Allison Hantschel
@allisonhantschel.com
Media for DAME magazine. She/her. Co-founder, First-Draft.com. Alumna of The Daily Cardinal.
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
no that’s a common mistake. “heritage American” is a category of wine that includes the brand Josh
For those not following at home, “Heritage American” is a category of white supremacy covering people whose ancestors were white folks who were pioneers.
December 26, 2025 at 11:22 PM
no that’s a common mistake. “heritage American” is a category of wine that includes the brand Josh
Not everything sucks.
Freaking love this city and all the people in it so much….a bunch of people went and turned the 4 train into the Polar Express giving out toys to kids along the way from the Bronx to Brooklyn….shoutout to the @newyorkers.live account on IG for doing this 🙏 www.instagram.com/reel/DSnsvWS...
December 26, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Not everything sucks.
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 4:43 PM
12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”
Does anybody know someone who has a machine to heat up tar in? And like a shitload of feathers?
I remember the phrase "they can't be allowed to melt back into society" re: the de-Baathification of Iraq after the war there. Like everything about that experience, the attempt was cynical, stupid, and botched. But there really should be a plan about what we do with guys like these in the future.
ICE detain father shopping on Christmas Eve—then steal his family's groceries.
Then 3 agents divvy up his paid for food—taking what they want for themselves.
"Can I just get the wife's number to call and let her know?" woman asks.
"No, guess he should've complied," agent says.
Yakima, Washington
Then 3 agents divvy up his paid for food—taking what they want for themselves.
"Can I just get the wife's number to call and let her know?" woman asks.
"No, guess he should've complied," agent says.
Yakima, Washington
December 26, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Does anybody know someone who has a machine to heat up tar in? And like a shitload of feathers?
Told the Christmas dinner table that dessert was gay now, re: that dumbass post last week, and Dad was like, "guess I'm into dudes now, is there a sign-up sheet or what."
December 26, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Told the Christmas dinner table that dessert was gay now, re: that dumbass post last week, and Dad was like, "guess I'm into dudes now, is there a sign-up sheet or what."
A friend was walking down the street and these dudes drove up on him in their car and yelled "hey f----t" and without a second's delay he spun around and said, "Yeah? You shopping?"
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 4:53 AM
A friend was walking down the street and these dudes drove up on him in their car and yelled "hey f----t" and without a second's delay he spun around and said, "Yeah? You shopping?"
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals
December 26, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
I was born in April 1805
Napoleon was master of Europe
Only the BRITISH FLEET stood before him
Oceans were now battlefields
Napoleon was master of Europe
Only the BRITISH FLEET stood before him
Oceans were now battlefields
December 24, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I was born in April 1805
Napoleon was master of Europe
Only the BRITISH FLEET stood before him
Oceans were now battlefields
Napoleon was master of Europe
Only the BRITISH FLEET stood before him
Oceans were now battlefields
Spent the day on the couch with a kid recovering from a stomach bug, binging Christmas movies interspersed with wildly inappropriate content and wound up explaining the Juggalo Christian conversion which tbh was harder to parse than The Nativity Story.
December 25, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Spent the day on the couch with a kid recovering from a stomach bug, binging Christmas movies interspersed with wildly inappropriate content and wound up explaining the Juggalo Christian conversion which tbh was harder to parse than The Nativity Story.
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
Changing this label would have required finding someone who understands FORTRAN at a level that NORAD could not afford.
December 25, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Changing this label would have required finding someone who understands FORTRAN at a level that NORAD could not afford.
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
All sorts of weird folklore gets rolled out on Christmas Eve. Animals speak, house hobs demand apple brandy. It's the one night when the winged dogs that climb and perch in churches can change positions. Magics and strangeness always seems thick today. – Nancy Appleyard #VOH
December 24, 2025 at 12:47 PM
All sorts of weird folklore gets rolled out on Christmas Eve. Animals speak, house hobs demand apple brandy. It's the one night when the winged dogs that climb and perch in churches can change positions. Magics and strangeness always seems thick today. – Nancy Appleyard #VOH
As a society we're very bad at describing intimacy that isn't romantic or sexual. That you can have a tremendous depth of loyalty and love for someone and not want to fuck them, that you can be entangled with someone but not romantically ... there aren't enough stories about this.
But that should extend to adult life too. Spending time with adult women for platonic reasons and to enjoy things together shouldn’t be aberrant, neither should pursuing female coded things for fun or work. And heteronormative marriage should not preclude any of that btw.
December 23, 2025 at 11:52 PM
As a society we're very bad at describing intimacy that isn't romantic or sexual. That you can have a tremendous depth of loyalty and love for someone and not want to fuck them, that you can be entangled with someone but not romantically ... there aren't enough stories about this.
