Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
@scottwhitegloves.bsky.social
Canadian, from Toronto.
If you choose not to laugh at farts, your life will contain less laughter but the same amount of farts.
If you choose not to laugh at farts, your life will contain less laughter but the same amount of farts.
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
If he’s allowed to seize Greenland, Canada is next.
January 19, 2026 at 6:00 AM
If he’s allowed to seize Greenland, Canada is next.
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
DNC congressional staffer draft tweet: "how is nuking Berlin, as president Trump just did, supposed to help bring down grocery prices for hard working Americans?"
January 19, 2026 at 6:01 AM
DNC congressional staffer draft tweet: "how is nuking Berlin, as president Trump just did, supposed to help bring down grocery prices for hard working Americans?"
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
this is what the nail girlies are up to
January 17, 2026 at 8:19 PM
this is what the nail girlies are up to
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
Don’t fucking say this shit to me when I haven’t been able to reach my family in 10 days.
And don’t fucking tell me to log off.
White progressives are seriously the worst sometimes.
Deeply self-centered while having the veneer of caring.
And don’t fucking tell me to log off.
White progressives are seriously the worst sometimes.
Deeply self-centered while having the veneer of caring.
You are being a total jerk about this. The Iranian people have suffered for decades.
We Americans are only now learning to live under authoritarian rule but hopefully we won’t wait 47 years to force it to the ash heap of history.
We Americans are only now learning to live under authoritarian rule but hopefully we won’t wait 47 years to force it to the ash heap of history.
January 19, 2026 at 2:13 AM
Don’t fucking say this shit to me when I haven’t been able to reach my family in 10 days.
And don’t fucking tell me to log off.
White progressives are seriously the worst sometimes.
Deeply self-centered while having the veneer of caring.
And don’t fucking tell me to log off.
White progressives are seriously the worst sometimes.
Deeply self-centered while having the veneer of caring.
La Hacienca on Queen Street West in Toronto. Cheap good quasi Mexican food.
Sunday night timeline cleanse
please tell me about your favorite lost restaurant (closed for at least 5 years, like I really want you to go back into the vault), why you loved it and what you ate there
please tell me about your favorite lost restaurant (closed for at least 5 years, like I really want you to go back into the vault), why you loved it and what you ate there
January 19, 2026 at 2:11 AM
La Hacienca on Queen Street West in Toronto. Cheap good quasi Mexican food.
I bet this guy spends more on grooming and tailoring every year than most of his constituents make in a year. And yes, I think it matters when people like this are supposed to "represent" others.
"We've seen over a thousand percent increase in assaults on ICE officers, 8,000 verbal assaults on them...."
January 18, 2026 at 8:09 PM
I bet this guy spends more on grooming and tailoring every year than most of his constituents make in a year. And yes, I think it matters when people like this are supposed to "represent" others.
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
January 18, 2026 at 3:53 PM
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
People keep saying to Donald that doing something "will please Putin", as if somehow that will dissuade him from doing it, rather than the reverse.
Spanish PM Pedro Sánchez stated that a U.S. invasion of Greenland would make Putin "the happiest man on earth," La Vanguardia.
"If we focus on Greenland, I have to say that a U.S. invasion of that territory would make Putin the happiest man on earth. Why?
"If we focus on Greenland, I have to say that a U.S. invasion of that territory would make Putin the happiest man on earth. Why?
January 18, 2026 at 5:34 PM
People keep saying to Donald that doing something "will please Putin", as if somehow that will dissuade him from doing it, rather than the reverse.
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
A1 attitude people✊
January 18, 2026 at 5:35 PM
A1 attitude people✊
Once, just one time, I so badly want for Welker to say to him after one of these insane answers:
"Have y'all lost yer damn minds?? Cause it seems to me, and to most of America that y'all lost yer damn minds"
We need this to be said to Bessent et al, on national TV, and the sooner the better.
"Have y'all lost yer damn minds?? Cause it seems to me, and to most of America that y'all lost yer damn minds"
We need this to be said to Bessent et al, on national TV, and the sooner the better.
WELKER: Is military action on the table?
BESSENT: I believe the Europeans will understand that the best outcome is for the US to receive control of Greenland
BESSENT: I believe the Europeans will understand that the best outcome is for the US to receive control of Greenland
January 18, 2026 at 5:34 PM
Once, just one time, I so badly want for Welker to say to him after one of these insane answers:
"Have y'all lost yer damn minds?? Cause it seems to me, and to most of America that y'all lost yer damn minds"
We need this to be said to Bessent et al, on national TV, and the sooner the better.
"Have y'all lost yer damn minds?? Cause it seems to me, and to most of America that y'all lost yer damn minds"
We need this to be said to Bessent et al, on national TV, and the sooner the better.
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
Back in your cot you clot
January 18, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Back in your cot you clot
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
"There is no emergency, but if we create one, then there will be an emergency."
WELKER: What is the national emergency that justifies this new slate of tariffs?
BESSENT: The national emergency is avoiding a national emergency
BESSENT: The national emergency is avoiding a national emergency
January 18, 2026 at 3:24 PM
"There is no emergency, but if we create one, then there will be an emergency."
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
This is what the world thinks of us.
"America isn't the way it is because he's president, he's president because America is the way it is."
-Canadian Broadcasting Corporation 2026.
"America isn't the way it is because he's president, he's president because America is the way it is."
-Canadian Broadcasting Corporation 2026.
