James Aspnes

@aspnes.bsky.social

11 followers 33 following 0 posts

https://cs.yale.edu/homes/aspnes/

Videos

Computer science 94%

Biology 3%

Posts Replies Media Videos

Reposted by James Aspnes

dyatlov piss incident @bizzo.bsky.social · Feb 20

fortran favors the old

Reposted by Mark E. Schaffer, James Aspnes

Your Internet Friend Tom Tomorrow @tomtomorrow.bsky.social · Feb 19

This is just to say

I have fired
the bureaucrats
throughout
your government

Even the ones
that were probably
keeping planes
in the air

Forgive me
I am not very smart
So efficiency
Much savings

Reposted by James Aspnes

Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · Feb 17

And ye maye aske yowerself, 'How do Ich werke thys?'
And ye maye aske yowerself, 'Wher ys that large destrier?'
And ye maye tell yowerself, 'Thys nys nat my fayre castel!'
And ye maye tell yowerself, 'Thys nys nat my swift goshawk!'

Reposted by James Aspnes

Tiny Petting Zoo @tinypettingzoo.bsky.social · Feb 15

╪═╪═╪═╪═╪═╪═╪═╪
　　　　　　　　　
　 🐄　🐏　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　🐄　　
　　　　　 🐏　　　
╪═╪═╪═╪═╪═╪═╪═╪

Reposted by James Aspnes

Zach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · Feb 14

Cute 19th century story

Reposted by James Aspnes

Micro SF/F by O. Westin @microsff.com · Feb 9

"Hey, PS17, grandad mentioned a game called 'Bubble Bobble'. Can you run that?"

The PlayStation thought. "No, but I can emulate an earlier platform, that can emulate an earlier platform, that can emulate-"

"How many layers of emulation will you have to run?"

"Twelve."

"I hope it's worth it."

Reposted by James Aspnes

Micro SF/F by O. Westin @microsff.com · Jan 30

Once a year, the swordmaster saw students seeking advice on other weapons. At the end of the long line of people holding axes, spears, and tools, a girl stood, her hands empty.
"What is your weapon?"
"Anger. Anger and spite."
The swordmaster smiled. "Finally, an advanced pupil!"
#CrossRepost

Reposted by James Aspnes

Zach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · Jan 26

Bonus panel here: smbc-comics.com/comic/questi...

Reposted by James Aspnes

Mika Walker Kane @mwalkerkane.bsky.social · Jan 26

"Don't feel guilt over your past atrocities" is actually a common Roman salutation.

Reposted by James Aspnes

Tom Gauld @tomgauld.bsky.social · Jan 19

My latest cartoon for @newscientist.bsky.social

Images:
A cow wearing a lab coat stands next to a table displaying various clumsy looking devices and electronics.

Caption
“Our programme of genetic engineering and bovine education has shown impressive results, but in all areas, cow science and technology still lag significantly behind human equivalents.”

Note: the cartoon is a homage to Gary Larson’s Far Side cartoon “Cow tools”.

Reposted by James Aspnes

bigtimefun.bsky.social @bigtimefun.bsky.social · Jan 16

What's the statute of limitations on a diss? I may want to sue a grade school bully for saying that my Mama's so ugly she went to a haunted house and came out with a paycheck

Reposted by James Aspnes

Mateusz Fafinski @calthalas.bsky.social · Jan 16

I have taken
the resources
that were in
the budget

and which
you were probably
saving
for higher education

Forgive me
they were needed
to feed the AI bubble
and to dismantle the humanities

Reposted by James Aspnes

Kevin Parry @kevinbparry.bsky.social · Jan 10

Chair Stop-Motion 🪑💨 Made with 444 pictures taken over 10 days

Reposted by James Aspnes

Dr. Lucky Tran @luckytran.com · Jan 9

The wind gusts are devastating. Truly a hurricane of fire.

Video: @stuartpalley.bsky.social

Reposted by James Aspnes

Materialist Gnostic @walmsley.bsky.social · Jan 8

the world, long under a single hegemon, must engage in multipolar warfare. long engaged in multipolar warfare, must be put under a single hegemon.

Reposted by James Aspnes

Jeff Steck @jefstec.bsky.social · Jan 6

A combination travel pillow and child endangerment device.
US Patent 12178329

Patent drawing of a toddler sitting on top of a vertical rolling suitcase, barely held in place by a travel pillow converted to use as a back support. It is evident that the slightest wiggle will send the child headlong onto the airport floor.

Reposted by James Aspnes

Warren @warren.nyc · Jan 5

Someone explain this one to me.

From a NY Times story on congestion pricing:

Some New Yorkers were already devising workarounds to avoid
paying the new tolls. Cynthia Jones, who lives on the Upper West Side, was taking an exercise class at the studio. Her husband had dropped her off at 61st Street, one block north of the tolling zone. "I walked the rest of the way here," she said.

