Stompy
@shortymcstompy.bsky.social
A gadget loving history nerd. I get distracted by shiny things.
My pronouns are: She/Her.
Mastodon: ShortyMcStompy@mas.to
My pronouns are: She/Her.
Mastodon: ShortyMcStompy@mas.to
Reposted by Stompy
Told my girlfriend she has beautiful hair and she said "no, it looks like worms." What do I do now
November 15, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Told my girlfriend she has beautiful hair and she said "no, it looks like worms." What do I do now
Drew some boobs in the condensation of the pub window last weekend. Back this weekend and someone has turned it in to a Crudely Drawn Cock (CDC).
Can’t tell if I am annoyed or impressed.
Can’t tell if I am annoyed or impressed.
November 15, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Drew some boobs in the condensation of the pub window last weekend. Back this weekend and someone has turned it in to a Crudely Drawn Cock (CDC).
Can’t tell if I am annoyed or impressed.
Can’t tell if I am annoyed or impressed.
Reposted by Stompy
Reposted by Stompy
The Andrew formerly known as Prince.
October 31, 2025 at 1:15 AM
The Andrew formerly known as Prince.
Reposted by Stompy
Often you’ll be walking on Dartmoor & some ponies will be like “Follow us, we will lead you to the castle where the wizard lives & life is perfect!” My advice, from experience, is to ignore them. Ponies are known liars who will make up any old shit to briefly relieve the vast boredom of their lives.
October 29, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Often you’ll be walking on Dartmoor & some ponies will be like “Follow us, we will lead you to the castle where the wizard lives & life is perfect!” My advice, from experience, is to ignore them. Ponies are known liars who will make up any old shit to briefly relieve the vast boredom of their lives.
Reposted by Stompy
This remains the funniest way to hear about an internet outage, though.
October 20, 2025 at 8:41 AM
This remains the funniest way to hear about an internet outage, though.
Reposted by Stompy
i swear half the effort with a good heist is working out how they did it. always an uphill challenge
It's very trendy for the woke left to mock the police these days, but this is the kind of thing that you and I might miss.
October 20, 2025 at 9:13 AM
i swear half the effort with a good heist is working out how they did it. always an uphill challenge
Reposted by Stompy
So, people are going to have to pass A level english to live here are they? I hope they study what I did at A level, Translations by Brian Friel, about the colonial evil of the English forcing people to adopt the English language
October 15, 2025 at 7:34 AM
So, people are going to have to pass A level english to live here are they? I hope they study what I did at A level, Translations by Brian Friel, about the colonial evil of the English forcing people to adopt the English language
And once again I click an advert for an amazing item of clothing to find out it’s the kids range.
Stop advertising kids stuff to me. Adults want fun things too!
Now I have to find some cherry shaped ear muffs that will fit me …..
Stop advertising kids stuff to me. Adults want fun things too!
Now I have to find some cherry shaped ear muffs that will fit me …..
October 15, 2025 at 8:47 AM
And once again I click an advert for an amazing item of clothing to find out it’s the kids range.
Stop advertising kids stuff to me. Adults want fun things too!
Now I have to find some cherry shaped ear muffs that will fit me …..
Stop advertising kids stuff to me. Adults want fun things too!
Now I have to find some cherry shaped ear muffs that will fit me …..
Reposted by Stompy
Badenoch and Co see education only as a means to a massive income in some soul destroying career.
Devoid of imagination and the power of knowledge they view life entirely through the prism of the CV.
My advice always is to study what interests you and the rest will follow
Devoid of imagination and the power of knowledge they view life entirely through the prism of the CV.
My advice always is to study what interests you and the rest will follow
October 8, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Badenoch and Co see education only as a means to a massive income in some soul destroying career.
Devoid of imagination and the power of knowledge they view life entirely through the prism of the CV.
My advice always is to study what interests you and the rest will follow
Devoid of imagination and the power of knowledge they view life entirely through the prism of the CV.
My advice always is to study what interests you and the rest will follow
Well I just read a Joe Biden post about Jane Goodall and my first thought was “AH HA they used AI because it spelled organise wrong”
I’m so tired I briefly forgot American spelling was real.
I’m so tired I briefly forgot American spelling was real.
October 2, 2025 at 8:18 AM
Well I just read a Joe Biden post about Jane Goodall and my first thought was “AH HA they used AI because it spelled organise wrong”
I’m so tired I briefly forgot American spelling was real.
I’m so tired I briefly forgot American spelling was real.
Reposted by Stompy
Microwave ovens should be illegal. Somehow we've managed to microwave and oven garlic dough balls at the same time. They are weapons now. They'd kill Goliath if thrown. Could use them in cannons to fuck up the French. Absolutely lethal
October 1, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Microwave ovens should be illegal. Somehow we've managed to microwave and oven garlic dough balls at the same time. They are weapons now. They'd kill Goliath if thrown. Could use them in cannons to fuck up the French. Absolutely lethal
Reposted by Stompy
Hi! We've made the Put This In Your Ear Object. It is the ideal size and shape to put in your ear, feels really nice when you put it in your ear, and can be used to clean out earwax, by putting it in your ear. Just one thing, though. Under NO circumstances should you put this in your ear.
