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zbsimpson.bsky.social
ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
@zbsimpson.bsky.social
Aspiring author with ADHD, pet parent to a rescue greyhound, sometimes photographer and I do crochet. Tired a lot. Not tested on animals. 🇦🇺🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️
Pinned
🖊 Today's total: 1006
📗 Grand total: 77, 213

Back at it again after many days off. Goal is to finish by EOY. Let's see if I can!

Related gif:
a man in a black sweater says i done goofed
ALT: a man in a black sweater says i done goofed
media.tenor.com
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
November 15, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Have to work in a client's office this week. Haven't walked in but already hate it. Just let me be at home, dammit.
November 16, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
If you thought Frankenstein's Tower in the Guillermo del Toro movie looked cool, check out the real-world inspiration behind it...
November 10, 2025 at 12:27 PM
There is a large spider in my bedroom. As she is neither a redback or a whitetail I will abide by the spider peace accords and let it catch insects in peace, however if she gets much closer I may need to reconsider...
November 10, 2025 at 11:13 AM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
Hi Victorians,

You've enjoyed 85% of shared Spring weather. If you reach your total of 15 springs days before the end of November, we will slow down Summer until your usage is reset.

Thank you for your attention on this matter.

Regards,

#MelbourneWeather
November 8, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
succubus - female demon that seduces men

incubus - male demon that seduces women

vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
November 6, 2025 at 3:38 PM
The panic room is just a walk-in full of icecream
My panic room is just a cheese drawer.
My panic room is just a broom closet full of Oreos
November 7, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
My panic room is just a cheese drawer.
My panic room is just a broom closet full of Oreos
November 7, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
November 6, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
The correct and only response to this question.
November 5, 2025 at 10:43 AM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
Which of his friends are they going to aim the 21-gun salute at?
November 4, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
November 4, 2025 at 11:47 AM
To celebrate Zohran Mamdani's win in #NYC, let's all channel a bit of Linda's enthusiasm.

"HI, MAYOR!"
bob 's burgers says we 're going to go to city hall
Alt: Linda Belcher saying "we 're going to go to city hall. We're going to see the mayor...THE MAYOR!"
media.tenor.com
November 5, 2025 at 3:27 AM
In that weird, uncomfortable place in my day job career where every time I level up (develop my skills, demand a pay rise, move on to another employer etc) it means taking one step further away from what I really want to do.

This is me saying every day I awake enraged to labour under capitalism.
November 4, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
Why are Republicans bad at blackjack? …………………………………..……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..…………………………………………………………………………………………They always hit on 15.
October 31, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
This is your routine reminder that Jimmy Carr is a dickhead, and incredibly unfunny too.
October 29, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
Congressional candidate @katmabu.bsky.social, who was indicted today for protesting outside the Broadview ICE facility: "We've been punched, dragged, thrown, shot with pepper balls, tear gassed, rubber bullets from snipers on roofs going into local businesses windows."
October 30, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
Unsurprisingly, I didn't manage to sell my Rom Com to the Dalek on Saturday. BUT YOU CAN BUY IT. It is indeed about two humans having squishy feelings. IN DOUBLET AND HOSE. farragobooks.com/book/cursed-...
October 28, 2025 at 12:28 PM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
Monster: Ed Gein, a thread

Ed Gein was schizophrenic and had mummy issues, he was extremely unwell but he was NOT trans by any acceptable definition of the word and would not have been considered trans by any medical professional. He was not a trans woman he was trying to be/become his mother. 1/
October 24, 2025 at 10:37 PM
When you're staring at the night sky, it's moonscrolling.
When you’re looking at your many thread based projects, it’s loomscrolling.
when you’re going over your list of chores, it’s broomscrolling
October 21, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Who robbed the louvere? Right answers only.
October 20, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Of course women don't like the Cybertruck.

Women only want one thing, and it's a 1959 T-Bird Macarbre Mobile
October 17, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
Unlawfully built, now leaking through the safety liner. Enough fuel to blow Darwin Harbour to kingdom come
October 14, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Timeline cleanse:

Finishing up my walk in the park with Teddy and his friends, when we discovered an #echidna hiding under our car.
I convinced everyone to leave it in peace and quiet and it finally emerged to trundle off. Judging by size, it's just a baby. We named it Vic.
#wildlife #australia
October 13, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Reposted by ZBSimpson 🏳️‍🌈📚🧶💀
I'm quitting being the French Prime Minister. For an hour.
October 10, 2025 at 9:23 PM