James Aspnes
aspnes.bsky.social
James Aspnes
@aspnes.bsky.social
Reposted by James Aspnes
February 27, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
And ye maye aske yowerself, 'How do Ich werke thys?'
And ye maye aske yowerself, 'Wher ys that large destrier?'
And ye maye tell yowerself, 'Thys nys nat my fayre castel!'
And ye maye tell yowerself, 'Thys nys nat my swift goshawk!'
February 17, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
fortran favors the old
February 20, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
This is just to say

I have fired
the bureaucrats
throughout
your government

Even the ones
that were probably
keeping planes
in the air

Forgive me
I am not very smart
So efficiency
Much savings
February 19, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
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February 15, 2025 at 7:51 AM
Reposted by James Aspnes
Cute 19th century story
February 14, 2025 at 10:53 AM
Reposted by James Aspnes
February 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
"Hey, PS17, grandad mentioned a game called 'Bubble Bobble'. Can you run that?"

The PlayStation thought. "No, but I can emulate an earlier platform, that can emulate an earlier platform, that can emulate-"

"How many layers of emulation will you have to run?"

"Twelve."

"I hope it's worth it."
February 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
Once a year, the swordmaster saw students seeking advice on other weapons. At the end of the long line of people holding axes, spears, and tools, a girl stood, her hands empty.
"What is your weapon?"
"Anger. Anger and spite."
The swordmaster smiled. "Finally, an advanced pupil!"
#CrossRepost
January 30, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
January 26, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
"Don't feel guilt over your past atrocities" is actually a common Roman salutation.
January 26, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Reposted by James Aspnes
My latest cartoon for @newscientist.bsky.social
January 19, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
What's the statute of limitations on a diss? I may want to sue a grade school bully for saying that my Mama's so ugly she went to a haunted house and came out with a paycheck
January 16, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
I have taken
the resources
that were in
the budget

and which
you were probably
saving
for higher education

Forgive me
they were needed
to feed the AI bubble
and to dismantle the humanities
January 16, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
Chair Stop-Motion 🪑💨 Made with 444 pictures taken over 10 days
January 10, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
The wind gusts are devastating. Truly a hurricane of fire.

Video: @stuartpalley.bsky.social
January 9, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Reposted by James Aspnes
the world, long under a single hegemon, must engage in multipolar warfare. long engaged in multipolar warfare, must be put under a single hegemon.
January 8, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
A combination travel pillow and child endangerment device.
US Patent 12178329
January 6, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
Someone explain this one to me.
January 5, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
here come old laptop
he come
bootin up slowly
he got
broken touchpad
he need
one more update
he got
no space
on this pc

one thing i can tell you
its got no warranty
December 28, 2024 at 2:24 AM
Reposted by James Aspnes
I want to believe it, shopping mall parking ticket dispenser, I really do, but it gets harder every year.
December 23, 2024 at 10:22 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
Headline of the Year contest starts tomorrow.

Here are the winners from previous contests:
December 21, 2024 at 6:36 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
December 19, 2024 at 9:08 PM
Reposted by James Aspnes
A car that gives you Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as you drive.
US Patent 12162498 (Nissan)
December 13, 2024 at 2:30 PM