Sam Handwich
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samhandwitch.bsky.social
Sam Handwich
@samhandwitch.bsky.social
180 followers 1K following 370 posts
im a lurker mostly
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samhandwitch.bsky.social
problematic crab
Tweet reading “ummm hey me and the other crabs in the bucket have noticed that ur actually getting near the top. and like so sorry but that's lowkey problematic:/ bc like we'll still be in the bucket : (| sooo yea if u could maybe take accountability and get back in the bucket”
October 20, 2025 at 2:24 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Me, a communist: "Schumer needs to whip his caucus harder into opposing the secretary of labor nominee! 17 yes votes is unacceptable." Sheryl, retired lowa schoolteacher who caucused for Klobuchar: "so what if he carries his kid around, a 4 year old isn't stopping a bullet"
October 1, 2025 at 6:07 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Tweet that reads “Being a billionaire must be insane. You can buy new teeth, new skin. All your chairs cost 20,000 dollars and weigh 2,000 pounds. Your life is just a series of your own preferences. In terms of cognitive impairment it's probably like being kicked in the head by a horse every day”
September 25, 2025 at 1:54 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Tweet from @prophethusband “Me: Im treatmaxxing Lol. Eating a bunch of snacks instead of dinner Wife: They call that Girl Dinner now Me (looking out the window): Thats not what im doing. I'm doing something else”
September 22, 2025 at 10:47 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Will Trump and Vance use Charlie Kirk’s memorial to call for unity?

Yeah that sounds like something they would do 👍
Washington Post headline: will trump and vance use charlie kirk’s murder to call for unity?
September 21, 2025 at 5:05 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
The dumbest minds of our generation lament death of colossal asshole
George F Will, marc thiessen, mcmegan hagiographies of asshole charlie kirk
September 12, 2025 at 10:57 AM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
I beg to differ.
Close up of a chud’s t shirt at a pro January 6 protest with the words “enrique tarrio did nothing wrong!”
September 4, 2025 at 1:13 AM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Demerzel from the Foundation TV series
August 21, 2025 at 2:27 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
I really enjoyed the story. This jumped out at me. “Repopulating Mars” is either simple misspeaking or indicative of very strange beliefs.
He reasoned that Musk aligned himself with Trump "because he is driven by a greater mission," he said. "He knows that in order for Tesla to be successful... America must be strong. And remember, he's driven by repopulating Mars."
July 23, 2025 at 2:30 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
One of my favorite tweets
John Ganz tweet: “left wing intellectuals on right wing intellectuals: wow look at all these fun weirdos, i am gonna make a special scrap book of their ideas...omg do i have a crush? right wing intellectuals on left wing intellectuals: look, these guys are all jews”
July 9, 2025 at 12:30 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
And this is how I picture Gregor from Ep 2, just based on his voice
June 24, 2025 at 2:23 AM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Boooooo
Today’s NYT spelling bee saying incel is not a word
June 18, 2025 at 12:10 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
You’ve gotta try these
May 29, 2025 at 2:19 AM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
I went to twitter looking for Mike’s hard penis, and found… an ad (?) for a free trip to mars?? What’s going on over there
March 18, 2025 at 11:44 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
what the FUCK! the apple juice mafia also made beef juice!
March 16, 2025 at 11:53 AM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Reading the ancient texts
Treaty of Waitangi, looks like Bart Simpson Mississippi looks like Bart Simpson
March 15, 2025 at 2:21 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
nice
69% of readers answered this accurately
February 28, 2025 at 2:26 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
February 20, 2025 at 1:03 AM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
February 7, 2025 at 3:54 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
January 17, 2025 at 10:19 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
It comes in gallons, too
January 13, 2025 at 11:20 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Hey @wyattprivilege.bsky.social you introduced me to Mr Inbetween on Twitter and it was incredible, you got any other secret Aussie shows or other recs?
Mr Inbetween giving his signature smile before maiming or killing someone
January 6, 2025 at 2:02 AM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
I always pictured this guy
The psychiatrist from the Simpsons at a microphone
December 20, 2024 at 5:59 PM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Jar of extra mild salsa for people with weak constitutions and low moral character
December 13, 2024 at 12:36 AM
samhandwitch.bsky.social
Snake on a computer keyboard, typing a message that antivenom is for pussies
September 9, 2024 at 12:51 AM