Reposted by Peter Norman, James Aspnes

alexandra @bigmoodenergy.bsky.social · Dec 28

here come old laptop
he come
bootin up slowly
he got
broken touchpad
he need
one more update
he got
no space
on this pc

one thing i can tell you
its got no warranty

Reposted by James Aspnes

Jenny Staff Johnson @htownjenny.bsky.social · Dec 23

I want to believe it, shopping mall parking ticket dispenser, I really do, but it gets harder every year.

The display screen on a machine that dispenses parking tickets. It says please pay displayed amount: $15, and below that it says change is possible.

Reposted by James Aspnes

Paul Fairie @paulisci.bsky.social · Dec 21

Headline of the Year contest starts tomorrow.

Here are the winners from previous contests:

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR WINNERS, 2018-2023

2018 PLUMAGE A TROIS Thomas the blind bisexual goose who was stuck in a two-decade long love triangle with two swans dies aged 40
2019 Penguins ignore police, return to sushi shop
2020 Hospital angrily denies snake discovered in operating theatre, insisting there was only a monkey
2021 When an Eel Climbs a Ramp to Eat Squid From a Clamp, That's a Moray
2022 The City of Ottawa wants to hear your garbage opinions
2023 British Museum asks public and experts to help recover stolen artefacts

Reposted by James Aspnes

Will Quinn @willquinnart.bsky.social · Dec 18

Daily bunny no.2807 is giving out free samples

At a small concession stand at the beach, a bunny tosses french fries to some eager seagulls. His boss, wearing a paper soda jerk hat, looks on disapprovingly. It is a beautiful summer day.

Reposted by James Aspnes

Allen James @lalenjames.bsky.social · Dec 16

Not even the greatest philosophers could contemplate this...

Reposted by James Aspnes

Jeff Steck @jefstec.bsky.social · Dec 13

A car that gives you Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as you drive.
US Patent 12162498 (Nissan)

Patent flow chart with the car saying "Let's think about your problem together. Have you ever dealt with this before or something similar before?," which the flow chart says is to encourage "Glass Half Full Thinking" from cognitive behavioral therapy.

Reposted by James Aspnes

Vincent Ledvina @vincentledvina.bsky.social · Dec 11

This is probably my favorite aurora photo I’ve taken all season…

Reposted by James Aspnes

Hildur Knútsdóttir @hildur.bsky.social · Dec 9

I could not tell you how often I have done readings with male writers who go way over the allotted time limit, biting into other people's reading time or making the event last way longer than it was supposed to.

But the worst ones are the ones who go: "I'll just read until someone stops me."

Kendra Albert @kendraserra.bsky.social · Dec 9

Ending on time is a feminist act.

Claudia (they/she) @claudiaeberger.bsky.social · Dec 9

This came up at a conference I was at on Friday, and I was curious if other think about this similarly.

I view keeping to my assigned time in presentations as an embodiment of my feminist values at work. There is a set amount of total time and going over takes time away from ~someone~ else.

Reposted by James Aspnes

Adrian Carrasquillo @adriancarrasquillo.bsky.social · Nov 28

On this Thanksgiving I am reminded of this first shared by Latino Rebels 12 years ago

It holds particular resonance as we barrel towards an uncertain future of a policy of mass deportation pushed by Trump

Time will tell how much Americans are confronted w/ the reality of what immigration provides

Reposted by James Aspnes

Cheryl Rofer @cherylrofer.bsky.social · Nov 28

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!

Poster saying

Happy Thanksgiving!
Enjoy your roasted dinosaurs.

Drawing of a Tyrannosaurus Rex with a pilgrim hat and turkey wattle, tail and feathery forelimbs.

Reposted by James Aspnes

Sophie EG @egsophie.bsky.social · Nov 25

Bluesky, go follow my mom @baratellman.bsky.social

Reposted by James Aspnes

Ken Shirriff @righto.com · Nov 25

I recently saw an amazing Navajo rug at the National Gallery of Art. It looks abstract at first, but it is a detailed representation of the Intel Pentium processor. Called "Replica of a Chip", it was created in 1994 by Marilou Schultz, a Navajo/Diné weaver and math teacher. 1/n

A Navajo rug with a complex pattern with muted reds, pinks and blues. The pattern consists of various vertical and horizontal rectangles with stripes. Around the border are small alternating black and colored rectangles. The weaving is mounted in a wooden frame and hanging on the museum wall.

Reposted by James Aspnes

Will Quinn @willquinnart.bsky.social · Nov 21

Daily bunny no.2780 tests his new invention

In the paleolithic age, on a snowy tundra, a cavebunny holds out a primitive cat toy to a large saber-toothed tiger. The saber-toothed tiger sniffs the toy, and two other cavebunnies stand behind the first bunny with spears, eyeing the fearsome cat warily. There is also a little kitten hidden behind the fully-grown saber-toothed tiger.

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