Michelle Milliken
@michelleym.bsky.social
Auntie. Slow runner. Easily distracted hiker. Writer of rejected submissions. Mourning the Oakland A's. Pretend hockey fan. 2006 AL 2B Gold Glove truther. https://michellemilliken.substack.com/
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Michelle Milliken
@michelleym.bsky.social
· Dec 22
Five Pieces of Life Advice From My Late, Great Mom
She's been gone 10 years, but her goofy influence lives on
michellemilliken.substack.com
This week's humor newsletter is about a super funny topic: Grief! Tuesday is 10 years since our mom died at 59 from breast cancer, so I wrote about some of her important lasting lessons.
michellemilliken.substack.com/p/five-piece...
michellemilliken.substack.com/p/five-piece...
My humor post this week recalls a harrowing Salt Lake City Winter Olympics experience, which happened alongside the unmistakable dreaminess of Apolo Anton Ohno.
michellemilliken.substack.com/p/the-time-s...
michellemilliken.substack.com/p/the-time-s...
The Time Speed Skating Made My Entire Family Violently Ill
We didn't need Apolo Ohno's soul patch, just a nausea patch
michellemilliken.substack.com
February 17, 2026 at 11:04 PM
My humor post this week recalls a harrowing Salt Lake City Winter Olympics experience, which happened alongside the unmistakable dreaminess of Apolo Anton Ohno.
michellemilliken.substack.com/p/the-time-s...
michellemilliken.substack.com/p/the-time-s...
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
I had an Apolo Anton Ohno fanpage on Geocities called Soul Patch Mystique.
do you remember
before social media
when the web was an infinite mysterious forest of things people had created, for free, for other people
like you'd just stumble on this guy's Geocities page where he'd posted the sketches he'd done of every vegetable in his garden
the web made me love humanity
before social media
when the web was an infinite mysterious forest of things people had created, for free, for other people
like you'd just stumble on this guy's Geocities page where he'd posted the sketches he'd done of every vegetable in his garden
the web made me love humanity
May 16, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I had an Apolo Anton Ohno fanpage on Geocities called Soul Patch Mystique.
Monobob sounds like a sad guy from HR who has to give sexual harassment training way more than he wants to.
February 17, 2026 at 2:39 AM
Monobob sounds like a sad guy from HR who has to give sexual harassment training way more than he wants to.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Quinn Hughes Cooler Quinn Hughes
February 16, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Quinn Hughes Cooler Quinn Hughes
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Being an adult is cool because you’re exhausted all the time but you also get the satisfaction of not really accomplishing anything
February 15, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Being an adult is cool because you’re exhausted all the time but you also get the satisfaction of not really accomplishing anything
I'm not rooting for our men's team (my season ticket seatmates and I decided we're Team Finland because of Tolvanen and Kakko), but heck yes, American ladies! I feel like little Michelle watching the women's World Cup in 1999.
The Americans, whose captain Hilary Knight is leading a generation of thrilling young talent, are undefeated through six games at the Olympics — and they're outscoring their opponents 31 to 1. n.pr/4bYAbMw
The U.S. women's hockey team is dominating the Olympics. Now they will play for gold
The Americans, whose captain Hilary Knight is leading a generation of thrilling young talent, are undefeated through six games at the Olympics — and they're outscoring their opponents 31 to 1.
n.pr
February 17, 2026 at 2:32 AM
I'm not rooting for our men's team (my season ticket seatmates and I decided we're Team Finland because of Tolvanen and Kakko), but heck yes, American ladies! I feel like little Michelle watching the women's World Cup in 1999.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Downtown. Seventh Ave at Liberty Ave. Caller says there is a naked guy at the corner. Some cop said he is right there and has been watching. He’s not going to do anything, just observing. Happy belated Valentine’s Day.
February 17, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Downtown. Seventh Ave at Liberty Ave. Caller says there is a naked guy at the corner. Some cop said he is right there and has been watching. He’s not going to do anything, just observing. Happy belated Valentine’s Day.
