Allison
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rooflizard.bsky.social
Allison
@rooflizard.bsky.social
talk is cheap and baby, time's expensive
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Today's photo on my parents' Instagram is just so good, like it is insane that my dad can do this

www.instagram.com/p/DLnFyC3ODZ...
I joined my gym in December 2024, and set a goal that I wanted to be able to deadlift my body weight by the end of 2025. Took until January 8th, but tonight I did it for five reps
January 9, 2026 at 12:45 AM
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i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
January 8, 2026 at 2:18 PM
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"They were doing their jobs"

It's a bad job... Fuck that job
January 8, 2026 at 2:32 PM
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this is Episcopalian for “y’all goin to HELL hell”
"I urge any who are involved in the administration of the current immigration enforcement regime at any level to seek the counsel of their clergy, given my urgent pastoral concern for the moral and spiritual injury that their participation is causing them." - Bp. Rob Price of Dallas, 1/1/2026
January 7, 2026 at 9:00 PM
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Traumatising yourself is not praxis.
January 7, 2026 at 7:54 PM
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I know she was in there ACTING UP
January 7, 2026 at 3:59 PM
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Why Would Women Like Naked Gorgeous Men Talking About Their Emotions. Why Would Women Like Beautiful Sexy Men Yearning Sexily. Why Would Women Like Sculpted Butts And True Love. The Female Mind Is An Enigma.
January 7, 2026 at 3:15 AM
January 7, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Justified 4 ever
Given that apparently the Stranger Things finale was meh (idk, didn't watch it, just the scuttlebutt) and we're not that far removed from the disastrous GOT finale that retroactively made everyone have never cared about the show:

What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
January 6, 2026 at 11:24 PM
Deleted all the tabs from my phone and starting fresh, digitally akin to getting a new notebook and believing it can make me a different person
January 6, 2026 at 10:30 PM
I do have some regret about not being more persistent about trying to switch to going by my middle name in the fifth grade

Obviously I could still do it but: lazy
People should choose their own names
This place needs some Innocuous Discourse pronto. Quote this with a take that’s not political or aggressive
January 6, 2026 at 9:29 PM
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For Epiphany, this glorious 1966 illustration of the Three Kings by the great Eyvind Earle (1916 - 2000), best remembered for his enormous contribution to Disney Animation's visual style during the 1950s, particularly Sleeping Beauty (1959).
January 6, 2026 at 6:45 PM
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such a cool motherfucker. deserves more prominent roles.
January 6, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Making my bed, walked into the metal bedpost, it went between two toes and I broke a toe. It was Christmas day.
What's the most ridiculous way you ever hurt yourself? I got out of the tub, skidded in water and tripped over the toilet. Ankle sprain.

😅
January 6, 2026 at 1:27 AM
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My whole life, advocating war has been fed to me as “the adult position,” akin to drinking your coffee black or reading the business section of the newspaper. Let’s be very clear — war is the childish nonsense of impulsive destructive idiots playing baby-brained video games with real human lives.
January 4, 2026 at 2:02 AM
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Nine Delights 2026
January 1, 2026 at 8:13 PM
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Happy Public Domain Day, gang! Nancy Drew, The Shadow, Japanese superhero Golden Bat, and Betty Boop (dog version) have all just had their copyrights expire.

Go nuts!
January 1, 2026 at 6:01 AM
The best New Year's Day traditions: jump into Barton Springs and then go to the annual BookPeople sale
January 1, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Choosing to believe this is Science
January 1, 2026 at 5:39 PM
Wreck 'em, as I'm famously always saying
January 1, 2026 at 4:56 PM
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Happy New Year! We love sharing these pro-book posters from the Works Projects Administration Poster Collection in the Library's Prints and Photographs Division. Of the 2,000 WPA posters known to exist, the Library of Congress's collection of more than 900 is the largest.
January 1, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Happy new year, friends. May this year give us the good for which we don't even know to ask
January 1, 2026 at 6:07 AM
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The Times Square ball drop is a nice bit of pageantry, but the “real” New Year is of course at midnight Central Time
January 1, 2025 at 5:07 AM
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you gotta laugh at stuff or you’ll cry
December 31, 2025 at 7:22 PM
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Watch The (Cheez-It) Throne 🤘
December 31, 2025 at 11:56 PM