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Whole Mariners broadcast sounded like RFK Jr for a sec
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Some of these redactions are almost like modern art
December 19, 2025 at 10:05 PM
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there’s nothing worse than a friendship with a woke gap
December 20, 2025 at 2:50 AM
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human trafficker walking around his private sex island: say cheese 📸

the most powerful people on the planet: 🙂
December 20, 2025 at 1:39 AM
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December 20, 2025 at 12:21 AM
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We asked millennials for their opinions and what they said was normal, confirming their status as the only good ones
December 19, 2025 at 7:39 PM
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Well, that was an unusual goal...
December 20, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Coworker just showed us she AVERAGES 14 hours and 26 min of screen time on her phone each day
December 19, 2025 at 9:09 PM
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699 for 3 rugged days of hog fun.
December 19, 2025 at 6:49 PM
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always remember:

1. sending someone a text message is 1000x more meaningful than a social media post
2. a phone call is technically assault
December 19, 2025 at 1:58 PM
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Affadavit is British for “one half of Dave”
December 19, 2025 at 12:30 PM
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welcome home to your parents’ house, the channels are Yellowstone, masterpiece mystery, and Jimmy fallon, btw someone from your high school died in a real weird way
December 19, 2025 at 5:09 AM
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I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons
December 18, 2025 at 2:17 PM
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fbi loves to say shit like "we got him" when what really happened is they found a body in a storage unit
December 19, 2025 at 12:41 PM
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December 19, 2025 at 4:30 AM
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Our Christmas tree comes with a cat demilitarised zone in the bottom third.
December 18, 2025 at 7:37 PM
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My response to anything over the next two weeks
December 18, 2025 at 6:10 PM
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This is a distraction and unfortunately a distraction that works on too many people and that puts our trans brothers and sisters at risk. Future generations will look back in shame.
"Men are men. Men can never become women. Women are women. Women can never become men."
December 18, 2025 at 5:47 PM
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dreamed i won a salad making competition by googling "hitler's favorite salads" finding a listicle of hitler's 20 favorite salads and letting the judges know my opponent had made hitler's 17th favorite salad
December 18, 2025 at 12:20 PM
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Hey guys, I acted in this film called Avatar: Fire and Ash. It comes out this week and I'm trying to get the word out there.
December 18, 2025 at 12:46 PM
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You and I don't have to agree on every issue, but if I characterize something as a basic tenet of my moral beliefs and your response is to tell me that, actually, one must abandon one's morals for tactical electoral purposes, I am blocking the fuck out of you and I hope nothing but the worst for you
December 18, 2025 at 3:26 AM
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This is so fun!!!!!!
December 18, 2025 at 1:53 AM
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December 16, 2025 at 11:32 PM
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Mookie Betts is apparently streaming with this dude today.
On a livestream yesterday, Puka both:
- Said that the Refs throw flags that they know are bad to brag to their friends in group chats, and
- Told Adin Ross that he'd do a "covetous jew" celebration on his next TD score

Suspend him tbh
December 17, 2025 at 7:22 PM
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23 years ago yesterday, the Twins decided it was Morban time
December 17, 2025 at 1:26 PM
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can't wait to watch this come true
December 17, 2025 at 1:57 AM