@myeviltwin.bsky.social
Mammatus clouds:
I must somehow become boobier
October 25, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Mammatus clouds:
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When I was younger, I thought one day maybe I'll go to a bar all the time and the bartender will know my order. Never happened. But today the pharmacist looked at me and said, we got your order, hold on. Not the way I imagined this moment at all.
October 22, 2025 at 6:11 PM
When I was younger, I thought one day maybe I'll go to a bar all the time and the bartender will know my order. Never happened. But today the pharmacist looked at me and said, we got your order, hold on. Not the way I imagined this moment at all.
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A+ thread that ends with a bang.
a) much like a burning cross or a white hood, a nazi symbol worn on the person or reverently displayed on one's property is a direct death threat. against me, it so happens. also others. the urgency depends on who's doing it, when, and in what company. but it always means that
October 22, 2025 at 2:22 AM
A+ thread that ends with a bang.
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Look I’m not blaming anyone I’m just asking if anyone has checked the British Museum for the Louvre’s jewels
October 21, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Look I’m not blaming anyone I’m just asking if anyone has checked the British Museum for the Louvre’s jewels
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[E.T.s dad when E.T. is finally back at home] so you just picked them up of the ground and ate them???
October 19, 2025 at 12:21 AM
[E.T.s dad when E.T. is finally back at home] so you just picked them up of the ground and ate them???
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This Halloween I’m going as the scariest thing of all, emotional intimacy!!! ha ha just kidding I’m prion disease
October 12, 2025 at 4:57 AM
This Halloween I’m going as the scariest thing of all, emotional intimacy!!! ha ha just kidding I’m prion disease
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Our red panda kits have names! ❤️ Introducing Katara (left) and Sokka (right) Inspired by the iconic brother–sister duo from Avatar: The Last Airbender!
These tiny siblings are already showing big personalities, and we can’t wait to share more of their journey as they grow.
These tiny siblings are already showing big personalities, and we can’t wait to share more of their journey as they grow.
September 25, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Our red panda kits have names! ❤️ Introducing Katara (left) and Sokka (right) Inspired by the iconic brother–sister duo from Avatar: The Last Airbender!
These tiny siblings are already showing big personalities, and we can’t wait to share more of their journey as they grow.
These tiny siblings are already showing big personalities, and we can’t wait to share more of their journey as they grow.
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If you work at the Dream Hotel, I’m so sorry about that trail of Arborio rice leading through all the hallways
September 25, 2025 at 12:04 PM
If you work at the Dream Hotel, I’m so sorry about that trail of Arborio rice leading through all the hallways
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CHOTINER:
JOHN CAGE:
CHOTINER:
CAGE:
CHOTINER: ?
CAGE: This interview is over.
JOHN CAGE:
CHOTINER:
CAGE:
CHOTINER: ?
CAGE: This interview is over.
September 25, 2025 at 2:43 PM
CHOTINER:
JOHN CAGE:
CHOTINER:
CAGE:
CHOTINER: ?
CAGE: This interview is over.
JOHN CAGE:
CHOTINER:
CAGE:
CHOTINER: ?
CAGE: This interview is over.
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Haha I'm being Raptured! This is wonderful, ha ha goodbye losers [It is revealed that the events of the film Nope are happening to me] fuck shit
September 23, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Haha I'm being Raptured! This is wonderful, ha ha goodbye losers [It is revealed that the events of the film Nope are happening to me] fuck shit
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once again, if tylenol caused autism, america would have a better rail system
September 22, 2025 at 11:16 PM
once again, if tylenol caused autism, america would have a better rail system
Yellowjackets fans: Shauna Tova. Is this anything? 🍎🍏🍯🐝🐝🐝
September 22, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Yellowjackets fans: Shauna Tova. Is this anything? 🍎🍏🍯🐝🐝🐝
Has anybody tried contacting the fairies to see if Mothra can help?
September 15, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Has anybody tried contacting the fairies to see if Mothra can help?
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"Fuck, Hill House is haunted. Damn it. Fuck!"
- Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House
- Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House
September 6, 2025 at 9:26 PM
"Fuck, Hill House is haunted. Damn it. Fuck!"
- Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House
- Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House
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me: oh, shirley jackson, you're back early
sj: hill house is haunted
me: what
sj, loading a pistol, getting back on the rocket: hill house is haunted
sj: hill house is haunted
me: what
sj, loading a pistol, getting back on the rocket: hill house is haunted
September 6, 2025 at 11:01 PM
me: oh, shirley jackson, you're back early
sj: hill house is haunted
me: what
sj, loading a pistol, getting back on the rocket: hill house is haunted
sj: hill house is haunted
me: what
sj, loading a pistol, getting back on the rocket: hill house is haunted
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Look you can’t tell me this thing is “intelligently designed” — it goes into a five-minute coughing fit if I breathe wrong. Sometimes it accidentally bites itself. It draws blood.
September 6, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Look you can’t tell me this thing is “intelligently designed” — it goes into a five-minute coughing fit if I breathe wrong. Sometimes it accidentally bites itself. It draws blood.
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my friend has two rescue parakeets that love to get in dramatic little fights all the time, and yesterday they moved one of their toys to be between them on their perch so they don't have to look at each other
September 5, 2025 at 2:16 PM
my friend has two rescue parakeets that love to get in dramatic little fights all the time, and yesterday they moved one of their toys to be between them on their perch so they don't have to look at each other
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in a bid to avoid doomscrolling on my lunch break i made a menu for my cat
September 4, 2025 at 8:37 PM
in a bid to avoid doomscrolling on my lunch break i made a menu for my cat
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One time when I was like 12, I was crying outside of some after school program bc I was having a hard time making friends. One of the volunteers (a retired cartoonist in his 70s) found me — and instead of ushering me back inside, he let me talk through all my woes.
September 4, 2025 at 6:52 AM
One time when I was like 12, I was crying outside of some after school program bc I was having a hard time making friends. One of the volunteers (a retired cartoonist in his 70s) found me — and instead of ushering me back inside, he let me talk through all my woes.
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"Pat, why do you carry that ridiculous 600mm lens on long hikes?"
Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.
Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.
August 28, 2025 at 4:18 PM
"Pat, why do you carry that ridiculous 600mm lens on long hikes?"
Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.
Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.
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If I had a time machine I'd change the course of history by visiting the set of News Radio, killing Andy Dick, and then framing Joe Rogan for the murder.
August 27, 2025 at 11:59 PM
If I had a time machine I'd change the course of history by visiting the set of News Radio, killing Andy Dick, and then framing Joe Rogan for the murder.