Emmet Ryan
@eryan0.bsky.social
UMD iSchool grad student, cybersecurity and policy nerd. Autistic. Supporter of public transit 🚉 and space exploration 🌌. Opinions are my own. He/Him
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
I did security work for a while, and, yeah, we had “guy gets bribed to walk out the door with a flash drive“ as part of many people threat models, but like, how do you model a “random guy takes a massive bet on you having a cyber incident and then hires Romanian hackers” problem
i am not even sure *how* your protect organizationally sensitive information in a world where basically anyone could try to get a prediction racket going on it and then bet on it
not just military, but, like, earnings reports, product releases, etc., etc., and i suspect there are very organizations who have adjusted their insider threat models for any of this shit
February 13, 2026 at 4:25 AM
I did security work for a while, and, yeah, we had “guy gets bribed to walk out the door with a flash drive“ as part of many people threat models, but like, how do you model a “random guy takes a massive bet on you having a cyber incident and then hires Romanian hackers” problem
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
HIS FACE
Scotland has passed a law that all new buildings must install ‘swift bricks’ which are hollowed out bricks to help nesting swifts and other endangered birds! Swifts are especially endangered because so many chimneys now have chimney caps. Swifts return to the same nesting spot year after year.
February 6, 2026 at 7:17 PM
HIS FACE
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
Forcing young people, who are less likely to drive, into scarce pockets of new density and obliterating transit options between them has a much more profound impact than parking lots.
Councillor James Pasternak says providing visitor parking is an important part of dealing with "chronic loneliness." Councillors Cheng and Holyday also brought up parking as a way to make people feel less lonely.
February 4, 2026 at 6:04 PM
Forcing young people, who are less likely to drive, into scarce pockets of new density and obliterating transit options between them has a much more profound impact than parking lots.
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
Emma Bernard, 38, had been looking forward to a classic movie marathon with friends, but found herself unable to enjoy the evening after someone (Becky) incorrectly set the volume to a stupid, wrong number and just left it like that – like a monster.
Autistic woman’s movie night ruined by volume being on odd number that’s not even a multiple of five
An autistic woman’s movie night has been wrecked by the volume being set to 21, sources have revealed. Emma Bernard, 38, had been looking forward to a classic movie marathon with friends, but found…
thedailytism.com
February 1, 2026 at 10:01 AM
Emma Bernard, 38, had been looking forward to a classic movie marathon with friends, but found herself unable to enjoy the evening after someone (Becky) incorrectly set the volume to a stupid, wrong number and just left it like that – like a monster.
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
We’re pulling out all the stops to get back to normal service! ❄️
Meet the fire snake. 🔥 🐍
Meet the fire snake. 🔥 🐍
January 27, 2026 at 10:22 PM
We’re pulling out all the stops to get back to normal service! ❄️
Meet the fire snake. 🔥 🐍
Meet the fire snake. 🔥 🐍
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
🚨 Major winter storm begins near midnight🚨
🌨️Heavy snow predawn → sleet Sunday morning → freezing rain Sunday afternoon/evening🧊
📈Worse with time; be home by 11pm🕚
⛔️Travel after 1 a.m. a very bad idea
🔌Power outages possible later Sunday
🌨️Heavy snow predawn → sleet Sunday morning → freezing rain Sunday afternoon/evening🧊
📈Worse with time; be home by 11pm🕚
⛔️Travel after 1 a.m. a very bad idea
🔌Power outages possible later Sunday
January 24, 2026 at 9:52 PM
🚨 Major winter storm begins near midnight🚨
🌨️Heavy snow predawn → sleet Sunday morning → freezing rain Sunday afternoon/evening🧊
📈Worse with time; be home by 11pm🕚
⛔️Travel after 1 a.m. a very bad idea
🔌Power outages possible later Sunday
🌨️Heavy snow predawn → sleet Sunday morning → freezing rain Sunday afternoon/evening🧊
📈Worse with time; be home by 11pm🕚
⛔️Travel after 1 a.m. a very bad idea
🔌Power outages possible later Sunday
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
i popped by the wegmans to grab a couple things and entire shelves of produce were inexplicably gone. like, what are people even *making*
January 23, 2026 at 10:05 PM
i popped by the wegmans to grab a couple things and entire shelves of produce were inexplicably gone. like, what are people even *making*
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
the woke mob is giving He-man pronouns
January 22, 2026 at 6:47 PM
the woke mob is giving He-man pronouns
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
Programming note: We are working on our first call SNOWFALL FORECAST MAP. Aiming to post it by early afternoon. Let's GO SNOW!
January 22, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Programming note: We are working on our first call SNOWFALL FORECAST MAP. Aiming to post it by early afternoon. Let's GO SNOW!
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies.
I have translated some of the highlights
I have translated some of the highlights
January 20, 2026 at 12:30 AM
In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies.
I have translated some of the highlights
I have translated some of the highlights
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
This thread is absolutely peak
@vienna_official
today we welcome his imperial highness archduke franz ferdinand to sarajevo. unity, stability, progress.
