Andrew Zuber
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therealzuber.bsky.social
Andrew Zuber
@therealzuber.bsky.social
TV Writer for Nickelodeon, Freeform. Currently on The Neighborhood on CBS. Yes I was the magician on House Hunters. Cocoa fanatic.
@eve6.bsky.social has been awfully quiet lately and I need answers
November 20, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
It's profoundly different to cover a U.S. president than state or local officials, and too, much harder to vent publicly if you're female. But if in my reporting days, if anyone from a police sergeant to the mayor of Baltimore told me, "Quiet, piggy," I'd immediately insist he go fuck himself.
November 18, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
Here’s the deal:

His new name is Piggy.

That’s what we call him. In every conversation. In every post. In every meme.

Make it so pervasive that people in his on party and on his own staff start using it behind hos back and it eventually slips out at a press conference.
#PresidentPiggy #PIGUS
November 18, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Normalize calling him names to his face. I don’t care what his role is - he deserves zero respect and should be treated as such.
I don’t know why, and I don’t want to make a big hairy deal out it so ICE’s Special Media Prosecutor Division doesn’t notice, but People Magazine has been incredibly straightforward with their Trump headlines when he’s being a weird old asshole.

They’re a quiet Facebook behemoth, so this is good.
Donald Trump Snaps at Female Reporter Who Asks About Epstein Files: 'Quiet Piggy'
Donald Trump Says 'Quiet Piggy' to Female Reporter Asking About Epstein Files
people.com
November 18, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.
November 14, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Some vague promise of a vote in the future? We’re supposed to trust Republicans now? The party lead by the most dishonest crook in political history? If Democrats can’t play to win then they need to get off the field. I’m so mad I just made a sports analogy.
November 10, 2025 at 5:13 AM
I’m currently battling cancer (we’ll win this fight) and it is bonkers to think about how quickly this can bankrupt someone without insurance. I sit in a room pitching jokes and eating free gummy bears all day and I’d be lost without my union plan. Every person on earth should have access to this.
October 30, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
I have an idea for a show about a doctor who’s really good at being a doctor, but being human? hooo boy that throws em for a loop
October 30, 2025 at 4:15 AM
New rule: you can’t vote on any reality show stuff until you vote in a U.S. election first
October 23, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
the Muppets have been real quiet since the Louvre heist
October 19, 2025 at 10:19 PM
The party of law and order sure loves pardoning convicted felons
October 17, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
just thinking about the first time i met Dr. Goodall. I was at the Dallas Zoo and ran into her out of the blue. I told her I was a huge fan and I'll never forget her response: "I am not Jane Goodall. I'm not even a woman. Please stop shaking my hand."

that's just how Jane was, incredibly humble.
October 2, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
Tax the rich. And remember, they don't see us as equally human as them. They see us as inferior beings who don't deserve a living wage for our labors or health care or benefit from our taxes. Their proof of our inferiority is the fact that we are not rich.
September 11, 2025 at 7:30 PM
If a guest actress Emmy win isn’t going to air during the live show then what is the live show even for
September 7, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Only a 5-minute standing ovation at Venice? Pshhh, good luck selling that
September 6, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Cracker Barrel changes their logo and the right loses their minds but we’re the snowflakes, got it
August 25, 2025 at 11:46 PM
It’s about to be 2,000,001 after Trump finds the person who reports these numbers
August 8, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
Too much "we're cooked" & not enough "we're not gonna take this shit"
August 2, 2025 at 5:37 AM
If the idiot fakes the job numbers are unemployed people suddenly going to believe they have jobs
August 1, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
Ah yes my spouse is at a Coldplay concert with business associates, finally a night alone to sit back, relax, take a big sip of liquid, and browse the internet
July 17, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Does Deadline proof anything anymore or have they just given up
June 4, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Reading Deadline on my phone is always a flawless experience, no notes
May 7, 2025 at 1:53 PM
I could throw a dictionary into a blender and use the resulting word smoothie as a password and it would still have somehow appeared in a leak and need to be changed immediately
April 15, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
“I asked ChatGP to—“

SHUT UPPPPPP!!!!!!!!
April 11, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Reposted by Andrew Zuber
Final_Version_of_Tarrifs_actualFINALcopy_version7_USETHISONE.docx
April 9, 2025 at 6:39 PM