January 8, 2026 at 9:28 PM
This is what the world thinks of us.
"America isn't the way it is because he's president, he's president because America is the way it is."
-Canadian Broadcasting Corporation 2026.
"America isn't the way it is because he's president, he's president because America is the way it is."
-Canadian Broadcasting Corporation 2026.
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
Blueskis, studies have shown that when folks see or hear about a book more than five times, they are likely to check it out, and buy it.
So in the spirit of creating buzz, here is the gorgeous cover of THE WESTERNERS, which will be published on March 31!
So in the spirit of creating buzz, here is the gorgeous cover of THE WESTERNERS, which will be published on March 31!
January 18, 2026 at 3:27 PM
Blueskis, studies have shown that when folks see or hear about a book more than five times, they are likely to check it out, and buy it.
So in the spirit of creating buzz, here is the gorgeous cover of THE WESTERNERS, which will be published on March 31!
So in the spirit of creating buzz, here is the gorgeous cover of THE WESTERNERS, which will be published on March 31!
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
Imagine being so venal you embarrass people who work for FIFA
January 18, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Imagine being so venal you embarrass people who work for FIFA
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
January 17, 2026 at 2:23 AM
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
Bluesky posters will be like you “you think massive universal legal resistance with total support from the population works? that pales in comparison to my strategy, winning a shootout with an ICE army” and then not win a shootout with an ICE army
Oh my god theyre killing rosa luxemburg again lmao, your failure to engage in armed resistance is speedrunning you towards death camps
There’s no real debate. I have witnessed a very small number of ICE activists advocating for carrying firearms or even trying to agitate by physically striking ICE vehicles, etc. Let’s be clear: the incredibly vast majority of people resisting ICE correctly believe these people are fools.
January 18, 2026 at 2:32 AM
Bluesky posters will be like you “you think massive universal legal resistance with total support from the population works? that pales in comparison to my strategy, winning a shootout with an ICE army” and then not win a shootout with an ICE army
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
It’s crazy that Canada would jeopardize its alliance with the US because it needs that alliance in order to protect Canada from the only country that has a potential motive, the geographic proximity, and military capability to invade Canada, which is oh never mind..
January 17, 2026 at 9:21 PM
It’s crazy that Canada would jeopardize its alliance with the US because it needs that alliance in order to protect Canada from the only country that has a potential motive, the geographic proximity, and military capability to invade Canada, which is oh never mind..
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
The Toronto Sceptres hosted the Vancouver Golden-Eyes for the Battle on Bay Street, a game played at ScotiaBank Arena.
#torontosceptres #pwhl #pwhlToronto @thepwhl.com @thestar.com @pwhlsceptres.bsky.social
#torontosceptres #pwhl #pwhlToronto @thepwhl.com @thestar.com @pwhlsceptres.bsky.social
January 18, 2026 at 1:45 AM
The Toronto Sceptres hosted the Vancouver Golden-Eyes for the Battle on Bay Street, a game played at ScotiaBank Arena.
#torontosceptres #pwhl #pwhlToronto @thepwhl.com @thestar.com @pwhlsceptres.bsky.social
#torontosceptres #pwhl #pwhlToronto @thepwhl.com @thestar.com @pwhlsceptres.bsky.social
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
The president's threat to impose tariffs on countries that oppose his desire to acquire Greenland shows that he does not see tariffs as an economic tool to help America, but as a weapon to hurt his enemies. That's the fundamental nature of his entire presidency.
January 17, 2026 at 1:40 PM
The president's threat to impose tariffs on countries that oppose his desire to acquire Greenland shows that he does not see tariffs as an economic tool to help America, but as a weapon to hurt his enemies. That's the fundamental nature of his entire presidency.
If ever there was a reason Canada needs to be in the EU, it's because they have something called the Trade Bazooka.
Due to reasons, spending my Saturday evening reading about the Anti-Coercion Instrument
Anti-Coercion Instrument - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
January 18, 2026 at 2:03 AM
If ever there was a reason Canada needs to be in the EU, it's because they have something called the Trade Bazooka.
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
They'll watch a guy accidentally shoot off his own testicle while cleaning his pistol, and turn around to declare "It might look chaotic in the short term, but this strategy reduces his chance of testicular cancer by a whopping 50%."
January 17, 2026 at 6:28 PM
They'll watch a guy accidentally shoot off his own testicle while cleaning his pistol, and turn around to declare "It might look chaotic in the short term, but this strategy reduces his chance of testicular cancer by a whopping 50%."
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
Totally agree with this.
One thing we should internalize is that Trump proposes to do a lot of what we could characterize as "insane" things, and he tries to do about 95% of them.
One thing we should internalize is that Trump proposes to do a lot of what we could characterize as "insane" things, and he tries to do about 95% of them.
Dismissing the very idea Trump could "cancel" the next election when he has said he wants to and when there are almost certainly people in the White House working on some vision for exactly that is just stupid.
January 17, 2026 at 6:27 AM
Totally agree with this.
One thing we should internalize is that Trump proposes to do a lot of what we could characterize as "insane" things, and he tries to do about 95% of them.
One thing we should internalize is that Trump proposes to do a lot of what we could characterize as "insane" things, and he tries to do about 95% of them.
Reposted by Scott Lyons, Complete And Total Purchase Dad
When the racist meme becomes national policy
January 17, 2026 at 4:53 AM
When the racist meme becomes national policy