Johnson
@moarhops.bsky.social
Unretired keg farmer, Piper's Pub forever
Reposted by Johnson
2am at the club when all the lights come on
January 23, 2026 at 3:09 AM
2am at the club when all the lights come on
Reposted by Johnson
Panicked Ben Shapiro Puts Wet Wife into Big Bag of Rice
thehardtimes.net/culture/pani...
thehardtimes.net/culture/pani...
Panicked Ben Shapiro Puts Wet Wife into Big Bag of Rice
Conservative political commentator Ben Shapiro rushed to dry out his wife after she told him of her condition.
thehardtimes.net
January 22, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Panicked Ben Shapiro Puts Wet Wife into Big Bag of Rice
thehardtimes.net/culture/pani...
thehardtimes.net/culture/pani...
Got a Chicken Latino chicken quesadilla for lunch and the thing must've weighed 8 pounds, easily a 3 mealsadilla, swear on my life it had an entire chicken's worth of meat on it and their green sauce makes me want to air punch a hole in the sky. 25/10, Chicken Latino forever.
January 22, 2026 at 3:36 AM
Got a Chicken Latino chicken quesadilla for lunch and the thing must've weighed 8 pounds, easily a 3 mealsadilla, swear on my life it had an entire chicken's worth of meat on it and their green sauce makes me want to air punch a hole in the sky. 25/10, Chicken Latino forever.
Reposted by Johnson
In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies.
I have translated some of the highlights
I have translated some of the highlights
January 20, 2026 at 12:30 AM
In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies.
I have translated some of the highlights
I have translated some of the highlights
"the fuck does the health department need a best by date on salt?? It's a fuckin rock" #CookQuotes
January 19, 2026 at 5:28 PM
"the fuck does the health department need a best by date on salt?? It's a fuckin rock" #CookQuotes
Reposted by Johnson
"did Moses take Adderall? No, he took peyote and that's good enough for me" #CookQuotes
January 18, 2026 at 4:03 PM
"did Moses take Adderall? No, he took peyote and that's good enough for me" #CookQuotes
Reposted by Johnson
Fückin' guy's gonna ruin everything over some fückin' ice patch in the Arctic. Príck.
January 17, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Fückin' guy's gonna ruin everything over some fückin' ice patch in the Arctic. Príck.
Really feeling like ontrac shipping is just a front to steal everything they're supposed to deliver
January 16, 2026 at 4:54 AM
Really feeling like ontrac shipping is just a front to steal everything they're supposed to deliver
Reposted by Johnson
QR codes for ICE is hilarious, like they’re a restaurant menu that shoots people in the face.
January 14, 2026 at 6:15 PM
QR codes for ICE is hilarious, like they’re a restaurant menu that shoots people in the face.
Reposted by Johnson
In retrospect, I wish I hadn't stored my callback library of every joke and thought for the last ten years exclusively on the website now run as a right-wing propaganda machine by the world's most odious megabillionaire. Oh well. Live and learn.
January 14, 2026 at 5:36 PM
In retrospect, I wish I hadn't stored my callback library of every joke and thought for the last ten years exclusively on the website now run as a right-wing propaganda machine by the world's most odious megabillionaire. Oh well. Live and learn.
Reposted by Johnson
scanning the QR code of the ICE agent choking me out and it’s the menu to applebees
January 14, 2026 at 5:19 PM
scanning the QR code of the ICE agent choking me out and it’s the menu to applebees
Reposted by Johnson
Reposted by Johnson
"we need the murderous police to arrest the murderous ICE agents even though they are all working together" do you hear yourself
January 13, 2026 at 8:16 PM
"we need the murderous police to arrest the murderous ICE agents even though they are all working together" do you hear yourself
First weekend in January is slow for restaurants they said, surely won't spend 14 hours on your feet they said...
a man wearing a black shirt that says random halves
ALT: a man wearing a black shirt that says random halves
media.tenor.com
January 11, 2026 at 2:40 AM
First weekend in January is slow for restaurants they said, surely won't spend 14 hours on your feet they said...
Also, put your address and hours in your social media bios ya filthy animals, make it easier for me to throw money at you
Me clicking on a restaurant website: I wonder when they're open and what they serve
Restaurant website: O U R M I S S I O N
Restaurant website: O U R M I S S I O N
January 10, 2026 at 4:24 AM
Also, put your address and hours in your social media bios ya filthy animals, make it easier for me to throw money at you
Reposted by Johnson
Reposted by Johnson
They're jerkin' off in Waymos, T. There's nobody else in there, so they're beatin' it. Sick shıt.
January 9, 2026 at 5:16 PM
They're jerkin' off in Waymos, T. There's nobody else in there, so they're beatin' it. Sick shıt.
Reposted by Johnson
"guy with a don't tread on me flag dresses up as a nameless agent of state power and rains lethal force on someone who mildly inconvenienced him" is the last few decades of that flag wrapped in a single murder
January 9, 2026 at 3:03 PM
"guy with a don't tread on me flag dresses up as a nameless agent of state power and rains lethal force on someone who mildly inconvenienced him" is the last few decades of that flag wrapped in a single murder
Reposted by Johnson
American conservatives will look you right in the eye with a straight face and tell you that complete and utter subservience to masked federal police is patriotism, anything else deserves being executed in the street, and tax dollars for healthcare is tyranny.
January 9, 2026 at 12:12 AM
American conservatives will look you right in the eye with a straight face and tell you that complete and utter subservience to masked federal police is patriotism, anything else deserves being executed in the street, and tax dollars for healthcare is tyranny.
PileZ would never
Oakland. 370 Atwood Street - La Cantina. City detectives and PA State Police are conducting a nuisance bar raid.
January 8, 2026 at 7:02 PM
PileZ would never