Here's my dumb sportsletter from this past week. So many bananas it will provide your weekly potassium requirements.
Cheering bananas, banana bread, bananas middle-aged athletic ability: This past week in sports had it all, plus a bag of bananas.
sillygooseboxscores.substack.com/p/this-weeks...
sillygooseboxscores.substack.com/p/this-weeks...
This Week's Silliest Gooses in Sports, February 14
Middle-aged snowboarders, flame-throwing curlers, Canada's performance-enhancing bread
sillygooseboxscores.substack.com
February 17, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Here's my dumb sportsletter from this past week. So many bananas it will provide your weekly potassium requirements.
Important facts learned during my sports newsletter "research" last week.
In case you were wondering where Sidney Crosby stands on ABBA's "Dancing Queen"...
www.instagram.com/reel/DUqX4J-...
www.instagram.com/reel/DUqX4J-...
February 17, 2026 at 2:16 AM
Important facts learned during my sports newsletter "research" last week.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
The PNW’s most glorious dork (complimentary, I swear!) @michelleym.bsky.social is back w/Olympian Nick Baumgartner (who looks like a 1980s swingman (150 IP, 198 hits, 37 Ks). Plus, the WORST ingredient in banana bread AND had me hyperventilating at beating up kids👇🏾
open.substack.com/pub/sillygoo...
open.substack.com/pub/sillygoo...
This Week's Silliest Gooses in Sports, February 14
Middle-aged snowboarders, flame-throwing curlers, Canada's performance-enhancing bread
open.substack.com
February 15, 2026 at 5:22 PM
The PNW’s most glorious dork (complimentary, I swear!) @michelleym.bsky.social is back w/Olympian Nick Baumgartner (who looks like a 1980s swingman (150 IP, 198 hits, 37 Ks). Plus, the WORST ingredient in banana bread AND had me hyperventilating at beating up kids👇🏾
open.substack.com/pub/sillygoo...
open.substack.com/pub/sillygoo...
Happy Valentine's Day! What's your favorite sitcom romance?
February 15, 2026 at 5:30 AM
Happy Valentine's Day! What's your favorite sitcom romance?
Not to brag, but I was only, like, 4 minutes per mile off of world record pace here.
February 15, 2026 at 5:19 AM
Not to brag, but I was only, like, 4 minutes per mile off of world record pace here.
When we lived in Hawai'i, our neighborhood was on a volcano slope and super steep. My little brother decided he loved the luge one Winter Olympics, and whenever my parents weren't looking, he'd skateboard luge all the way down our street. Thank god he didn't watch the skeleton.
February 15, 2026 at 5:06 AM
When we lived in Hawai'i, our neighborhood was on a volcano slope and super steep. My little brother decided he loved the luge one Winter Olympics, and whenever my parents weren't looking, he'd skateboard luge all the way down our street. Thank god he didn't watch the skeleton.
Talking to two older ladies at the park where I met my run club.
Lady No. 1: Are you part of the race here today?
Me: No. I'm not sure what the race is, but looks like they're having fun!
Lady No. 1: I think it's a Valentine's Day thing, or as she says (points to lady no. 2) "*VD* Day."
Lady No. 1: Are you part of the race here today?
Me: No. I'm not sure what the race is, but looks like they're having fun!
Lady No. 1: I think it's a Valentine's Day thing, or as she says (points to lady no. 2) "*VD* Day."
February 15, 2026 at 1:42 AM
Talking to two older ladies at the park where I met my run club.
Lady No. 1: Are you part of the race here today?
Me: No. I'm not sure what the race is, but looks like they're having fun!
Lady No. 1: I think it's a Valentine's Day thing, or as she says (points to lady no. 2) "*VD* Day."
Lady No. 1: Are you part of the race here today?
Me: No. I'm not sure what the race is, but looks like they're having fun!
Lady No. 1: I think it's a Valentine's Day thing, or as she says (points to lady no. 2) "*VD* Day."
