mo
@chuuuew.bsky.social
ME: Shaken, not stirred
WAITER: I don't think that's how you make omelettes
WAITER: I don't think that's how you make omelettes
May 22, 2025 at 11:16 PM
ME: Shaken, not stirred
WAITER: I don't think that's how you make omelettes
WAITER: I don't think that's how you make omelettes
The Ring reboot looks scary as hell
April 26, 2025 at 11:55 PM
The Ring reboot looks scary as hell
Reposted by mo
A snake is just a bag of throat.
March 17, 2025 at 4:06 PM
A snake is just a bag of throat.
[not too distant future]
TEACHER: Please turn to page 400,976 of your 2025 History book
TEACHER: Please turn to page 400,976 of your 2025 History book
March 18, 2025 at 12:38 AM
[not too distant future]
TEACHER: Please turn to page 400,976 of your 2025 History book
TEACHER: Please turn to page 400,976 of your 2025 History book
Reposted by mo
You shouldn't speak ill of the dead, when there are so many living to speak ill of.
March 13, 2025 at 12:14 PM
You shouldn't speak ill of the dead, when there are so many living to speak ill of.
I like pretending "side hustles" are fun hobbies and not acknowledging the fact working a full time job doesn't pay you enough to live please buy my keyrings
March 10, 2025 at 7:26 PM
I like pretending "side hustles" are fun hobbies and not acknowledging the fact working a full time job doesn't pay you enough to live please buy my keyrings
Reposted by mo
[during sex]
Me: yeah, you like that?
Him: mmhmm yeah
Me: *stopping abruptly & pointing at his mood ring* then why is that white?
Me: yeah, you like that?
Him: mmhmm yeah
Me: *stopping abruptly & pointing at his mood ring* then why is that white?
March 10, 2025 at 10:30 AM
[during sex]
Me: yeah, you like that?
Him: mmhmm yeah
Me: *stopping abruptly & pointing at his mood ring* then why is that white?
Me: yeah, you like that?
Him: mmhmm yeah
Me: *stopping abruptly & pointing at his mood ring* then why is that white?
Reposted by mo
I put my phone in Airplane! mode and now it calls me Shirley
March 10, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I put my phone in Airplane! mode and now it calls me Shirley
Reposted by mo
[putting my arm around my son and pointing to my anxieties] Someday all this will be yours
March 10, 2025 at 4:41 PM
[putting my arm around my son and pointing to my anxieties] Someday all this will be yours
Reposted by mo
I love that milk is giving me strong bones, but I wish it’d stop leaving them on my porch
March 7, 2025 at 3:53 PM
I love that milk is giving me strong bones, but I wish it’d stop leaving them on my porch
Reposted by mo
What your post failed to consider is me, a stranger with bad opinions
March 7, 2025 at 3:34 PM
What your post failed to consider is me, a stranger with bad opinions
Reposted by mo
fingers crossed 🤞🏼
January 31, 2025 at 2:12 PM
fingers crossed 🤞🏼
Reposted by mo
i thought the bungee jumper would be safe if i tied the rope all funky. i guess knot
March 7, 2025 at 5:41 PM
i thought the bungee jumper would be safe if i tied the rope all funky. i guess knot
Reposted by mo
[the Hindenburg explodes]
Oh, the shareholders!
Oh, the shareholders!
February 27, 2025 at 8:12 PM
[the Hindenburg explodes]
Oh, the shareholders!
Oh, the shareholders!
Reposted by mo
When people talk about temperature in fahrenheit, I assume I missed the day people had to abandon the earth to live on the sun.
March 2, 2025 at 7:30 AM
When people talk about temperature in fahrenheit, I assume I missed the day people had to abandon the earth to live on the sun.
Reposted by mo
Goddammit I think I just heard the Jumanji drums.
March 5, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Goddammit I think I just heard the Jumanji drums.
ME: I'm impressed you got us court side seats
MY LAWYER: I hope they find you guilty
MY LAWYER: I hope they find you guilty
March 5, 2025 at 7:10 PM
ME: I'm impressed you got us court side seats
MY LAWYER: I hope they find you guilty
MY LAWYER: I hope they find you guilty
ME: [being rushed into hospital while having my clothes cut off] Am I gonna be OK??
HIM: I have no idea, this is just a butt ugly outfit
HIM: I have no idea, this is just a butt ugly outfit
March 5, 2025 at 6:44 PM
ME: [being rushed into hospital while having my clothes cut off] Am I gonna be OK??
HIM: I have no idea, this is just a butt ugly outfit
HIM: I have no idea, this is just a butt ugly outfit
Life hack: Avoid the tears when cutting onions by turning off the news
March 5, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Life hack: Avoid the tears when cutting onions by turning off the news
Trying to save the planet by swapping my plastic surgeon for a paper one
February 23, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Trying to save the planet by swapping my plastic surgeon for a paper one
On Krypton the Super Bowl is just called The Bowl
February 9, 2025 at 11:58 PM
On Krypton the Super Bowl is just called The Bowl
[creating a clone of Beyoncé] lmao Beytwicé
February 2, 2025 at 12:54 PM
[creating a clone of Beyoncé] lmao Beytwicé
I always hated team building events until I started working at Lego
February 2, 2025 at 12:53 AM
I always hated team building events until I started working at Lego
[feeding a fox with a slingshot] Heyyy little buddy can I have your slingshot?
January 24, 2025 at 10:36 PM
[feeding a fox with a slingshot] Heyyy little buddy can I have your slingshot?
Eating my midnight snacks at 11pm so I don't cheat on my diet
January 23, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Eating my midnight snacks at 11pm so I don't cheat on my diet