@pan_slav_posting
wild that austria thinks this is a good idea but ok
today we welcome his imperial highness archduke franz ferdinand to sarajevo. unity, stability, progress.
@pan_slav_posting
wild that austria thinks this is a good idea but ok
as a black comedy, someone should write a version of WWI leadup that has social media. Don't bother about incongruity of fitting 21st century social media tech into early 1900s. Just imagine what it would have been like
January 19, 2026 at 8:11 PM
This thread is absolutely peak
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
Humans always think they’ve covered their tracks and deleted their data, but they’re wrong a lot.
January 17, 2026 at 8:25 PM
Humans always think they’ve covered their tracks and deleted their data, but they’re wrong a lot.
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
Are you a rideshare driver (ex. Uber or Lyft) or taxi driver in the U.S.? If so, we want to hear about your experiences with personal safety for a report to Congress.
Make your voice heard & volunteer for a virtual discussion group using our quick survey: https://ow.ly/guXj50XY5tb
Make your voice heard & volunteer for a virtual discussion group using our quick survey: https://ow.ly/guXj50XY5tb
January 16, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Are you a rideshare driver (ex. Uber or Lyft) or taxi driver in the U.S.? If so, we want to hear about your experiences with personal safety for a report to Congress.
Make your voice heard & volunteer for a virtual discussion group using our quick survey: https://ow.ly/guXj50XY5tb
Make your voice heard & volunteer for a virtual discussion group using our quick survey: https://ow.ly/guXj50XY5tb
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
It’s over for y’all when I can finally decide what project to finish
Comic Archive / Resources adhd-alien.com
Comic Archive / Resources adhd-alien.com
January 15, 2026 at 7:45 PM
It’s over for y’all when I can finally decide what project to finish
Comic Archive / Resources adhd-alien.com
Comic Archive / Resources adhd-alien.com
Haven't seen a better-looking modern work loco
January 11, 2026 at 3:34 PM
Haven't seen a better-looking modern work loco
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
Lead poisoning and the most earth shattering BM of your life awaits you if you eat this
what fresh hell is this on the streets of brooklyn?
January 9, 2026 at 10:11 PM
Lead poisoning and the most earth shattering BM of your life awaits you if you eat this
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
They’re here! 🚆 Our new Metro Subway cars are officially in service. Be among the first to ride tomorrow, Friday, Jan. 9, from 10 AM–3 PM, starting at Owings Mills. Enjoy brighter lighting, larger windows, real-time digital signage, and more bike space. See you there!
January 8, 2026 at 8:18 PM
They’re here! 🚆 Our new Metro Subway cars are officially in service. Be among the first to ride tomorrow, Friday, Jan. 9, from 10 AM–3 PM, starting at Owings Mills. Enjoy brighter lighting, larger windows, real-time digital signage, and more bike space. See you there!
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
the ramifications of building affordable housing on top of libraries is:
-more affordable housing
-renovated library
-all at reduced cost to taxpayers (as housing rents subsidize the library renovation)
it’s the most obvious win-win ever so of course these left-NIMBY weirdos oppose it
-more affordable housing
-renovated library
-all at reduced cost to taxpayers (as housing rents subsidize the library renovation)
it’s the most obvious win-win ever so of course these left-NIMBY weirdos oppose it
January 7, 2026 at 4:59 AM
the ramifications of building affordable housing on top of libraries is:
-more affordable housing
-renovated library
-all at reduced cost to taxpayers (as housing rents subsidize the library renovation)
it’s the most obvious win-win ever so of course these left-NIMBY weirdos oppose it
-more affordable housing
-renovated library
-all at reduced cost to taxpayers (as housing rents subsidize the library renovation)
it’s the most obvious win-win ever so of course these left-NIMBY weirdos oppose it
Does this get me an award or something? /j
January 6, 2026 at 1:55 AM
Does this get me an award or something? /j
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
A reminder that this entire to-do started because Sky pointed out - with their relevant professional experience - that Venezuelan oil is Not Great and offers really no advantage over Canadian Tar Sands oil, and therefore, to the extent that this war *is* about oil, it's a dumb reason to go to war
January 5, 2026 at 2:39 AM
A reminder that this entire to-do started because Sky pointed out - with their relevant professional experience - that Venezuelan oil is Not Great and offers really no advantage over Canadian Tar Sands oil, and therefore, to the extent that this war *is* about oil, it's a dumb reason to go to war
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
Rough vibes on this website today, likely because people feel Hopeless and Helpless Because Can't Stop It and No One Who Is Supposed To Is Trying To So Now We're Fighting Each Other™. I recommend activities such as book, or potentially instrument if you like instrument, or even do talk on phone.
January 5, 2026 at 12:03 AM
Rough vibes on this website today, likely because people feel Hopeless and Helpless Because Can't Stop It and No One Who Is Supposed To Is Trying To So Now We're Fighting Each Other™. I recommend activities such as book, or potentially instrument if you like instrument, or even do talk on phone.
Reposted by Emmet Ryan
Y’all wanna see some fucking deranged quote tweets
January 4, 2026 at 12:14 AM
Y’all wanna see some fucking deranged quote tweets