Reposted by Kilimanjaro
(stoically chopping wood at a remote cabin)
Subway franchise manager: strange place to find the world's best sandwich artist
me: ..that's the past. I left that life behind
Subway franchise manager: strange place to find the world's best sandwich artist
me: ..that's the past. I left that life behind
April 15, 2025 at 2:49 AM
(stoically chopping wood at a remote cabin)
Subway franchise manager: strange place to find the world's best sandwich artist
me: ..that's the past. I left that life behind
Subway franchise manager: strange place to find the world's best sandwich artist
me: ..that's the past. I left that life behind
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
Oh my god you want me to find "evidence" before putting someone in jail? Every time?? Do you have any idea how long that would take
April 15, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Oh my god you want me to find "evidence" before putting someone in jail? Every time?? Do you have any idea how long that would take
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
[it's hip to be square voice] it's fine to be cringe
April 14, 2025 at 12:28 AM
[it's hip to be square voice] it's fine to be cringe
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
A while back I said I can tell if you're hot or not based on your art and a bunch of people sent me art to ask if they're hot. The thing is, it's not a special skill of mine. It's just sort of self evident. I think a child as young as 27 could probably do it.
April 6, 2025 at 12:41 AM
A while back I said I can tell if you're hot or not based on your art and a bunch of people sent me art to ask if they're hot. The thing is, it's not a special skill of mine. It's just sort of self evident. I think a child as young as 27 could probably do it.
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
have to get shoulder xray and a haircut this week. should be able to get both at one place. hospital can definitely cut hair but they're being a bitch about it
April 1, 2025 at 1:15 PM
have to get shoulder xray and a haircut this week. should be able to get both at one place. hospital can definitely cut hair but they're being a bitch about it
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
Y’all, let’s talk about cheese.
Like, someone 7200 years ago thought to themselves, “Oh, let’s let this milk curdle in an animal bladder or stomach or something and see what happens. Whatever we get, we’ll just shove in our mouths.”
Love it.
Like, someone 7200 years ago thought to themselves, “Oh, let’s let this milk curdle in an animal bladder or stomach or something and see what happens. Whatever we get, we’ll just shove in our mouths.”
Love it.
April 1, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Y’all, let’s talk about cheese.
Like, someone 7200 years ago thought to themselves, “Oh, let’s let this milk curdle in an animal bladder or stomach or something and see what happens. Whatever we get, we’ll just shove in our mouths.”
Love it.
Like, someone 7200 years ago thought to themselves, “Oh, let’s let this milk curdle in an animal bladder or stomach or something and see what happens. Whatever we get, we’ll just shove in our mouths.”
Love it.
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
THE NEW SORROWSCOPES ARE HERE! TELL YOUR FRIENDS. TELL YOUR ENEMIES. TELL THE ANGRY VILLAGERS IN YOUR HEART WHO WILL NEVER STOP CHASING YOU
September 29, 2024 at 5:55 PM
THE NEW SORROWSCOPES ARE HERE! TELL YOUR FRIENDS. TELL YOUR ENEMIES. TELL THE ANGRY VILLAGERS IN YOUR HEART WHO WILL NEVER STOP CHASING YOU
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
I've been doing the Pete Buttigieg High Hopes dance every day since 2020 and it's deescalated life threatening situations no fewer than thirteen times.
March 31, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I've been doing the Pete Buttigieg High Hopes dance every day since 2020 and it's deescalated life threatening situations no fewer than thirteen times.
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
The Berenstain Bears And The Cruel Sands Of Time
March 30, 2025 at 4:12 PM
The Berenstain Bears And The Cruel Sands Of Time
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
still confused how we all ended up living in the billionaire biff timeline
March 30, 2025 at 8:55 PM
still confused how we all ended up living in the billionaire biff timeline
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
Holding grudges is as close as I get to cuddling.
February 20, 2024 at 2:24 AM
Holding grudges is as close as I get to cuddling.
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
My husband has 2 pairs of crocs, one for summer and one for winter. So what I’m saying is don’t rush into marriage
March 23, 2025 at 12:32 PM
My husband has 2 pairs of crocs, one for summer and one for winter. So what I’m saying is don’t rush into marriage
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
Has to be rough for Elon to know that his popularity is inversely correlated with his public exposure. People thought this guy was a genius before he started posting in earnest
March 22, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Has to be rough for Elon to know that his popularity is inversely correlated with his public exposure. People thought this guy was a genius before he started posting in earnest
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
I can tell that Spring is almost here because I'm filled with rage, but I also want to plant flowers.
March 16, 2025 at 12:56 PM
I can tell that Spring is almost here because I'm filled with rage, but I also want to plant flowers.
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
If you can’t handle me at my worst (crying in the fetal position), you don’t deserve me at my best (eating pizza in the fetal position).
March 22, 2025 at 1:10 PM
If you can’t handle me at my worst (crying in the fetal position), you don’t deserve me at my best (eating pizza in the fetal position).
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
A good way to "like" someone in real life is to slip a handful of shredded cheese into their pocket
March 20, 2025 at 5:25 PM
A good way to "like" someone in real life is to slip a handful of shredded cheese into their pocket
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
[putting flowers on a grave] I know you were allergic to these you piece of shit
January 30, 2025 at 11:58 PM
[putting flowers on a grave] I know you were allergic to these you piece of shit
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
The Path to Success
March 17, 2025 at 1:46 PM
The Path to Success
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
I didn’t leave twitter to avoid being exposed to ideas I don’t like, I left it to avoid the people who have those ideas. They’re all stupid, disgusting hogs!
March 17, 2025 at 5:09 AM
I didn’t leave twitter to avoid being exposed to ideas I don’t like, I left it to avoid the people who have those ideas. They’re all stupid, disgusting hogs!
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
When people say "you can't eat gravel" what they actually mean is "it's not easy or normal to eat gravel." Big difference!
March 16, 2025 at 1:32 PM
When people say "you can't eat gravel" what they actually mean is "it's not easy or normal to eat gravel." Big difference!
Reposted by Kilimanjaro
Most viable career paths right now:
-Police goon
-Tech fraudster
-Health care crank
-Regime propagandist
-Dentist (unrelated to the others, it just pays well)
-Police goon
-Tech fraudster
-Health care crank
-Regime propagandist
-Dentist (unrelated to the others, it just pays well)
March 16, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Most viable career paths right now:
-Police goon
-Tech fraudster
-Health care crank
-Regime propagandist
-Dentist (unrelated to the others, it just pays well)
-Police goon
-Tech fraudster
-Health care crank
-Regime propagandist
-Dentist (unrelated to the others, it just pays well)