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
Henceforth this shall be known as the Shut the Fuck Up About Chicago decision.
@harebrained.bsky.social
@harebrained.bsky.social
#BREAKING The U.S. Supreme Court has sided with the State of Illinois on National Guard deployment.
Under the law invoked by President Trump, he must be unable "with the regular military" to "execute the laws of the United States," it finds.
Full ruling here: cst.brightspotcdn.com/80/88/05a75e...
Under the law invoked by President Trump, he must be unable "with the regular military" to "execute the laws of the United States," it finds.
Full ruling here: cst.brightspotcdn.com/80/88/05a75e...
![SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES
_________________
No. 25A443 _________________
DONALD J. TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, ET AL. v. ILLINOIS, ET AL.
ON APPLICATION FOR STAY [December 23, 2025]
Federal immigration-enforcement efforts have encoun- tered significant resistance, as well as some violence, in Chicago. According to the Government, federal officers have been obstructed, threatened, and assaulted as they at- tempt to perform their duties. The Government also alleges that an Immigration and Customs Enforcement processing facility in Broadview, Illinois, has been the site of frequent and sometimes violent protests, damaging federal property and threatening the safety of federal officers. These at- tacks, the Government says, have greatly impeded its ef- forts to enforce the immigration laws.
On October 4, 2025, the President called 300 members of the Illinois National Guard into active federal service to protect federal personnel and property in Illinois, particu- larly in and around Chicago. The following day, members of the Texas National Guard were also federalized and sent to Chicago. In calling forth the Guard, the President relied on 10 U. S. C. §12406(3), which empowers him to federalize members of the Guard if he is “unable with the regular forces to execute the laws of the United States.”
The United States District Court for the Northern Dis- trict of Illinois entered a temporary restraining order bar- ring the federalization and deployment of the Guard in Illi- nois. The Seventh Circuit denied in relevant part the Government’s motion for a stay, permitting the Guard to](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:elipdmmf5istuvtyituspske/bafkreigkgum5sfni47efippr7j6ykofa7anuo6cqpkfjztkzkfnvubdafe@jpeg)
![remain federalized within Illinois but maintaining the bar on deployment.
The Government asked this Court to stay the District Court’s order. After the response and reply were filed, JUSTICE BARRETT referred the application to the Court. We directed the parties to file supplemental letter briefs on an issue that the District Court had addressed but the parties’ initial briefs had not: the meaning of the term “regular forces” in §12406(3). In its supplemental brief, the Govern- ment argues that the term refers to civilian law enforce- ment officers, such as those employed by Immigration and Customs Enforcement or the Federal Protective Service. Respondents, echoing the District Court, maintain that the term refers to the regular forces of the United States mili- tary.
We conclude that the term “regular forces” in §12406(3) likely refers to the regular forces of the United States mili- tary. This interpretation means that to call the Guard into active federal service under §12406(3), the President must be “unable” with the regular military “to execute the laws of the United States.” Because the statute requires an assess- ment of the military’s ability to execute the laws, it likely applies only where the military could legally execute the laws. Such circumstances are exceptional: Under the Posse Comitatus Act, the military is prohibited from “execut[ing] the laws” “except in cases and under circumstances ex- pressly authorized by the Constitution or Act of Congress.” 18 U. S. C. §1385. So before the President can federalize the Guard under §12406(3), he likely must have statutory or constitutional authority to execute the laws with the reg- ular military and must be “unable” with those forces to per- form that function.
At this preliminary stage, the Government has failed to identify a source of authority that would allow the military to execute the laws in Illinois. The President has not in- voked a statute that provides an exception to the Posse](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:elipdmmf5istuvtyituspske/bafkreico7h4hdwfyr6byznbn2d7y2wuhraae6jhvupnyew5s7kwjegnpva@jpeg)
![Comitatus Act. Instead, he relies on inherent constitu- tional authority that, according to the Government, allows him to use the military to protect federal personnel and property. But the Government also claims—consistent with the longstanding view of the Executive Branch—that performing such protective functions does not constitute “execut[ing] the laws” within the meaning of the Posse Comitatus Act. See Supp. Letter Reply Brief for Applicants 8; 1 Supp. Op. OLC 343, n. 1 (1971) (collecting sources). If that is correct, it is hard to see how performing those func- tions could constitute “execut[ing] the laws” under §12406(3). See Azar v. Allina Health Services, 587 U. S. 566, 574 (2019) (“This Court does not lightly assume that Congress silently attaches different meanings to the same term in the same or related statutes”). Thus, at least in this posture, the Government has not carried its burden to show that §12406(3) permits the President to federalize the Guard in the exercise of inherent authority to protect fed- eral personnel and property in Illinois. We need not and do not address the reviewability of findings made by the Pres- ident under §12406(3) or any other statute.
