Pinned
Sam Handwich
@samhandwitch.bsky.social
· Jan 18
I’m going to use this thread to store the tweet phrases that keep banging around in my head
🚓🚨 woop woop pronoun police 🚨 🚓
It took me a bit to focus on the "biological pronouns" part of Murphy's opinion, but, in my defense, that's only because the concurring opinions contain myriad unbelievable claims.
Judge John Bush, another Trump appointee, might be the worst opinion of the bunch.
Judge John Bush, another Trump appointee, might be the worst opinion of the bunch.
November 7, 2025 at 4:06 PM
🚓🚨 woop woop pronoun police 🚨 🚓
go go abbott wheels
October 31, 2025 at 3:14 PM
go go abbott wheels
my wife watched House of Dynamite and was so mad at the ending she immediately cancelled netflix lol
October 27, 2025 at 12:24 AM
my wife watched House of Dynamite and was so mad at the ending she immediately cancelled netflix lol
Another victim of white (concrete) supremacy… go woke or building broke
432 Park Is Cracking Up
Developers wanted the supertall’s cement façade to be a pristine white. Turns out that’s not great for durability.
www.curbed.com
October 24, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Another victim of white (concrete) supremacy… go woke or building broke
Reposted by Sam Handwich
i’m running for president in 2028, this is my platform:
- no more spam texts and calls
- smaller cars with weaker headlights
- imprison every person in ice and the trump administration on a remote island for a thousand years
- no more spam texts and calls
- smaller cars with weaker headlights
- imprison every person in ice and the trump administration on a remote island for a thousand years
October 11, 2025 at 2:54 PM
i’m running for president in 2028, this is my platform:
- no more spam texts and calls
- smaller cars with weaker headlights
- imprison every person in ice and the trump administration on a remote island for a thousand years
- no more spam texts and calls
- smaller cars with weaker headlights
- imprison every person in ice and the trump administration on a remote island for a thousand years
Reposted by Sam Handwich
we have got to start killing billionaires. is the first line that the villain speaks in the novel im writing. really though, in the real world, we have to kill these people. he continues
October 16, 2025 at 5:39 AM
we have got to start killing billionaires. is the first line that the villain speaks in the novel im writing. really though, in the real world, we have to kill these people. he continues
Reposted by Sam Handwich
“Years of lead…supplements” - @bdowney.bsky.social
October 14, 2025 at 10:54 PM
“Years of lead…supplements” - @bdowney.bsky.social
who up carvin they gourd
October 13, 2025 at 2:35 PM
who up carvin they gourd
doing a fire/ice double feature with two dogshit movies, THE LOST BUS and ICE ROAD: VENGEANCE
October 12, 2025 at 12:51 AM
doing a fire/ice double feature with two dogshit movies, THE LOST BUS and ICE ROAD: VENGEANCE
Reposted by Sam Handwich
Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile starts... now.
The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein
YouTube video by The Onion
www.youtube.com
October 9, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile starts... now.
Reposted by Sam Handwich
how do u even compete with this level of propaganda. and why tf do these vril guys love tatu so much
October 9, 2025 at 7:37 PM
how do u even compete with this level of propaganda. and why tf do these vril guys love tatu so much
Reposted by Sam Handwich
portland frog you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your rubber suit is too bad. they’ll kill you portland frog
October 9, 2025 at 12:50 AM
portland frog you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your rubber suit is too bad. they’ll kill you portland frog
Reposted by Sam Handwich
Reposted by Sam Handwich
every poster whose skeets get read in court should be required to have a username that is this funny, at bare minimum
September 20, 2025 at 9:48 PM
every poster whose skeets get read in court should be required to have a username that is this funny, at bare minimum
ALAB (assigned lawyer at birth)
October 4, 2025 at 3:31 PM
ALAB (assigned lawyer at birth)
a lot of people On Here are exposing themselves as members of the Virgin-American community
October 4, 2025 at 2:42 AM
a lot of people On Here are exposing themselves as members of the Virgin-American community
please be kind to the Gaylor crew today, i’m sure they are having a Hard time with the news
October 3, 2025 at 8:29 PM
please be kind to the Gaylor crew today, i’m sure they are having a Hard time with the news
*hanging brain* (reverently) he wields the brain
October 3, 2025 at 5:07 PM
*hanging brain* (reverently) he wields the brain
republicans: actual nazis
democrats: lemonparty.jpg
democrats: lemonparty.jpg
October 3, 2025 at 4:22 PM
republicans: actual nazis
democrats: lemonparty.jpg
democrats: lemonparty.jpg
Drivers kill 10000 pedestrians per year. Here’s why they had it coming.
In 2024, 7,100 pedestrians were killed on the road, and in recent years, more than 1,000 cyclists have been hit and killed annually. Safety experts explain how bikers and walkers can stay safe.
8 walking and biking safety tips that just might save your life
In 2024, 7,100 pedestrians were killed on the road, and in recent years, more than 1,000 cyclists have been hit and killed annually. Safety experts explain how bikers and walkers can stay safe.
n.pr
September 27, 2025 at 10:53 AM
Drivers kill 10000 pedestrians per year. Here’s why they had it coming.
Reposted by Sam Handwich
Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again
September 22, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again
Lmao at this coming from John “The Torture Memo Guy” Yoo
Opinion | A military campaign against the drug trade would be unconstitutional
Trump’s boat strikes against the cartels risk crossing the line between law enforcement and war.
www.washingtonpost.com
September 23, 2025 at 10:43 AM
Lmao at this coming from John “The Torture Memo Guy” Yoo
Reposted by Sam Handwich
For our October issue I wrote about the Roberts Court for its 20th anniversary, how it helped lead us to the current crisis, and what should be done about it:
The Roberts Court Is Winning Its War on American Democracy
Chief Justice John Roberts has now overseen 20 years of increasingly illiberal rulings by the Supreme Court.
newrepublic.com
September 22, 2025 at 6:32 PM
For our October issue I wrote about the Roberts Court for its 20th anniversary, how it helped lead us to the current crisis, and what should be done about it:
Will Trump and Vance use Charlie Kirk’s memorial to call for unity?
Yeah that sounds like something they would do 👍
Yeah that sounds like something they would do 👍
September 21, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Will Trump and Vance use Charlie Kirk’s memorial to call for unity?
Yeah that sounds like something they would do 👍
Yeah that sounds like something they would do 👍
Reposted by Sam Handwich
