Tender Johnson
@tenderjohnson.bsky.social
Stop all the downloadin
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Trump demands Carney give him his standing ovation from Davos
Trump demands Carney give him his standing ovation from Davos
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND - Following his poorly-received and rambling address at the World Economic Forum, U.S. President Donald Trump angrily demanded that Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney personally gi...
www.thebeaverton.com
January 21, 2026 at 6:49 PM
Trump demands Carney give him his standing ovation from Davos
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Forget strangling baby Hitler when I get a Time Machine I’m drone striking an early PayPal board meeting
December 7, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Forget strangling baby Hitler when I get a Time Machine I’m drone striking an early PayPal board meeting
Reposted by Tender Johnson
can that giant identify all kinds of blood or is the blood of englishmen particularly stinky. or fragrant? is he mad at ANY guy in his house and happens to be able to identify the nationality, or do the english have fartblood.. would he be like "hey i smell a chilean dude, wassup" or just not notice
December 6, 2025 at 4:40 AM
can that giant identify all kinds of blood or is the blood of englishmen particularly stinky. or fragrant? is he mad at ANY guy in his house and happens to be able to identify the nationality, or do the english have fartblood.. would he be like "hey i smell a chilean dude, wassup" or just not notice
Reposted by Tender Johnson
going portage glamping
December 6, 2025 at 3:06 AM
going portage glamping
Reposted by Tender Johnson
RFK Jr. Denies Ever Laying Eggs In Olivia Nuzzi https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-denies-ever-laying-eggs-in-olivia-nuzzi/
November 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
RFK Jr. Denies Ever Laying Eggs In Olivia Nuzzi https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-denies-ever-laying-eggs-in-olivia-nuzzi/
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level https://theonion.com/boyfriend-ready-to-take-relationship-to-previous-level-1819568844/
November 22, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level https://theonion.com/boyfriend-ready-to-take-relationship-to-previous-level-1819568844/
Reposted by Tender Johnson
meanwhile it’s hour 17 of JD Vance being trapped under a medicine ball somewhere
November 21, 2025 at 11:02 PM
meanwhile it’s hour 17 of JD Vance being trapped under a medicine ball somewhere
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Trump To Vance: ‘I Need You To Say You Stole My Face In The 1990s’ https://theonion.com/trump-to-vance-i-need-you-to-say-you-stole-my-face-in-the-1990s/
November 17, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Trump To Vance: ‘I Need You To Say You Stole My Face In The 1990s’ https://theonion.com/trump-to-vance-i-need-you-to-say-you-stole-my-face-in-the-1990s/
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Everyone does know what's going on here, right? Should the Epstein evidence bill pass both the House and Senate, these criminals will say it can't be released because there is an active investigation. Never mind that a thorough investigation was completed, and the DOJ was prepared to try Epstein.
November 14, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Everyone does know what's going on here, right? Should the Epstein evidence bill pass both the House and Senate, these criminals will say it can't be released because there is an active investigation. Never mind that a thorough investigation was completed, and the DOJ was prepared to try Epstein.
Reposted by Tender Johnson
RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-greets-trick-or-treaters-with-big-bowl-of-ape-glands/
October 31, 2025 at 3:01 PM
RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-greets-trick-or-treaters-with-big-bowl-of-ape-glands/
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Reposted by Tender Johnson
I think for me the most compelling answer for "why fund basic research?" (and the one most relevant to the people doing the work) is that humans are curious and finding stuff out makes us happy and fulfilled. Science is a thing humans like. Life would be more dull and sad if we didn't do it.
end/🧵
end/🧵
October 3, 2025 at 7:32 PM
I think for me the most compelling answer for "why fund basic research?" (and the one most relevant to the people doing the work) is that humans are curious and finding stuff out makes us happy and fulfilled. Science is a thing humans like. Life would be more dull and sad if we didn't do it.
end/🧵
end/🧵
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Reposted by Tender Johnson
This is my shocked face
September 23, 2025 at 9:41 PM
This is my shocked face
I think I'm being raptured
September 23, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I think I'm being raptured
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BREAKING: Florida cop treated for autism after exposure to tylenol during traffic stop
September 23, 2025 at 12:54 PM
BREAKING: Florida cop treated for autism after exposure to tylenol during traffic stop
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Impressive. Via xcancel.com/The_x_Truth/...
March 3, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Impressive. Via xcancel.com/The_x_Truth/...
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
WASHINGTON—Despite the president’s sagging approval rating overall, a Gallup Poll released Tuesday confirmed that Donald Trump’s support remained overwhelmingly strong among working-class American ped...
theonion.com
September 19, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
Reposted by Tender Johnson
To all the comedians who stood for free speech in the face of wokeness
September 19, 2025 at 8:09 PM
To all the comedians who stood for free speech in the face of wokeness
Reposted by Tender Johnson
𝐀𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬
𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛, 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑑
After equipping this item, you may not remove it from your hand. You must gaze deeply into it with every action and be driven mad. Messages from the damned come to you in haunting whispers and chilling images. Every year, you must purchase the newest version.
𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛, 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑑
After equipping this item, you may not remove it from your hand. You must gaze deeply into it with every action and be driven mad. Messages from the damned come to you in haunting whispers and chilling images. Every year, you must purchase the newest version.
September 17, 2025 at 5:45 AM
𝐀𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬
𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛, 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑑
After equipping this item, you may not remove it from your hand. You must gaze deeply into it with every action and be driven mad. Messages from the damned come to you in haunting whispers and chilling images. Every year, you must purchase the newest version.
𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛, 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑑
After equipping this item, you may not remove it from your hand. You must gaze deeply into it with every action and be driven mad. Messages from the damned come to you in haunting whispers and chilling images. Every year, you must purchase the newest version.
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Desperate Kash Patel Asks Shooter’s Family If They Can Solve Any Other Cases
Desperate Kash Patel Asks Shooter’s Family If They Can Solve Any Other Cases
WASHINGTON, UT—As he described a massive backlog of murders that continued to stump the agency he leads, desperate FBI director Kash Patel reportedly asked the family of alleged Charlie Kirk assassin ...
bit.ly
September 15, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Desperate Kash Patel Asks Shooter’s Family If They Can Solve Any Other Cases
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Stephen Miller’s Forehead Vein Lunges Out To Catch Passing Bird
theonion.com
September 15, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Reposted by Tender Johnson
"You are being musically mean to me and it's hurting my feelings so I am going to call the police department that we are supposed to be supporting to report a feels violation."
A man in Washington, DC, plays the Imperial March from Star Wars while following patrolling soldiers. One of the soldiers threatens to call the police.
September 14, 2025 at 10:25 PM
"You are being musically mean to me and it's hurting my feelings so I am going to call the police department that we are supposed to be supporting to report a feels violation."
Reposted by Tender Johnson
Before leaving the stage, the FBI Director then sprayed his teeth with silver paint and asked the assembled reporters to "witness" him and informed them that he would "die victorious on the Fury Road."
September 12, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Before leaving the stage, the FBI Director then sprayed his teeth with silver paint and asked the assembled reporters to "witness" him and informed them that he would "die victorious on the Fury Road."