The application for stay is denied.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:elipdmmf5istuvtyituspske/bafkreigpypa435od2mqkxeftymwgbg2uepclp6razy2u5gc3efakb7v2kq@jpeg)
December 23, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Henceforth this shall be known as the Shut the Fuck Up About Chicago decision.
@harebrained.bsky.social
@harebrained.bsky.social
Maybe I should have said more like 6 months.
I give Bari a year, tops. She's gonna hate actually working, and running a large organization isn't nearly as fun as pwning the libs online.
December 23, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Maybe I should have said more like 6 months.
Hahahaha suck it.
Breaking: Marion County agrees to pay out $3M for newspaper raid, express regret kansasreflector.com/2025/11/11/m...
Marion County agrees to pay out $3M for newspaper raid, express regret • Kansas Reflector
A handful of county-level officials who were involved in a small-town Kansas newspaper raid in 2023 will pay a cumulative $3 million to three journalists and a city councilor.
kansasreflector.com
December 23, 2025 at 4:24 AM
Hahahaha suck it.
"No comment" is a comment, and the admin knows that because they're not stupid, and Bari may or may not know that, because she is, but they're all counting on Americans not knowing it.
Getting a comment from an administration official is not a requirement to run a story and never has been.
One explanation for Bari killing the story is that she did so as a public act of fealty to the administration. But another is that, as an inexperienced journalist, she doesn’t understand that a refusal to go on the record is a kind of comment in and of itself
December 23, 2025 at 12:20 AM
"No comment" is a comment, and the admin knows that because they're not stupid, and Bari may or may not know that, because she is, but they're all counting on Americans not knowing it.
When you write this shit down do you also feel like you're having a stroke?
President Trump will announce on Monday a new type of large warship he is calling “battleships,” marking a step toward achieving the president’s vision for a new “Golden Fleet.”
Trump To Announce Navy Will Buy New ‘Battleship’
The new warship will be the latest in what the White House envisions as a “Golden Fleet.”
on.wsj.com
December 22, 2025 at 9:34 PM
When you write this shit down do you also feel like you're having a stroke?
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
i say this with nothing but love for all of you to whom this applies, but the moral rot in elite journalism is because journalism is a trade and it should be done by tradespeople and instead it's been professionalized in a way that makes it cozy to capital instead
December 22, 2025 at 7:45 PM
i say this with nothing but love for all of you to whom this applies, but the moral rot in elite journalism is because journalism is a trade and it should be done by tradespeople and instead it's been professionalized in a way that makes it cozy to capital instead
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
This is Sharyn Alfonsi's resume from the @cbsnews.com website. Read through this incredible 30+ year body of work by the 60 Minutes correspondent now being told her CECOT piece doesn't meet Bari Weiss' standards. Then scroll down to see how Weiss measures up against this. (hint: she doesn't) 1/
December 22, 2025 at 7:29 PM
This is Sharyn Alfonsi's resume from the @cbsnews.com website. Read through this incredible 30+ year body of work by the 60 Minutes correspondent now being told her CECOT piece doesn't meet Bari Weiss' standards. Then scroll down to see how Weiss measures up against this. (hint: she doesn't) 1/
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
I think many people know him as that cheerful guy on NPR. But this paragraph written as Hurricane Katrina made landfall is the essence of Jonah Goldberg.
December 22, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I think many people know him as that cheerful guy on NPR. But this paragraph written as Hurricane Katrina made landfall is the essence of Jonah Goldberg.
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
I always appreciate a documentary about a crime that takes the time to emphasize what scum sucking bottom feeders the tRuE cRiMe cOmMuNiTy is.
December 22, 2025 at 2:07 AM
I always appreciate a documentary about a crime that takes the time to emphasize what scum sucking bottom feeders the tRuE cRiMe cOmMuNiTy is.
Fuck. Me.
December 21, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Fuck. Me.
What a goat rodeo.
December 21, 2025 at 4:29 AM
What a goat rodeo.
I love our backup quarterback and our weird lollipop head receiver and all the second stringers out there doing it right now.
December 21, 2025 at 3:26 AM
I love our backup quarterback and our weird lollipop head receiver and all the second stringers out there doing it right now.
Reposted by Allison Hantschel
it is almost Christmas which means it’s Muppet Christmas Carol season and that, in turn, means it is time to revisit this delightful interview with Michael Caine, who loves everything about that movie even more than you do
Michael Caine Loves 'The Muppet Christmas Carol' as Much as You Do
God bless us, every one! But especially Michael Caine.
www.gq.com
December 20, 2025 at 5:31 PM
it is almost Christmas which means it’s Muppet Christmas Carol season and that, in turn, means it is time to revisit this delightful interview with Michael Caine, who loves everything about that movie even more than you do