Ryan, Perdido en TX
@ryanlostintx.bsky.social
I’m just happy to be here.
Pinned
When you spend 30 minutes looking at the menu and finally agree to split the combo fajitas dinner for two.
Every single payment on my friends Venmo feed is something like FF or fake football league or I FUCKING HATE FOOTBALL lmao.
December 28, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Every single payment on my friends Venmo feed is something like FF or fake football league or I FUCKING HATE FOOTBALL lmao.
Every year at this time Sarah cleans up her lineup of copper pots while watching Die Hard. Here’s this year’s results.
December 28, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Every year at this time Sarah cleans up her lineup of copper pots while watching Die Hard. Here’s this year’s results.
Reposted by Ryan, Perdido en TX
Sorry. But here it a short video from when my cat first got perceived by one of my dogs.
December 28, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Sorry. But here it a short video from when my cat first got perceived by one of my dogs.
Sorry. But here it a short video from when my cat first got perceived by one of my dogs.
December 28, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Sorry. But here it a short video from when my cat first got perceived by one of my dogs.
Play that same song.
When the Houston Texans defense does something awesome but then you realize that means the Houston Texans offense has to come back onto the field:
December 27, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Play that same song.
Stock photos.
December 27, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Stock photos.
The Houston Texans are calling THE GOOD PLAYS™️ today.
When the Houston Texans defense does something awesome but then you realize that means the Houston Texans offense has to come back onto the field:
December 27, 2025 at 9:48 PM
The Houston Texans are calling THE GOOD PLAYS™️ today.
LETS. FUCKING. GOOOOO. TEXANS.
December 27, 2025 at 9:37 PM
LETS. FUCKING. GOOOOO. TEXANS.
Reposted by Ryan, Perdido en TX
When the Houston Texans defense does something awesome but then you realize that means the Houston Texans offense has to come back onto the field:
December 27, 2025 at 5:11 PM
When the Houston Texans defense does something awesome but then you realize that means the Houston Texans offense has to come back onto the field:
Can someone please remind the goddamned mosquitoes that is is DECEMBER 27TH.
December 27, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Can someone please remind the goddamned mosquitoes that is is DECEMBER 27TH.
Seems like a little bit too much sulphuric acid imho.
Air and water quality were being monitored Saturday after about 1 million gallons of sulfuric acid was released into the Houston Ship Channel, according to Harris County Judge Lina Hidalgo.
1 million gallons of sulfuric acid leaks into Houston Ship Channel, officials say
Two people were transported to a hospital and subsequently released after a leak at an industrial facility, according to Harris County Judge Lina Hidalgo, who said the greatest impact could be environmental.
www.houstonpublicmedia.org
December 27, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Seems like a little bit too much sulphuric acid imho.
When the Houston Texans defense does something awesome but then you realize that means the Houston Texans offense has to come back onto the field:
December 27, 2025 at 5:11 PM
When the Houston Texans defense does something awesome but then you realize that means the Houston Texans offense has to come back onto the field:
Reposted by Ryan, Perdido en TX
Us Secretary of agriculture when eggs go north of $80 a dozen.
Crazy how popular food has gotten lately.
December 27, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Us Secretary of agriculture when eggs go north of $80 a dozen.
Crazy how popular food has gotten lately.
December 27, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Crazy how popular food has gotten lately.
Some biscuits with scrambled eggs and a couple of breakfast sausage patties on top all smothered in jalapeño gravy would probably hit pretty hard right now.
December 27, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Some biscuits with scrambled eggs and a couple of breakfast sausage patties on top all smothered in jalapeño gravy would probably hit pretty hard right now.
Reposted by Ryan, Perdido en TX
[colin meloy voice]
my cheese wife
my cheeeeeeeese wife
my cheese wiiiiiiii ii ii iiife
my cheese wife
my cheeeeeeeese wife
my cheese wiiiiiiii ii ii iiife
December 27, 2025 at 2:17 AM
[colin meloy voice]
my cheese wife
my cheeeeeeeese wife
my cheese wiiiiiiii ii ii iiife
my cheese wife
my cheeeeeeeese wife
my cheese wiiiiiiii ii ii iiife
I think a lot of you missed the fact that a bbq pit full of fajitas fell of the back of a truck in the middle of the night in Houston.
December 27, 2025 at 2:09 AM
I think a lot of you missed the fact that a bbq pit full of fajitas fell of the back of a truck in the middle of the night in Houston.
Here’s the meat and sauce Sarah has going for the baked ziti she is making tonight and I’m amped.
December 27, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Here’s the meat and sauce Sarah has going for the baked ziti she is making tonight and I’m amped.
Beans in chili guy also demanding that meatloaf have a center that’s just piping hot baked beans.
December 27, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Beans in chili guy also demanding that meatloaf have a center that’s just piping hot baked beans.
Sarah was in line at HEB today and the guy in line in front of her at the checkout asked if she had a husband named Ryan and she said yes and apparently he follows me on Twitter and thinks I’m funny and it was a very pleasant interaction for her so that’s cool.
December 27, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Sarah was in line at HEB today and the guy in line in front of her at the checkout asked if she had a husband named Ryan and she said yes and apparently he follows me on Twitter and thinks I’m funny and it was a very pleasant interaction for her so that’s cool.
Reposted by Ryan, Perdido en TX
About to do my favorite form of gambling; driving 23 miles home from work when the expected fuel mileage on my vehicle is showing 23 miles until empty.
December 26, 2025 at 9:53 PM
About to do my favorite form of gambling; driving 23 miles home from work when the expected fuel mileage on my vehicle is showing 23 miles until empty.
Reposted by Ryan, Perdido en TX
Okay, Houston … we’ve had a problem here.
December 26, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Okay, Houston … we’ve had a problem here.
The first time I had a pass thrown to me in a high school football game I was wide open but got nervous and dropped it and immediately got pulled from the game and when I got to the sideline my position coach yelled “GOD DAMMIT, LOSTIN, YOU GOT HANDS LIKE FEET.”
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 5:37 PM
The first time I had a pass thrown to me in a high school football game I was wide open but got nervous and dropped it and immediately got pulled from the game and when I got to the sideline my position coach yelled “GOD DAMMIT, LOSTIN, YOU GOT HANDS LIKE FEET.”
Look, man, if you tell me a plate is hot… and even if I can see it’s a sizzling hot cast iron platter, I am still going to touch that motherfucker and burn the shit out of myself and there isn’t a damn thing I nor anyone else can do to stop it.
December 26, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Look, man, if you tell me a plate is hot… and even if I can see it’s a sizzling hot cast iron platter, I am still going to touch that motherfucker and burn the shit out of myself and there isn’t a damn thing I nor anyone else can do to stop it.