Simon
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broomwagon.bsky.social
Simon
@broomwagon.bsky.social
Dad, dog owner, cycling, football and coffee nerd. Appeared on a regional TV quiz show in 1987, so basically an A lister.
My motto: always give 100%. Unless you are giving blood.
Bin day is Thursdays.
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We gotta get people back into reading the whole story
This is a real flight school, teaching people to fly planes!!! Like????
November 14, 2025 at 1:26 PM
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Oh the Grand old Duke of [redacted]
He had [redacted] [redacted]
He [redacted] up [redacted] [redacted]
And he [redacted] [redacted] again

#ModerniseANurseryRhyme
November 14, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Amateur! I have ended 11 wars in the last 8 months and if I manage to get a couple more whatsapps sent before I pick the kids up from school I will be up to 12 global wars ended.
I am NOT prepared to pander to the naysayers and name the wars I have sorted because that is just pandering to them.
Mike Johnson: "The president has ended 8 wars around the globe. All that in 9 months!"
November 14, 2025 at 1:28 PM
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At the
November 14, 2025 at 7:39 AM
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Please avoid anything news-adjacent this morning and look at these nice sheep, instead. You will be happier for it.
THREAD. A collection of photographs of excellent sheep I have met on walks.

You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.
November 14, 2025 at 1:10 PM
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Game's gone etc. etc.
Border wars: a football match in 1599 between men of Bewcastle, England, and Armstrongs of Whithaugh, Scotland, was followed by ‘drynkyng hard’. Final score was two dead, 30 taken prisoner ‘and many sore hurt, especially John Whytfeild, whose bowells came out, but are sowed up againe’.
November 14, 2025 at 9:35 AM
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I’m sorry I just found out that in 1379, as in, 650 years ago, a baby girl was born in Yorkshire and named Diot Coke

history is a fucking joke lmao
November 13, 2025 at 10:50 PM
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Who called it a monastery and not monkey business
November 14, 2025 at 9:20 AM
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I need the most Canadian story you have.

No that's too Canadian.
When a man hijacked a bus in Hamilton, Ontario, on Tuesday, the potentially catastrophic scenario ended happily. It turns out he was a pretty decent bus driver. He made regular stops to pick up passengers, the police reported. At one point someone tried to board with an expired bus pass. No dice.
A Man Took a Bus for a Joyride. Turns Out, He’s Not a Bad Driver.
The incident in Hamilton, Ontario, ended safely with an arrest and no injuries (and all fares paid).
nyti.ms
November 13, 2025 at 4:51 PM
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November 13, 2025 at 4:24 PM
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The next time Marlon Brando went back to Paris, I suppose he just had a Fanta or an Orangina instead.
November 13, 2025 at 1:25 PM
training with the men's team? *cries gently, rocks back and forth*
November 13, 2025 at 9:46 AM
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Happy Fenton Day to all who celebrate. Jesus Christ, fourteen years.

youtu.be/3GRSbr0EYYU
JESUS CHRIST IN RICHMOND PARK: ORIGINAL UPLOAD
YouTube video by JAGGL113
youtu.be
November 13, 2025 at 8:43 AM
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Place de l'Étoile deserted during COVID 🚲 📸 🌵
#bikesky #photography #bicycle #bike #paris #streetstyle #fun #cycling #cyclinglife #bikelife #biking #bicicleta #velo #cycle 🚴‍♂️🚴‍♀️🚵‍♂️ 🚵‍♀️
November 12, 2025 at 3:53 PM
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Well, this is awkward.
A direct email exchange from 2011 between Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, just released by House Oversight Committee Democrats.
November 12, 2025 at 4:07 PM
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Someone read one of my books and said to me, "Fucking hell, how did you manage to keep ALL THAT in your head?" I told them it's actually extremely simple and anyone can do it. You just need to forget everything else important in your life and totally stop functioning as a human for a year or so.
November 12, 2025 at 8:16 AM
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"Hi, this is room 213. I'd like a wake up call"
"Certainly, sir. You're in your 40s and have achieved nothing in life"
"Tha...wait. What?"
November 12, 2025 at 11:07 AM
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It’s the ten year anniversary of this tweet. I’ve honestly never got over it. It’s the look on his face while being told off. All for a joke that didn’t quite go as planned. We’ve all been there
November 12, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I think our front room is painted in Farrow and Ball's Nordic Pagan.
Hegseth: "We don't need to be a military of beardos anymore. Do you know how many troops claim to be Nordic Pagan? No, suddenly it's become this real fake religious affiliation inside the Pentagon where troops came to be Nordic Pagan so they can grow a beard and nobody challenges them on it."
November 12, 2025 at 2:56 PM
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This reply was my favorite
November 12, 2025 at 8:48 AM
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I can never forget this classic:
November 12, 2025 at 5:51 AM
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"Keir, I'm sorry I've written your name down, I hope I'm wrong"
November 12, 2025 at 9:23 AM
Teenage Bond. He spends his time saying to M that everything is SO UNFAIR, reminding Q that he never asked to be born and is only prepared to prevent world domination by the evil network if he can do it in the afternoons because he needs to wake up at the crack of noon.
James Bond’s death in No Time to Die is causing a nightmare for the next film. Writers are stuck because Bond “was blown to pieces.”

Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:

“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."

radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
November 11, 2025 at 11:14 AM
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Love being reminded to do this every year. It's a win/win all round
November 11, 2025 at 11:00 AM
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Without the BBC we wouldn't have this. Protect it at all costs
Mr Blobby meets The Chuckle Brothers
November 10, 2025 at 10:27 PM