Toast
@toast-toasty-tote.bsky.social
I'm that guy from that place... 42 years of excellence. I break stuff.
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No Granny. Getting a fist bump from Grandpa does not mean he pounded you hard.
December 24, 2025 at 3:23 AM
No Granny. Getting a fist bump from Grandpa does not mean he pounded you hard.
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Merry Christmas everyone except the rapist president and his pedophile cover up team
December 24, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Merry Christmas everyone except the rapist president and his pedophile cover up team
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They don't. Some vote for other rapists, though. Don't do that.
December 24, 2025 at 7:40 PM
They don't. Some vote for other rapists, though. Don't do that.
“You should eat only six fries per serving.” What’s next? Telling us something psycho like eating an entire pizza doesn’t count as one serving?
December 7, 2025 at 1:40 AM
“You should eat only six fries per serving.” What’s next? Telling us something psycho like eating an entire pizza doesn’t count as one serving?
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Mortal Kombat and chill?
December 6, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Mortal Kombat and chill?
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It's the great Bukkake Charlie Brown
November 30, 2025 at 3:20 AM
It's the great Bukkake Charlie Brown
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It's not me, it's not you.
It's a secret third person.
It's a secret third person.
December 5, 2025 at 8:03 PM
It's not me, it's not you.
It's a secret third person.
It's a secret third person.
They say dress for the job you want not the job you have, so today I'm dressed like the Pope.
December 6, 2025 at 11:07 AM
They say dress for the job you want not the job you have, so today I'm dressed like the Pope.
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Sorry I didn’t sext you back.
My phone has been on silent since 2016.
My phone has been on silent since 2016.
December 4, 2025 at 10:11 AM
Sorry I didn’t sext you back.
My phone has been on silent since 2016.
My phone has been on silent since 2016.
I hope you get so offended today that you get all worked up and shit your pants.
December 6, 2025 at 11:06 AM
I hope you get so offended today that you get all worked up and shit your pants.
I may be smart, but rest assured, I'm directionless.
December 6, 2025 at 11:06 AM
I may be smart, but rest assured, I'm directionless.
I hate seeing grown men on scooters get a horse
November 30, 2025 at 5:59 PM
I hate seeing grown men on scooters get a horse
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Let's all remember this one when new Representative Adelita Grijalva is sworn in and the Epstein files are finally fucking released. Assuming they aren't doctored.
They better not let that orange, pedo shit-stain off once the proof is released.
They better not let that orange, pedo shit-stain off once the proof is released.
November 11, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Let's all remember this one when new Representative Adelita Grijalva is sworn in and the Epstein files are finally fucking released. Assuming they aren't doctored.
They better not let that orange, pedo shit-stain off once the proof is released.
They better not let that orange, pedo shit-stain off once the proof is released.
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My political hot take is that US voters should be able to recall elected representatives via petition - at any time.
No more hiding behind election terms.
No more hiding behind election terms.
November 11, 2025 at 1:05 PM
My political hot take is that US voters should be able to recall elected representatives via petition - at any time.
No more hiding behind election terms.
No more hiding behind election terms.
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Holy shit I wrote a comic
Holy shit I wrote a comic
Holy shit I wrote a comic
Holy shit I wrote a comic
Holy shit I wrote a comic
November 11, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Holy shit I wrote a comic
Holy shit I wrote a comic
Holy shit I wrote a comic
Holy shit I wrote a comic
Holy shit I wrote a comic
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You think my skeets are bad? Wait until you see this email.
-me, at work
-me, at work
November 7, 2025 at 12:51 PM
You think my skeets are bad? Wait until you see this email.
-me, at work
-me, at work
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Girl i wanna motorboat your personality
November 7, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Girl i wanna motorboat your personality
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The challenges of reaching across the aisle
November 6, 2025 at 8:29 PM
The challenges of reaching across the aisle
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My least favorite error message is *any* error message that instructs me to fucking CALL someone.
Bitch, would I be trying to do this online if I *liked* talking to people?!?
Bitch, would I be trying to do this online if I *liked* talking to people?!?
November 7, 2025 at 12:04 PM
My least favorite error message is *any* error message that instructs me to fucking CALL someone.
Bitch, would I be trying to do this online if I *liked* talking to people?!?
Bitch, would I be trying to do this online if I *liked* talking to people?!?
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*walks into a Bath & Body Works* one working body please
November 5, 2025 at 7:15 PM
*walks into a Bath & Body Works* one working body please
To kill Pinhead you have to skip one pin over another into a blank space and then remove that pin like that game at Cracker Barrel.
October 27, 2025 at 7:56 PM
To kill Pinhead you have to skip one pin over another into a blank space and then remove that pin like that game at Cracker Barrel.
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Things are falling apart as planned.
October 26, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Things are falling apart as planned.
I like many people except most of them.
October 27, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I like many people except most of them.
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I’m laid back but will lay forward if necessary.
October 25, 2025 at 9:39 PM
I’m laid back but will lay forward if necessary.
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If Jesus were real I'd pay to watch Christian conservatives explain to him why they voted to cut food and housing assistance to the needy
Bill Hader Eating Popcorn GIF
ALT: Bill Hader Eating Popcorn GIF
media.tenor.com
October 27, 2025 at 7:22 PM
If Jesus were real I'd pay to watch Christian conservatives explain to him why they voted to cut food and housing assistance to the needy