The Beeper King
@beeperking.bsky.social
Ash nazg durbatulûk, Ash nazg gimbatul, Ash nazg thrakutulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
Reposted by The Beeper King
reminder that if you have leftover halloween chocolate, dog shelters are always looking for donations! those little furbabies rarely get treats in there. Let's spoil them this year
November 4, 2025 at 12:19 AM
reminder that if you have leftover halloween chocolate, dog shelters are always looking for donations! those little furbabies rarely get treats in there. Let's spoil them this year
Reposted by The Beeper King
showing them all the new metal gear ray on a tanker ship
Few things are important enough to justify the security risk that Pete Hegseth’s planned military gathering poses, @radiofreetom.bsky.social argues in The Atlantic Daily:
Why Does Hegseth Want More Than 800 Admirals and Generals in the Same Room?
Few things are important enough to justify the security risk of putting all of these people in the same place.
bit.ly
September 30, 2025 at 12:19 AM
showing them all the new metal gear ray on a tanker ship
Reposted by The Beeper King
Jeb Bush: please
September 28, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Jeb Bush: please
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Add "6-year-old's birthday" to the list of places I've seen the Giants lose on a last second field goal. It's a long list.
September 14, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Add "6-year-old's birthday" to the list of places I've seen the Giants lose on a last second field goal. It's a long list.
4 minutes into the 2nd episode and they drop the titular line LETS GOOOO! #AlienEarth
August 21, 2025 at 2:27 AM
4 minutes into the 2nd episode and they drop the titular line LETS GOOOO! #AlienEarth
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Fun fact: the bus at the end of THE GRADUATE also couldn't slow down without exploding.
July 6, 2025 at 8:21 AM
Fun fact: the bus at the end of THE GRADUATE also couldn't slow down without exploding.
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Boston Accent Tech News
April 18, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Boston Accent Tech News
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Revealed preferences theory suggests that Wall Street executives value their ability to call their subordinates gay at approximately 8 trillion dollars
April 3, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Revealed preferences theory suggests that Wall Street executives value their ability to call their subordinates gay at approximately 8 trillion dollars
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Reposted by The Beeper King
Ms. Rachel really reminds me of the TV shows that Meatwad would watch
March 26, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Ms. Rachel really reminds me of the TV shows that Meatwad would watch
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I found where they’re conserving you
March 7, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I found where they’re conserving you
Certain baby names have been ruined just because of memes.
February 3, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Certain baby names have been ruined just because of memes.
Reposted by The Beeper King
normal games: "this is a keycard. it opens doors."
Metal Gear: "This is a P.A.N. card (Personal Area Network). The P.A.N. system passes small electrical currents through the user's salt content to emit a small field, allowing access through level 1 doors."
snake: "doors?"
Metal Gear: "This is a P.A.N. card (Personal Area Network). The P.A.N. system passes small electrical currents through the user's salt content to emit a small field, allowing access through level 1 doors."
snake: "doors?"
February 1, 2025 at 10:56 AM
normal games: "this is a keycard. it opens doors."
Metal Gear: "This is a P.A.N. card (Personal Area Network). The P.A.N. system passes small electrical currents through the user's salt content to emit a small field, allowing access through level 1 doors."
snake: "doors?"
Metal Gear: "This is a P.A.N. card (Personal Area Network). The P.A.N. system passes small electrical currents through the user's salt content to emit a small field, allowing access through level 1 doors."
snake: "doors?"
Reposted by The Beeper King
Nonstop Ls for Giants fans
January 27, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Nonstop Ls for Giants fans
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When your VP is on PTO with the family but still insists on joining the Monday morning conference call
January 17, 2025 at 3:00 PM
When your VP is on PTO with the family but still insists on joining the Monday morning conference call
Reposted by The Beeper King
For Sale: Katanas, Never Drawn
January 4, 2025 at 8:02 PM
For Sale: Katanas, Never Drawn
Reposted by The Beeper King
KINDLY FARMER: Come on inside, Dick. Martha has a hot plate for you.
DON DRAPER: (shoveling a pile of manure) Thanks, Hank. You've taught me something important about the human condition.
[later]
BUCKTOOTHED RUBE ON TV: Dove soap can even wash the shit off my stupid country ass
FARMER: what the hell
DON DRAPER: (shoveling a pile of manure) Thanks, Hank. You've taught me something important about the human condition.
[later]
BUCKTOOTHED RUBE ON TV: Dove soap can even wash the shit off my stupid country ass
FARMER: what the hell
September 20, 2024 at 1:34 PM
KINDLY FARMER: Come on inside, Dick. Martha has a hot plate for you.
DON DRAPER: (shoveling a pile of manure) Thanks, Hank. You've taught me something important about the human condition.
[later]
BUCKTOOTHED RUBE ON TV: Dove soap can even wash the shit off my stupid country ass
FARMER: what the hell
DON DRAPER: (shoveling a pile of manure) Thanks, Hank. You've taught me something important about the human condition.
[later]
BUCKTOOTHED RUBE ON TV: Dove soap can even wash the shit off my stupid country ass
FARMER: what the hell
Haters will say these are burnt.
December 24, 2024 at 8:35 PM
Haters will say these are burnt.
Reposted by The Beeper King
me: [carefully placing a baby on my boss’s desk]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]
I have to take an annual fire safety training for work, and I am reminded that I asked some of the folks who manage these things how they evacuate the NICU and apparently they have vests you can load up with babies
December 21, 2024 at 1:18 PM
me: [carefully placing a baby on my boss’s desk]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]
Maybe Dirty Wordle wasn't the best strategy.
December 11, 2024 at 4:12 PM
Maybe Dirty Wordle wasn't the best strategy.
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My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
December 3, 2023 at 1:13 AM
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord