Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
A bindle full of blues
Recent stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7mscho63unxwu7n5s5ebgmuj/feed/aaalvnyuvqcu2
Some people liked these:
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Recent stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7mscho63unxwu7n5s5ebgmuj/feed/aaalvnyuvqcu2
Some people liked these:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7mscho63unxwu7n5s5ebgmuj/feed/aaakoiexih2cc
Pinned
Is the day before too soon to make jokes about my co-worker being shoved down the stairs?
I got a C minus on a pregnancy test because I thought it involved karate and a toilet brush
November 11, 2025 at 3:30 AM
I got a C minus on a pregnancy test because I thought it involved karate and a toilet brush
Turned over a new leaf and found an angry scorpion
November 9, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Turned over a new leaf and found an angry scorpion
The circle filling in while I waited for your nudes to download was like a little strip tease
November 9, 2025 at 2:02 PM
The circle filling in while I waited for your nudes to download was like a little strip tease
Woke up at 5 to get an early start on being tired
November 9, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Woke up at 5 to get an early start on being tired
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
I'm wearing a new perfume today, so I am unstoppable.
*walks into a stop sign*
*walks into a stop sign*
September 12, 2025 at 1:54 PM
I'm wearing a new perfume today, so I am unstoppable.
*walks into a stop sign*
*walks into a stop sign*
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Grief eventually leads to joy, which you'll know when you've cried so hard your nose makes a noise just like a clown's nose being honked
November 7, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Grief eventually leads to joy, which you'll know when you've cried so hard your nose makes a noise just like a clown's nose being honked
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
The native Americans had never seen a European belt before but they still laughed at the pilgrims for buckling their hats.
November 5, 2025 at 2:19 PM
The native Americans had never seen a European belt before but they still laughed at the pilgrims for buckling their hats.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Anything can be a pet. A squirrel, a dung beetle, moss. The key is, they can't get away.
November 3, 2025 at 6:57 AM
Anything can be a pet. A squirrel, a dung beetle, moss. The key is, they can't get away.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
November 8, 2025 at 2:39 AM
my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
I'm clapping and yelling "nice fill, woo!" to everyone in line ahead of me at the pharmacy
November 8, 2025 at 9:40 PM
I'm clapping and yelling "nice fill, woo!" to everyone in line ahead of me at the pharmacy
“she usually blows and I clean up” lands differently when talking about fall leaf management versus a cuck video
November 8, 2025 at 10:07 PM
“she usually blows and I clean up” lands differently when talking about fall leaf management versus a cuck video
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
instead of stars the american flag should have fifty little gravy boats
November 7, 2025 at 5:51 PM
instead of stars the american flag should have fifty little gravy boats
People continue to quote the entire headline when linking a news article
November 7, 2025 at 11:56 PM
People continue to quote the entire headline when linking a news article
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
The meek no longer want the earth thanks.
August 21, 2025 at 6:12 AM
The meek no longer want the earth thanks.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
In 7 weeks you'll hopefully be hitting the sack.
November 7, 2025 at 4:32 AM
In 7 weeks you'll hopefully be hitting the sack.
Gotta hit the sack, tomorrow morning I start my “7 weeks to self fellating” yoga class
November 7, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Gotta hit the sack, tomorrow morning I start my “7 weeks to self fellating” yoga class
I smell like onions today, this bodes well
November 7, 2025 at 4:22 AM
I smell like onions today, this bodes well
Please fax me all your Rolodex cards, I want to make new friends and share an investment opportunity
November 7, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Please fax me all your Rolodex cards, I want to make new friends and share an investment opportunity
It’s almost like my balls aren’t part of my body
November 7, 2025 at 4:05 AM
It’s almost like my balls aren’t part of my body
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
[friend] omg youve lost so much weight whats your secret
[me] haha thank you groceries cost twice as much now
[me] haha thank you groceries cost twice as much now
November 6, 2025 at 5:15 AM
[friend] omg youve lost so much weight whats your secret
[me] haha thank you groceries cost twice as much now
[me] haha thank you groceries cost twice as much now
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Before getting involved with someone, ask yourself: Is this a person I can visualize cropping out of pictures one day?
November 6, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Before getting involved with someone, ask yourself: Is this a person I can visualize cropping out of pictures one day?
“I’m in the zone”
* laying down in the truck stop entrance
* laying down in the truck stop entrance
November 7, 2025 at 1:26 AM
“I’m in the zone”
* laying down in the truck stop entrance
* laying down in the truck stop entrance
A rushed and poorly done needlepoint saying “a stitch in time saves nine” hanging in my surgeon’s office
November 7, 2025 at 1:24 AM
A rushed and poorly done needlepoint saying “a stitch in time saves nine” hanging in my surgeon’s office
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
It is perfect alien abduction weather tonight. (fingers crossed)
October 28, 2025 at 11:58 PM
It is perfect alien abduction weather tonight. (fingers crossed)
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Woke up sanity adjacent again.
November 6, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Woke up sanity adjacent again.