@schamburgler.bsky.social
Reposted
Making them wear high-visibility vests over camo is such a good joke you couldn’t write it
National Guard is now tasked with picking up garbage in DC
August 26, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Making them wear high-visibility vests over camo is such a good joke you couldn’t write it
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A second Trump birthday card has dropped.
July 18, 2025 at 1:42 AM
A second Trump birthday card has dropped.
As an NBA head coach I'm yelling, "Horns! Horns!" every offensive play as the PG stares at me like, "WTF, you've never actually ever drawn up any plays for us!"
May 4, 2025 at 12:24 AM
As an NBA head coach I'm yelling, "Horns! Horns!" every offensive play as the PG stares at me like, "WTF, you've never actually ever drawn up any plays for us!"
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This will be great. Very excited! Tickets avail indivisiblerockland.org/april3
April 2, 2025 at 3:04 AM
This will be great. Very excited! Tickets avail indivisiblerockland.org/april3
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[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken]
CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter
CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter
March 14, 2025 at 2:36 AM
[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken]
CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter
CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter
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“Get in, loser, we’re crashing the stock market.”
March 11, 2025 at 10:28 PM
“Get in, loser, we’re crashing the stock market.”
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This is good!
I love talking to @christianfinnegan.bsky.social about anything but his take on culture and current events makes my heart sing.
Listen here!
standupwithpete.libsyn.com/1311-christi...
Listen here!
standupwithpete.libsyn.com/1311-christi...
March 9, 2025 at 9:49 PM
This is good!
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opening a speak-over-easy
Trump take eggs so now we smuggle egg bsky.app/profile/mike...
getting weird out there
thelogic.co/news/canada-...
thelogic.co/news/canada-...
March 8, 2025 at 10:59 PM
opening a speak-over-easy
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I love talking to @christianfinnegan.bsky.social about anything but his take on culture and current events makes my heart sing.
Listen here!
standupwithpete.libsyn.com/1311-christi...
Listen here!
standupwithpete.libsyn.com/1311-christi...
March 8, 2025 at 4:40 PM
I love talking to @christianfinnegan.bsky.social about anything but his take on culture and current events makes my heart sing.
Listen here!
standupwithpete.libsyn.com/1311-christi...
Listen here!
standupwithpete.libsyn.com/1311-christi...
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This scrum of pot-bellied, sunken-chested betas trying to bully an all-black clad badass Eastern European wasteland survivor while dressed like Men’s Wearhouse mannequins is peak cinema.
GLENN: Why don't you wear a suit? You're at the highest level in this country's office & you refuse to wear a suit. A lot of Americans have problems with you not respecting the office.
ZELENSKYY: I will wear a costume after this war will finish. Maybe something like yours. Maybe something better.
ZELENSKYY: I will wear a costume after this war will finish. Maybe something like yours. Maybe something better.
February 28, 2025 at 7:22 PM
This scrum of pot-bellied, sunken-chested betas trying to bully an all-black clad badass Eastern European wasteland survivor while dressed like Men’s Wearhouse mannequins is peak cinema.
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Bringing my favorite panda (fuckbois of bears) video back:
These two pandas were having sex and then a third panda falls out of a tree while eating and then all the pandas start fighting over bamboo. This is why they're endangered.
These two pandas were having sex and then a third panda falls out of a tree while eating and then all the pandas start fighting over bamboo. This is why they're endangered.
November 28, 2024 at 7:02 PM
Bringing my favorite panda (fuckbois of bears) video back:
These two pandas were having sex and then a third panda falls out of a tree while eating and then all the pandas start fighting over bamboo. This is why they're endangered.
These two pandas were having sex and then a third panda falls out of a tree while eating and then all the pandas start fighting over bamboo. This is why they're endangered.
Reposted
RFK Jr. staged a bear cub murder and he’s even thinking this shit is weird.
get a load of the look on RFK Jr's face as Trump hawks his new merch in the Oval Office
February 25, 2025 at 10:37 PM
RFK Jr. staged a bear cub murder and he’s even thinking this shit is weird.
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I appreciate everyone’s messages of support, I’m trying to get through all my mentions but as you can imagine, it’s been a bit of a busy day :)
Remember - peaceful civil disobedience, and no kings, no tyrants. Not ever.
Remember - peaceful civil disobedience, and no kings, no tyrants. Not ever.
February 20, 2025 at 6:06 AM
I appreciate everyone’s messages of support, I’m trying to get through all my mentions but as you can imagine, it’s been a bit of a busy day :)
Remember - peaceful civil disobedience, and no kings, no tyrants. Not ever.
Remember - peaceful civil disobedience, and no kings, no tyrants. Not ever.