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Seattle Couple Plans Destination Wedding for West Seattle: tinyurl.com/rk253xne
February 15, 2026 at 12:01 AM
Seattle Couple Plans Destination Wedding for West Seattle: tinyurl.com/rk253xne
Here’s my writer Valentine for you guys…
“Girl, are you my dreams of becoming a successful writer? Because I waste so much time daydreaming about you that you’ll never be attainable.”
“Girl, are you my dreams of becoming a successful writer? Because I waste so much time daydreaming about you that you’ll never be attainable.”
February 14, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Here’s my writer Valentine for you guys…
“Girl, are you my dreams of becoming a successful writer? Because I waste so much time daydreaming about you that you’ll never be attainable.”
“Girl, are you my dreams of becoming a successful writer? Because I waste so much time daydreaming about you that you’ll never be attainable.”
These two had their first date on Friday the 13th. Fifty-ish years later, only one of their six progeny is married. The other five are too creepy.
February 14, 2026 at 7:59 AM
These two had their first date on Friday the 13th. Fifty-ish years later, only one of their six progeny is married. The other five are too creepy.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
From @theathletic.com: Kazakhstan’s Mikhail Shaidorov had the skate of his life and it wound up being worthy of gold.
His shocking victory in men's individual figure skating is only Kazakhstan’s second-ever gold medal in any Winter Olympics. trib.al/3zGAOKI
His shocking victory in men's individual figure skating is only Kazakhstan’s second-ever gold medal in any Winter Olympics. trib.al/3zGAOKI
February 13, 2026 at 10:37 PM
From @theathletic.com: Kazakhstan’s Mikhail Shaidorov had the skate of his life and it wound up being worthy of gold.
His shocking victory in men's individual figure skating is only Kazakhstan’s second-ever gold medal in any Winter Olympics. trib.al/3zGAOKI
His shocking victory in men's individual figure skating is only Kazakhstan’s second-ever gold medal in any Winter Olympics. trib.al/3zGAOKI
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Mikhail Shaidorov, an iconic braces-wearing Olympic champion
February 13, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Mikhail Shaidorov, an iconic braces-wearing Olympic champion
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Sorry, it was Willow the cat’s fault. We tried to stop her.
February 14, 2026 at 3:40 AM
Sorry, it was Willow the cat’s fault. We tried to stop her.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
(*extreme Nancy Sinatra voice*)
February 14, 2026 at 3:55 AM
(*extreme Nancy Sinatra voice*)
As someone whose parents' first date was on Friday the 13th, I consider this date far more romantic than Valentine's Day. So, on this Friday the 13th, here's an adorable love story. <3
www.npr.org/2026/02/13/n...
www.npr.org/2026/02/13/n...
Oldest living married couple shares their love story
For StoryCorps, a husband and wife, who are both more than 100 years old, talk about how they met and fell in love.
www.npr.org
February 14, 2026 at 1:22 AM
As someone whose parents' first date was on Friday the 13th, I consider this date far more romantic than Valentine's Day. So, on this Friday the 13th, here's an adorable love story. <3
www.npr.org/2026/02/13/n...
www.npr.org/2026/02/13/n...
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
My cat's new thing is to bite my hand while I'm pouring his kibble onto the plate – in STRICT defiance of that one saying!!
February 12, 2026 at 6:42 PM
My cat's new thing is to bite my hand while I'm pouring his kibble onto the plate – in STRICT defiance of that one saying!!
Just checking in with all my fellow 2002 SLC Apolo Ohno sister wives. How are we doing?
February 13, 2026 at 2:01 PM
Just checking in with all my fellow 2002 SLC Apolo Ohno sister wives. How are we doing?
That 44-year-old American snowboarder saying he’s never had so much fun losing in his life is me every single half marathon.
#WinterOlympics
#WinterOlympics
February 13, 2026 at 7:01 AM
That 44-year-old American snowboarder saying he’s never had so much fun losing in his life is me every single half marathon.
#WinterOlympics
#WinterOlympics