are you butter intolerant
November 8, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Putting “truth-seeker” in my bio so that people know I seek the truth
November 1, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Probably my favorite conspiracy theory is that my dad isn’t my real dad and that the UPS guy my mom calls “your real dad” is my dad
November 1, 2025 at 4:50 PM
I think human meat tastes better than other meats because we’re so sexy
October 31, 2025 at 9:57 PM
They say eating too much human meat turns your skin yellow from jaundice but i already have jaundice so who cares
October 31, 2025 at 9:00 PM