Felonius Monkey
@rcastle024.bsky.social
Tell your dog I said hi.
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Borg Queen: Go to Sector 001 and assimilate Species 5618. But first, find and assimilate the individual designated as "Picard"
Cube 982: Acknowledged
Queen: And give him sculpted abs
Cube 982: ???
Queen: I want him to have a six pack of tungsten cum-gutters. It's important
Cube 982: We will comply 🫡
Cube 982: Acknowledged
Queen: And give him sculpted abs
Cube 982: ???
Queen: I want him to have a six pack of tungsten cum-gutters. It's important
Cube 982: We will comply 🫡
February 12, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Borg Queen: Go to Sector 001 and assimilate Species 5618. But first, find and assimilate the individual designated as "Picard"
Cube 982: Acknowledged
Queen: And give him sculpted abs
Cube 982: ???
Queen: I want him to have a six pack of tungsten cum-gutters. It's important
Cube 982: We will comply 🫡
Cube 982: Acknowledged
Queen: And give him sculpted abs
Cube 982: ???
Queen: I want him to have a six pack of tungsten cum-gutters. It's important
Cube 982: We will comply 🫡
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
House votes on dumbass resolution condemning socialism, meanwhile the DSA's Lisan al-Gaib rolls the truculent child brain president like a pair of socks
November 21, 2025 at 9:19 PM
House votes on dumbass resolution condemning socialism, meanwhile the DSA's Lisan al-Gaib rolls the truculent child brain president like a pair of socks
Wut the actual fuck...
Gavin and Tanner, planned and trained for nearly a year, legal documents say, in an elaborate attempt to invade a Haitian island, kill its Black men, enslave its Black women and Black children and fulfill their "rape fantasies."
www.fox4news.com/news/haitian...
www.fox4news.com/news/haitian...
NTX men planned to murder men, enslave women on foreign island: Indictment
Two North Texas men have been indicted for an alleged scheme to sail to a foreign island, murder all the men, and enslave the women and children.
www.fox4news.com
November 21, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Wut the actual fuck...
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Nestlé worried AI will destroy world’s water supply before they do
Nestlé worried AI will destroy world’s water supply before they do
VEVEY, SWITZERLAND - Nestlé executives gathered from around the world to announce their grave concern regarding the impact that artificial intelligence’s water consumption will have on their own abili...
www.thebeaverton.com
November 15, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Nestlé worried AI will destroy world’s water supply before they do
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
If you need me, tap me on the shoulder. I’ll be happily working all day listening to this on a loop.
November 13, 2025 at 1:49 PM
If you need me, tap me on the shoulder. I’ll be happily working all day listening to this on a loop.
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Trump Says Epstein Emails Only Prove He One Of The Most Emailed-About Men In History https://theonion.com/trump-says-epstein-emails-only-prove-he-one-of-the-most-emailed-about-men-in-history/
November 13, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Trump Says Epstein Emails Only Prove He One Of The Most Emailed-About Men In History https://theonion.com/trump-says-epstein-emails-only-prove-he-one-of-the-most-emailed-about-men-in-history/
1. A Wrinkle In Time
2. Firestarter
3. The Time Traveller's Wife
4. The Dark Forest
5. All The President's Men
2. Firestarter
3. The Time Traveller's Wife
4. The Dark Forest
5. All The President's Men
performative reading, lack of reading skills, nobody's reading anymore -- NO!
tell me about a book that changed you
for me? the *extremely* ahistorical novel, THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY which I read at 13 and was like, "Oh, art can be *everything* to a maker, for good and bad"
tell me about a book that changed you
for me? the *extremely* ahistorical novel, THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY which I read at 13 and was like, "Oh, art can be *everything* to a maker, for good and bad"
November 11, 2025 at 11:54 PM
1. A Wrinkle In Time
2. Firestarter
3. The Time Traveller's Wife
4. The Dark Forest
5. All The President's Men
2. Firestarter
3. The Time Traveller's Wife
4. The Dark Forest
5. All The President's Men
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
RFK Jr's response to someone collapsing nearby him was to haul ass out of the room as quickly as possible
November 6, 2025 at 5:45 PM
RFK Jr's response to someone collapsing nearby him was to haul ass out of the room as quickly as possible
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!
