Seamus
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chutleynuttocks.bsky.social
Seamus
@chutleynuttocks.bsky.social
Mostly sober
Sheep in the carpark.
November 18, 2025 at 2:45 PM
My dad once did a mime of a blind man washing an elephant (in front of 80 people).
November 12, 2025 at 3:34 PM
I wouldn't like to be a bird.
Flying along on a windy day and suddenly... *rain face*
October 31, 2025 at 1:32 PM
I am at work.
October 31, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Reposted by Seamus
October 28, 2025 at 12:03 PM
I had a mate who looked a lot like Beryl Reid.
October 27, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Reposted by Seamus
Residents of Dolgellau give thanks to the Gods as the clocks on their microwaves, car radios, ovens and VHS players all tell the correct time for the first time in 6 months.
October 26, 2025 at 7:02 PM
I'm sorry I snapped all the spaghetti, it was crunchy and made me feel strong.
October 22, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Reposted by Seamus
October 19, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Reposted by Seamus
One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five to speak to customer services,
Six to return to the main menu,
Seven to hear those options again
November 25, 2024 at 5:12 PM
Reposted by Seamus
And this painting is *also* now on display, and on sale, at The Yard Gallery in Sheffield. You can go in and look and buy it and everything. Hours of fun.
Good morning. Here's a new painting called:
'Well, well, well, if it isn't the universe'
October 11, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Reposted by Seamus
If you would like to know a bit more about my art, my website is the best place to start:

www.paulgarrard.com
Paul Garrard
Paul Garrard multimedia artist
www.paulgarrard.com
October 26, 2024 at 4:49 PM
Reposted by Seamus
Bollocks, I Shrunk the Kids
October 5, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Bollocks to the Future.
Bollocks, I Shrunk the Kids
October 5, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Reposted by Seamus
[campfire story]
"—then HE said…"
*everybody leans forward*
"Gary, you leaned too far, your moustache's on fire"
Everybody: huh?
Gary: ARGH!
October 4, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Much wind here.

Pardon me.
October 3, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Reposted by Seamus
[First day as a taxi driver]
Base on radio: “What’s your ETA?”

Me, stammers: “Erm, an egg and cress sandwich and a bag of cheese and onion crisps, B”
October 2, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Reposted by Seamus
Large omelette for lunch. Practically an omel.
October 2, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Reposted by Seamus
It's all Dada (2025)
The art of Paul Garrard
www.paulgarrard.xyz
October 2, 2025 at 7:47 AM
I like cats.
September 29, 2025 at 8:49 PM
fat jesus
September 26, 2025 at 12:03 PM
Reposted by Seamus
Nigel Farage would definitely eat a swan. But only the right wing.
September 25, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Reposted by Seamus
September 25, 2025 at 6:40 AM
How would Donny Tramp behave on the Titanic?
September 24, 2025 at 7:30 PM