Allison
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rooflizard.bsky.social
Allison
@rooflizard.bsky.social
talk is cheap and baby, time's expensive
Pinned
Today's photo on my parents' Instagram is just so good, like it is insane that my dad can do this

www.instagram.com/p/DLnFyC3ODZ...
Reposted by Allison
Daisy brand cottage cheese wants you to fistfight ICE
you may have noticed there is suddenly extra protein in everything. this is the government attempting to get us jacked. for war
January 12, 2026 at 3:49 AM
My brother was like, I enjoy the reminder NOT to hop on Pop
January 11, 2026 at 3:06 AM
What I'm tryna find 🙏
January 10, 2026 at 11:52 PM
Reposted by Allison
been watching looney tunes from the 30s and 40s for about 7 hours now and i think im ready to try this stuff irl
January 10, 2026 at 4:58 AM
Her best song and also the way she says "baby baby baby" is one of the greatest lines in any song I know
January 9, 2026 at 5:58 PM
Reposted by Allison
Renee Macklin Good's wife, Becca Good, released a statement and it moved me to sobbing tears:

archive.is/ur35j
January 9, 2026 at 4:40 PM
😂😭
January 9, 2026 at 6:05 AM
I joined my gym in December 2024, and set a goal that I wanted to be able to deadlift my body weight by the end of 2025. Took until January 8th, but tonight I did it for five reps
January 9, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Reposted by Allison
i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
January 8, 2026 at 2:18 PM
Reposted by Allison
"They were doing their jobs"

It's a bad job... Fuck that job
January 8, 2026 at 2:32 PM
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this is Episcopalian for “y’all goin to HELL hell”
"I urge any who are involved in the administration of the current immigration enforcement regime at any level to seek the counsel of their clergy, given my urgent pastoral concern for the moral and spiritual injury that their participation is causing them." - Bp. Rob Price of Dallas, 1/1/2026
January 7, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Momo!!
January 7, 2026 at 9:16 PM
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Traumatising yourself is not praxis.
January 7, 2026 at 7:54 PM
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I know she was in there ACTING UP
January 7, 2026 at 3:59 PM
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Why Would Women Like Naked Gorgeous Men Talking About Their Emotions. Why Would Women Like Beautiful Sexy Men Yearning Sexily. Why Would Women Like Sculpted Butts And True Love. The Female Mind Is An Enigma.
January 7, 2026 at 3:15 AM
January 7, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Justified 4 ever
Given that apparently the Stranger Things finale was meh (idk, didn't watch it, just the scuttlebutt) and we're not that far removed from the disastrous GOT finale that retroactively made everyone have never cared about the show:

What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
January 6, 2026 at 11:24 PM
Well shit, dude
January 6, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Deleted all the tabs from my phone and starting fresh, digitally akin to getting a new notebook and believing it can make me a different person
January 6, 2026 at 10:30 PM
I do have some regret about not being more persistent about trying to switch to going by my middle name in the fifth grade

Obviously I could still do it but: lazy
People should choose their own names
This place needs some Innocuous Discourse pronto. Quote this with a take that’s not political or aggressive
January 6, 2026 at 9:29 PM
Reposted by Allison
For Epiphany, this glorious 1966 illustration of the Three Kings by the great Eyvind Earle (1916 - 2000), best remembered for his enormous contribution to Disney Animation's visual style during the 1950s, particularly Sleeping Beauty (1959).
January 6, 2026 at 6:45 PM
Reposted by Allison
such a cool motherfucker. deserves more prominent roles.
January 6, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Still remember the devastation of a friend's mom telling us to stop being ugly when we were being mean, just so effective
January 6, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Making my bed, walked into the metal bedpost, it went between two toes and I broke a toe. It was Christmas day.
What's the most ridiculous way you ever hurt yourself? I got out of the tub, skidded in water and tripped over the toilet. Ankle sprain.

😅
January 6, 2026 at 1:27 AM
Ugh I HATE those
January 5, 2026 at 6:20 PM