October 1, 2025 at 10:34 AM
Hi! We've made the Put This In Your Ear Object. It is the ideal size and shape to put in your ear, feels really nice when you put it in your ear, and can be used to clean out earwax, by putting it in your ear. Just one thing, though. Under NO circumstances should you put this in your ear.
Reposted by Stompy
The Hampstead ponds have REPEATEDLY voted to include trans women. But the officious pricks at Sex Matters don’t care what other women think and are forcing a public consultation anyway. Throw the ponds some support.
🚨 Consultation survey launched on whether trans people should be able to access Hampstead Heath ladies' pond following Supreme Court ruling
The consultation is open until 12:00 on Tuesday 25th November 2025.
(Survey link in next post)
www.standard.co.uk/news/london/...
The consultation is open until 12:00 on Tuesday 25th November 2025.
(Survey link in next post)
www.standard.co.uk/news/london/...
Survey launched on trans access to Hampstead Heath ladies' pond
The ladies’ pond at Hampstead Heath currently admits biological women and transgender women
www.standard.co.uk
October 1, 2025 at 6:59 PM
The Hampstead ponds have REPEATEDLY voted to include trans women. But the officious pricks at Sex Matters don’t care what other women think and are forcing a public consultation anyway. Throw the ponds some support.
Reposted by Stompy
As we’re celebrating Jim Henson, here’s lots of little Muppet doodles!
September 24, 2025 at 12:19 PM
As we’re celebrating Jim Henson, here’s lots of little Muppet doodles!
Reposted by Stompy
If you're opposed to anti-fascists, what does that make you again?
September 18, 2025 at 12:02 PM
If you're opposed to anti-fascists, what does that make you again?
Fuck knows that I did to get the “dude bro” version of the internet this week but every single advert on YouTube, or my podcasts, is some tedious bloke telling me about crypto.
September 18, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Fuck knows that I did to get the “dude bro” version of the internet this week but every single advert on YouTube, or my podcasts, is some tedious bloke telling me about crypto.
Reposted by Stompy
Some people have trouble interpreting abstract art. For example, many men can't see Mary's head in the design of this statue.
The new statue of the Madonna at Santa Teresa di Gallura is an "abstract of Mary's form" 👀
September 9, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Some people have trouble interpreting abstract art. For example, many men can't see Mary's head in the design of this statue.
So Apple have FINALLY released a brightly coloured iPhone Pro and the choices are navy or bright orange.
Wow I feel so spoiled. 😐 #AppleEvent #iPhone
Wow I feel so spoiled. 😐 #AppleEvent #iPhone
September 9, 2025 at 5:58 PM
So Apple have FINALLY released a brightly coloured iPhone Pro and the choices are navy or bright orange.
Wow I feel so spoiled. 😐 #AppleEvent #iPhone
Wow I feel so spoiled. 😐 #AppleEvent #iPhone
Letting go of the school holidays must be hard. I know this because there is currently a kid playing outside on his scooter in a literal thunderstorm. School tomorrow so can’t waste the last day of scoot freedom.
September 1, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Letting go of the school holidays must be hard. I know this because there is currently a kid playing outside on his scooter in a literal thunderstorm. School tomorrow so can’t waste the last day of scoot freedom.
Reposted by Stompy
STAND DOWN, PADDINGTON.
YOU CAN SIT THIS ONE OUT.
YOU CAN SIT THIS ONE OUT.
August 30, 2025 at 9:19 AM
STAND DOWN, PADDINGTON.
YOU CAN SIT THIS ONE OUT.
YOU CAN SIT THIS ONE OUT.
Reposted by Stompy
He’s not been golfing in 16 days. They’re definitely Weekend At Bernies-ing him
August 30, 2025 at 7:10 AM
He’s not been golfing in 16 days. They’re definitely Weekend At Bernies-ing him
Reposted by Stompy
If he is dead, I just feel sorry for the formerly second dumbest person in the world
August 30, 2025 at 7:29 AM
If he is dead, I just feel sorry for the formerly second dumbest person in the world
Reposted by Stompy
Americans are just on the verge of accepting it’s probably not true and going to bed when suddenly all the Brits wake up and start hooting and hollering
August 30, 2025 at 6:34 AM
Americans are just on the verge of accepting it’s probably not true and going to bed when suddenly all the Brits wake up and start hooting and hollering
Reposted by Stompy
Old Soviet joke for today:
A man walks into a newsstand every day, looks around, and leaves.
After a long time of this, the owner says “Can I help you find something?”
“I’m looking for the obituaries.”
“The obituaries are in the back of the newspaper, comrade.”
“Not the one I’m looking for.”
A man walks into a newsstand every day, looks around, and leaves.
After a long time of this, the owner says “Can I help you find something?”
“I’m looking for the obituaries.”
“The obituaries are in the back of the newspaper, comrade.”
“Not the one I’m looking for.”
August 30, 2025 at 5:06 AM
Old Soviet joke for today:
A man walks into a newsstand every day, looks around, and leaves.
After a long time of this, the owner says “Can I help you find something?”
“I’m looking for the obituaries.”
“The obituaries are in the back of the newspaper, comrade.”
“Not the one I’m looking for.”
A man walks into a newsstand every day, looks around, and leaves.
After a long time of this, the owner says “Can I help you find something?”
“I’m looking for the obituaries.”
“The obituaries are in the back of the newspaper, comrade.”
“Not the one I’m looking for.”