October 22, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Local legislator displays the importance of kerning
October 22, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Local legislator displays the importance of kerning
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Reddit's AI product provided dangerous advice in medical subreddits and moderators can't turn it off www.404media.co/reddit-answe...
Reddit's AI Suggests Users Try Heroin
AI-generated Reddit Answers are giving bad advice in medical subreddits and moderators can’t opt out.
www.404media.co
October 16, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Reddit's AI product provided dangerous advice in medical subreddits and moderators can't turn it off www.404media.co/reddit-answe...
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
October 14, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Just felt like sharing this today. No reason.
October 10, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Just felt like sharing this today. No reason.
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile starts... now.
The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein
YouTube video by The Onion
www.youtube.com
October 9, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile starts... now.
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Dolly Parton Shares Video Confirming Sister A Shit-Stirring Bitch https://theonion.com/dolly-parton-shares-video-confirming-sister-a-shit-stirring-bitch/
October 9, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Dolly Parton Shares Video Confirming Sister A Shit-Stirring Bitch https://theonion.com/dolly-parton-shares-video-confirming-sister-a-shit-stirring-bitch/
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Autism antibodies are stored in the foreskin.
Besides linking Tylenol in pregnant women to autism, RFK Jr. now says circumcision is part of the reason why kids are autistic.
"Children who are circumcised early have double the rate of autism, and it's highly likely because they're given Tylenol. None of this is positive..."
"Children who are circumcised early have double the rate of autism, and it's highly likely because they're given Tylenol. None of this is positive..."
October 9, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Autism antibodies are stored in the foreskin.
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile debuts tonight on The Onion's YouTube channel at 7 p.m. ET.
Finally somebody will release some dang Epstein Files if you know what I'm sayin'!!!
Finally somebody will release some dang Epstein Files if you know what I'm sayin'!!!
October 9, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile debuts tonight on The Onion's YouTube channel at 7 p.m. ET.
Finally somebody will release some dang Epstein Files if you know what I'm sayin'!!!
Finally somebody will release some dang Epstein Files if you know what I'm sayin'!!!
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
“A second inflatable frog has now been spotted wiggling through Portland.”
October 8, 2025 at 10:54 PM
“A second inflatable frog has now been spotted wiggling through Portland.”
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Rebecca Sugar (Steven Universe) to direct a "Moomins" animated feature film.
variety.com/2025/film/ne...
variety.com/2025/film/ne...
October 6, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Rebecca Sugar (Steven Universe) to direct a "Moomins" animated feature film.
variety.com/2025/film/ne...
variety.com/2025/film/ne...
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
I ended up on swifty TikTok and the comments are absolutely killing me. "9th grade slam poetry", [a photo of boiled chicken], "album for cop wives", "If Taylor wrote this that's bad, if ChatGPT wrote this that's worse, and if Travis wrote this I'm actually kind of proud of him".
October 5, 2025 at 7:41 AM
I ended up on swifty TikTok and the comments are absolutely killing me. "9th grade slam poetry", [a photo of boiled chicken], "album for cop wives", "If Taylor wrote this that's bad, if ChatGPT wrote this that's worse, and if Travis wrote this I'm actually kind of proud of him".
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
TFW you're sent to AIHR for using AI at work
May 12, 2025 at 2:45 PM
TFW you're sent to AIHR for using AI at work
Reposted by Felonius Monkey
Hey remember when the CDC dropped 6 of the 8 foodborne illnesses from the nationwide monitoring system in July and one of them was listeria? Mentioning for no particular reason www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...
September 30, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Hey remember when the CDC dropped 6 of the 8 foodborne illnesses from the nationwide monitoring system in July and one of them was listeria? Mentioning for no particular reason www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...