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“China is the new Islam” is something Tracy Jordan would say on cable news in a cutaway 30 Rock joke
February 2, 2025 at 4:41 AM
“China is the new Islam” is something Tracy Jordan would say on cable news in a cutaway 30 Rock joke
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Reposted
Yo. Why did they make him hold a flashlight up to his face like he’s telling a ghost story?
January 18, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Yo. Why did they make him hold a flashlight up to his face like he’s telling a ghost story?
Dave Coulier: I know I'm forgetting something. Siri play You Outta Know
"...and I'm HERE to REMIND YOU of the MESS YOU LEFT WHEN YOU WENT AWAY"
DC: Right, I forgot to do the dishes before going on vacation
"Youh youh youh outta knoooow"
DC: I got it. Cut. It. Out.
"...and I'm HERE to REMIND YOU of the MESS YOU LEFT WHEN YOU WENT AWAY"
DC: Right, I forgot to do the dishes before going on vacation
"Youh youh youh outta knoooow"
DC: I got it. Cut. It. Out.
December 28, 2024 at 5:39 PM
Dave Coulier: I know I'm forgetting something. Siri play You Outta Know
"...and I'm HERE to REMIND YOU of the MESS YOU LEFT WHEN YOU WENT AWAY"
DC: Right, I forgot to do the dishes before going on vacation
"Youh youh youh outta knoooow"
DC: I got it. Cut. It. Out.
"...and I'm HERE to REMIND YOU of the MESS YOU LEFT WHEN YOU WENT AWAY"
DC: Right, I forgot to do the dishes before going on vacation
"Youh youh youh outta knoooow"
DC: I got it. Cut. It. Out.
Made my first ever donation to Alice's Kids. When they asked how I'd heard of them I just put @pattonoswalt.bsky.social sent me. Looks like a great charity to get involved with.
December 16, 2024 at 12:15 PM
Made my first ever donation to Alice's Kids. When they asked how I'd heard of them I just put @pattonoswalt.bsky.social sent me. Looks like a great charity to get involved with.
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I come down for breakfast this morning and find my wife crying over the newspaper. She's reading about that murdered CEO. "His wife!" she says. "I can't stop thinking about his wife." I tell her honey, I'll do anything to make you feel better. She says "Will you apply for a job in health insurance?"
December 6, 2024 at 3:45 AM
I come down for breakfast this morning and find my wife crying over the newspaper. She's reading about that murdered CEO. "His wife!" she says. "I can't stop thinking about his wife." I tell her honey, I'll do anything to make you feel better. She says "Will you apply for a job in health insurance?"
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Most of us pay into Social Security all year. But billionaires only pay in on their first $168,600 of income.
If billionaires like Elon Musk paid into Social Security at the same rate as the rest of us on all of their income, we could expand benefits for everyone and pay them in full forever.
If billionaires like Elon Musk paid into Social Security at the same rate as the rest of us on all of their income, we could expand benefits for everyone and pay them in full forever.
December 3, 2024 at 2:47 PM
Most of us pay into Social Security all year. But billionaires only pay in on their first $168,600 of income.
If billionaires like Elon Musk paid into Social Security at the same rate as the rest of us on all of their income, we could expand benefits for everyone and pay them in full forever.
If billionaires like Elon Musk paid into Social Security at the same rate as the rest of us on all of their income, we could expand benefits for everyone and pay them in full forever.
I refuse to eat turkey for lunch today. Every meal since Thursday. Every man has his breaking point.
December 3, 2024 at 3:39 PM
I refuse to eat turkey for lunch today. Every meal since Thursday. Every man has his breaking point.
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The Republican plan to fix the economy.
November 27, 2024 at 10:37 PM
The Republican plan to fix the economy.
Christina Aguilera is the best for getting a newborn to sleep:
If you want me to go sleep
Daddy there's a price to pay
I'm a super tiny baby
You gotta rock me the right way
If you want me to go sleep
I can make your wish come true
Gotta make a good impression
Gotta like what you do
If you want me to go sleep
Daddy there's a price to pay
I'm a super tiny baby
You gotta rock me the right way
If you want me to go sleep
I can make your wish come true
Gotta make a good impression
Gotta like what you do
November 24, 2024 at 1:27 AM
Christina Aguilera is the best for getting a newborn to sleep:
If you want me to go sleep
Daddy there's a price to pay
I'm a super tiny baby
You gotta rock me the right way
If you want me to go sleep
I can make your wish come true
Gotta make a good impression
Gotta like what you do
If you want me to go sleep
Daddy there's a price to pay
I'm a super tiny baby
You gotta rock me the right way
If you want me to go sleep
I can make your wish come true
Gotta make a good impression
Gotta like what you do
Dumb thought that popped into my head today. Part of the reason why I chose my career path was because I wanted to be free to listen to music all day and 19 years in, that's still true.
February 15, 2024 at 2:55 PM
Dumb thought that popped into my head today. Part of the reason why I chose my career path was because I wanted to be free to listen to music all day and 19 years in, that's still true.