Nobody
sleazysli.bsky.social
Nobody
@sleazysli.bsky.social
Nope.
Pinned
if you cry into your mashed potatoes you don’t even need salt
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oh no thank you i havent been able to digest this mornings news i couldnt possibly have any more
February 6, 2025 at 4:37 AM
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What if I hugged you real tight then slowly let go then told you your blood pressure after? What would happen then
December 8, 2024 at 4:14 AM
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No one cares if you have no DMs in your bio okay? It’s the apocalypse. Shoot your shot. See you in Hell.
December 17, 2024 at 8:19 PM
had a bone scan today and it was just a drone hovering over me for like 30 mins?
December 19, 2024 at 1:15 AM
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ok goodnight it's time to have stress dreams about work for 8 hours and then go to work for 10 hours
December 18, 2024 at 3:36 AM
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[bing crosby voice] 🎶 have yourself an existential crisis
December 24, 2023 at 8:04 PM
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You seem great. I’m a bad judge of character.
December 18, 2024 at 3:07 AM
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stop blaming mondays for your problems this is because of the witch who cursed you at birth
December 16, 2024 at 1:51 PM
what’s your favorite place to cry? mine’s the taco bell drive thru
December 6, 2024 at 4:27 PM
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Me: so in conclusion I'd say I'm most like a cat

Interviewer: you mean you're quick and always land on your feet?

Me: *headbutting the vending machine to show affection*
December 3, 2024 at 9:51 PM
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Let's get jolly up in this motherfucker
November 29, 2024 at 3:26 PM
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(texting the devil) hey man are you bringing your eggs to the function
November 28, 2024 at 1:07 PM
i went black friday shopping on tuesday nothing makes sense anymore
November 29, 2024 at 4:49 AM
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For just 50 cents a day you can throw a roll of pennies at Keith in accounting
November 21, 2024 at 12:55 AM
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I want a ghost writer. Who is willing to die in order to write me better posts
July 18, 2023 at 12:31 AM
welcome to my childhood home. i hope it makes you as uncomfortable as it makes me.
November 28, 2024 at 3:10 AM
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How it feels reconnecting with Twitter mutuals
November 11, 2024 at 7:37 PM
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“hey, I for one love the replies,” she says to nobody.
November 27, 2024 at 6:28 AM
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I don’t exact revenge, I approximate it.
November 26, 2024 at 3:58 PM
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DR: you should drink more water
ME: you mean fish air? no thanks
August 9, 2023 at 2:42 PM
if you cry into your mashed potatoes you don’t even need salt
November 28, 2024 at 2:01 AM