Johnathan Taylor Goblikon
@mrthursday.bsky.social
He/him, engineer, pro-democracy (Even when the results are stupid). The Constitution is not a buffet.
🇺🇸🤘🏋️🥾🐕🦺👨🍳📷
🇺🇸🤘🏋️🥾🐕🦺👨🍳📷
Pinned
I've been curating an Authoritarian Right block list for a while, and just started sharing it recently. Here's a link for anyone who wants to use it, and an explainer below if you want to know more about it.
Reposted by Johnathan Taylor Goblikon
Drunk raccoon found passed out in Virginia liquor store
Drunk raccoon found passed out in Virginia liquor store
Store employee found masked bandit sleeping off a bender after invading booze store and tippling a tad too much
A liquor store employee in Virginia was startled on Saturday to discover smashed whisky bottles on the floor of the shop and, upon entering the bathroom, an apparently drunk, sleeping and spread-eagled raccoon.
“He fell through one of the ceiling tiles and went on a full-blown rampage, drinking everything,” Samantha Martin, a local animal control officer, told the Daily Mail. Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
December 3, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Drunk raccoon found passed out in Virginia liquor store
I just love "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus" so much that I wrote a nearly identical song for the other 11 months of the year called "I saw Mommy kissing Spiderman"
November 26, 2025 at 5:40 PM
I just love "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus" so much that I wrote a nearly identical song for the other 11 months of the year called "I saw Mommy kissing Spiderman"
I want there to be a remake of Red Dawn where the invasion occurs on Halloween, so the Wolverines have no choice but to fight the Russians while dressed as slutty hot dogs.
November 26, 2025 at 12:55 PM
I want there to be a remake of Red Dawn where the invasion occurs on Halloween, so the Wolverines have no choice but to fight the Russians while dressed as slutty hot dogs.
But, if you are going to eat turkey, it should not cost more than $10 and should be delivered to your home fully prepared in its own personal taxi for no extra cost.
November 24, 2025 at 2:11 PM
But, if you are going to eat turkey, it should not cost more than $10 and should be delivered to your home fully prepared in its own personal taxi for no extra cost.
Fact: Vampires are cannibals.
November 22, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Fact: Vampires are cannibals.
Fact: Twix is short for Twenty-six, which is how many bars originally came in a package. It was reduced to 2 due to shrinkflation.
November 18, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Fact: Twix is short for Twenty-six, which is how many bars originally came in a package. It was reduced to 2 due to shrinkflation.
If you see this, post one image from your device with no context.
November 8, 2025 at 10:23 PM
If you see this, post one image from your device with no context.
Dating tip: If a date comes to your place, music can be a great way to set the mood. Be clear about your intentions by picking songs where Biz Markie repeatedly yells "I'm gonna have some sex!"
November 8, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Dating tip: If a date comes to your place, music can be a great way to set the mood. Be clear about your intentions by picking songs where Biz Markie repeatedly yells "I'm gonna have some sex!"
ACAB includes Carl Winslow
November 6, 2025 at 2:07 PM
ACAB includes Carl Winslow
Reposted by Johnathan Taylor Goblikon
that’s my favorite kind of follower. tell all your friends to follow me too please
November 6, 2025 at 5:04 AM
that’s my favorite kind of follower. tell all your friends to follow me too please
According to this real ad I got on YouTube, the key to defeating scroll addiction is to masturbate more.
November 5, 2025 at 5:16 AM
According to this real ad I got on YouTube, the key to defeating scroll addiction is to masturbate more.
Reposted by Johnathan Taylor Goblikon
Reposted by Johnathan Taylor Goblikon
Meteorologists are forecasting a time loop for the Denver area this week. Either that, or daylight savings time got super fucky.
November 3, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Meteorologists are forecasting a time loop for the Denver area this week. Either that, or daylight savings time got super fucky.
I think this is an appropriate response to most of the posts featured on @thelouvreof.bsky.social
This post has summoned the dinofuckers
November 3, 2025 at 2:25 AM
I think this is an appropriate response to most of the posts featured on @thelouvreof.bsky.social
Making myself a special Halloween breakfast: "Snap through the ditches and crackle through the witches and pop in the back of my Dragula"
October 31, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Making myself a special Halloween breakfast: "Snap through the ditches and crackle through the witches and pop in the back of my Dragula"
Reposted by Johnathan Taylor Goblikon
We must return to tradition. Body pillows with anime characters printed on them will never remind you that they aren't real.
October 28, 2025 at 10:38 AM
We must return to tradition. Body pillows with anime characters printed on them will never remind you that they aren't real.
Well, I was drunk in Croatia and wanted to get a tattoo of Trogdor the Burninator. I told the artist to draw an S, and then another S, and I forgot how the rest went, but he showed me a picture of these cool lightning bolts and... Look, if you don't vote for me...
October 22, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Well, I was drunk in Croatia and wanted to get a tattoo of Trogdor the Burninator. I told the artist to draw an S, and then another S, and I forgot how the rest went, but he showed me a picture of these cool lightning bolts and... Look, if you don't vote for me...
I've seen some scattered accusations about how AltNPS is grifting, but this video does a good job of laying it out concisely. Admittedly they had me fooled for a bit.
The weirdest grift I've ever covered. Having kept my lips tight while preparing for this, I'm ready to be blocked by AltNPS now. I have a lot of people to thank for making this video possible, including those in #AltGov #AltFam. Specific credits and thanks in 🧵
youtu.be/xTLMQbC4vsE
youtu.be/xTLMQbC4vsE
The True Story of AltNPS
YouTube video by Aden Ng
youtu.be
October 20, 2025 at 11:00 PM
I've seen some scattered accusations about how AltNPS is grifting, but this video does a good job of laying it out concisely. Admittedly they had me fooled for a bit.
I can't tell you how many AI pics of Trump as a king I saw today, even couch fucker posted one here. And I think whoever came up with the No Kings theme for today knew Trumpists would react by proudly spitting directly on America's founding principles to own the libs.
Trumpists: You stupid libtards realize No Kings is pointless, right? You Americans don't have a king!
Also Trumpists:
Also Trumpists:
October 19, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I can't tell you how many AI pics of Trump as a king I saw today, even couch fucker posted one here. And I think whoever came up with the No Kings theme for today knew Trumpists would react by proudly spitting directly on America's founding principles to own the libs.
🎉🎉🎉🎉
The anti-American crowd made themselves very easy to find today, it was like shooting sheep in a barrel.
The anti-American crowd made themselves very easy to find today, it was like shooting sheep in a barrel.
October 19, 2025 at 2:18 AM
🎉🎉🎉🎉
The anti-American crowd made themselves very easy to find today, it was like shooting sheep in a barrel.
The anti-American crowd made themselves very easy to find today, it was like shooting sheep in a barrel.
Trumpists: You stupid libtards realize No Kings is pointless, right? You Americans don't have a king!
Also Trumpists:
Also Trumpists:
October 18, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Trumpists: You stupid libtards realize No Kings is pointless, right? You Americans don't have a king!
Also Trumpists:
Also Trumpists:
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. Then, after you get back, dig two more graves. The next day, dig two more graves. This assumes you work at a cemetery.
October 18, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. Then, after you get back, dig two more graves. The next day, dig two more graves. This assumes you work at a cemetery.
Getting T shirts made for my friends and cousins that say "I got kicked in the head by a horse and sustained permanent brain damage at Johnathan's bar mitzvah"
October 17, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Getting T shirts made for my friends and cousins that say "I got kicked in the head by a horse and sustained permanent brain damage at Johnathan's bar mitzvah"