One of my best friends needs our help. This isn’t some grifter, this is someone we all know & love who has been going through hell. Please consider helping @bets.bsky.social as she continues to battle scary & significant health issues. More info here: www.gofundme.com/f/jennyandth...

Mass quantities of coffee are needed for today. Wait. Everyday!

No matter how old you are, if you hold a four colours ballpoint pen, you'll try to push down every colour at once

When you get to heaven, all the steps you missed while your watch was charging get added to the grand total.

virtue signal harder baby I’m almost there

When you’re partially colorblind and peeling garlic… Fun times.

I have found that being a mature adult consists of three parts:

1. Wondering why your back hurts.
2. Being exhausted.
3. Looking for that thing you just had.

Happy #Caturday friends 🐾

Will I make it through the day without locking myself in the bathroom to cry? I’ll report later.

We don't celebrate Thanksgiving here in Ireland so I will watch seven hours of football tonight in your honor and spell honour wrong just for you guys. So if you celebrate...Cheers.

Just asked a man to shake my Brussels sprouts.

I’m basically just using this to say the annoying things I would text if I had friends.

Thanksgiving is so ritualized, Discovery Channel should be narrating. “We can tell by her motion (hasn’t eaten/sat,) she’s the eldest daughter. She won’t eat til morning. Let’s check on the youngest in the pack. He has likely done nothing to help, but he naps. He will wake to eat again in an hour.”

If anyone needs brown sugar - I got you. And when I say “I got you,” I’m talking Y2K/Pandemic style. Who knew I was a hoarder of brown sugar? Not me!

Maybe it’s a trauma response. Maybe it’s growth.

I’m just here to get over my X

Anyone else only randomly crave “Chik Fil A” on a Sunday? I rarely eat there, but it never fails that when I want to, it’s a Sunday.