Secretly Jay
@secretjay.bsky.social
Husband | Father | Dad joke enthusiast
ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSE ONLY
Ramblings: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:5qzxizrvfs5ovl3bwwkowvk3/feed/aaafiirt4uukg
Ohio's cool. Ask me about it.
ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSE ONLY
Ramblings: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:5qzxizrvfs5ovl3bwwkowvk3/feed/aaafiirt4uukg
Ohio's cool. Ask me about it.
Pinned
No matter what happens, may we always post through it.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
Horny mice be like if the walls are squeaking, don’t come a-peeking
January 22, 2026 at 1:23 PM
Horny mice be like if the walls are squeaking, don’t come a-peeking
Reposted by Secretly Jay
But, I dont want to play the sane one today.
January 22, 2026 at 10:05 PM
But, I dont want to play the sane one today.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
If you have two trains of thought, one leaving your brain in a westerly direction and the other going 60 mph, how long before they become a skeet?
January 23, 2026 at 7:03 PM
If you have two trains of thought, one leaving your brain in a westerly direction and the other going 60 mph, how long before they become a skeet?
When they promise you 12 inches but it ends up being 2 inches that's called being a man.
January 23, 2026 at 7:47 PM
When they promise you 12 inches but it ends up being 2 inches that's called being a man.
Preparing for winter weather by buying a flamethrower. Follow me for more useful life hacks.
January 23, 2026 at 12:43 PM
Preparing for winter weather by buying a flamethrower. Follow me for more useful life hacks.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
I drew a giant dick in the snow on your windshield, please respond
January 22, 2026 at 12:20 PM
I drew a giant dick in the snow on your windshield, please respond
Reposted by Secretly Jay
not a single muppet has followed me back. i hate it here
January 21, 2026 at 10:49 PM
not a single muppet has followed me back. i hate it here
Reposted by Secretly Jay
idk, maybe the dinosaurs were playing marco polo when shit went down and now nessie over at the loch is still shouting marco into the void
January 21, 2026 at 1:12 PM
idk, maybe the dinosaurs were playing marco polo when shit went down and now nessie over at the loch is still shouting marco into the void
Now that all of your resolutions have failed, please resume screaming into the void.
January 21, 2026 at 1:08 PM
Now that all of your resolutions have failed, please resume screaming into the void.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
Employment is just a social experiment to see how much nonsense a person can absorb politely.
January 21, 2026 at 2:34 AM
Employment is just a social experiment to see how much nonsense a person can absorb politely.
Maybe the real treasure was the number of Waldos we found along the way.
January 21, 2026 at 2:00 AM
Maybe the real treasure was the number of Waldos we found along the way.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
the worst thing about life is all the waiting
January 20, 2026 at 2:55 AM
the worst thing about life is all the waiting
Reposted by Secretly Jay
I'd rather live happily ever now, than happily ever after.
January 20, 2026 at 12:39 PM
I'd rather live happily ever now, than happily ever after.
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There’s not enough sighs and eye rolls to get through this week.
January 20, 2026 at 2:29 PM
There’s not enough sighs and eye rolls to get through this week.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
I feel like the value in being named Greg is slipping
January 20, 2026 at 1:33 PM
I feel like the value in being named Greg is slipping
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they say dress for the job you want but i can’t get lasers to shoot out of my eyes
January 20, 2026 at 2:16 PM
they say dress for the job you want but i can’t get lasers to shoot out of my eyes
Ohio's cool because we cut our round pizzas into squares so the asymmetry causes deep rooted strife during a meal as God intended.
January 20, 2026 at 2:18 PM
Ohio's cool because we cut our round pizzas into squares so the asymmetry causes deep rooted strife during a meal as God intended.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
I trusted cottage cheese and it showed me who it really was. Protein content was high. Joy was zero.
January 20, 2026 at 2:00 AM
I trusted cottage cheese and it showed me who it really was. Protein content was high. Joy was zero.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
Did you know that you can make a whole cookie sheet of croutons and then eat them and no one stops you
January 19, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Did you know that you can make a whole cookie sheet of croutons and then eat them and no one stops you
Cignetti is the embodiment of a fathers disappointment when his child doesn’t become the next *insert famous sports person*
January 20, 2026 at 2:37 AM
Cignetti is the embodiment of a fathers disappointment when his child doesn’t become the next *insert famous sports person*
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I've done my fair share of schooling but the most useful lesson I learned was how to efficiently bag groceries at my first job when I was 16. I know a self-checkout hate to see me coming.
January 19, 2026 at 5:47 PM
I've done my fair share of schooling but the most useful lesson I learned was how to efficiently bag groceries at my first job when I was 16. I know a self-checkout hate to see me coming.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
When smart people like my posts I feel like I snuck past the bouncer.
January 19, 2026 at 2:27 AM
When smart people like my posts I feel like I snuck past the bouncer.
You know what's worse than stepping on Lego's? Stepping on two Lego's.
January 19, 2026 at 1:55 PM
You know what's worse than stepping on Lego's? Stepping on two Lego's.
Reposted by Secretly Jay
i don’t think it’s appropriate that old people are my age
January 19, 2026 at 1:15 PM
i don’t think it’s appropriate that old people are my age
The best thing about waking up before the crack of dawn is…..well nothing.
January 19, 2026 at 11:06 AM
The best thing about waking up before the crack of dawn is…..well nothing.