Moldy Pumpkins
@moldypumpkins.bsky.social
Tin foil hats protect aliens from reading your shitposts
Pinned
Moldy Pumpkins
@moldypumpkins.bsky.social
· May 31
Me, in an intersection: And now, please stand for the pledge of allegiance
People in cars: <honk> gid out the fuckin way
Me: Filthy commies...
People in cars: <honk> gid out the fuckin way
Me: Filthy commies...
Fuck Peter Thiel
October 18, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Fuck Peter Thiel
Last night I had a nightmare I was about to be executed for treason. My accusers had an axe and a chopping block ready, and the way I worked through my fear was to be like, "Dudes, that's so inefficient. Like, have you heard of guillotines? Y'all ain't cutting shit with that setup."
October 14, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Last night I had a nightmare I was about to be executed for treason. My accusers had an axe and a chopping block ready, and the way I worked through my fear was to be like, "Dudes, that's so inefficient. Like, have you heard of guillotines? Y'all ain't cutting shit with that setup."
Oh you're having car problems, eh? Let me take a look
...
Yup, as I suspected. I have no idea what's going on.
...
Yup, as I suspected. I have no idea what's going on.
October 14, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Oh you're having car problems, eh? Let me take a look
...
Yup, as I suspected. I have no idea what's going on.
...
Yup, as I suspected. I have no idea what's going on.
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
who the fuck is amoeba earnhardt
October 8, 2025 at 3:33 AM
who the fuck is amoeba earnhardt
I don't think Wyoming should exist as a state. There's not enough people there. We should give it to Colorado
October 3, 2025 at 3:57 PM
I don't think Wyoming should exist as a state. There's not enough people there. We should give it to Colorado
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
It's just "hard", where giving every user account a small internal table of hyperlinks is trivial.
I shouldn't call the people who work hard here goobers but then... I CANT EDIT IT, CAN I??
#editButton. Also a drafts folder would be nice, with autosave. Hate when bsky scraps my post on app-switch
I shouldn't call the people who work hard here goobers but then... I CANT EDIT IT, CAN I??
#editButton. Also a drafts folder would be nice, with autosave. Hate when bsky scraps my post on app-switch
September 9, 2025 at 4:13 AM
It's just "hard", where giving every user account a small internal table of hyperlinks is trivial.
I shouldn't call the people who work hard here goobers but then... I CANT EDIT IT, CAN I??
#editButton. Also a drafts folder would be nice, with autosave. Hate when bsky scraps my post on app-switch
I shouldn't call the people who work hard here goobers but then... I CANT EDIT IT, CAN I??
#editButton. Also a drafts folder would be nice, with autosave. Hate when bsky scraps my post on app-switch
Post a book you love from the 70s
This book is a heartbreaker. As a military brat, I could relate to some of it, but it's a lot harder than my childhood ever was. But I can empathize a little with the strain and clash of beliefs between father and son.
This book is a heartbreaker. As a military brat, I could relate to some of it, but it's a lot harder than my childhood ever was. But I can empathize a little with the strain and clash of beliefs between father and son.
July 14, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Post a book you love from the 70s
This book is a heartbreaker. As a military brat, I could relate to some of it, but it's a lot harder than my childhood ever was. But I can empathize a little with the strain and clash of beliefs between father and son.
This book is a heartbreaker. As a military brat, I could relate to some of it, but it's a lot harder than my childhood ever was. But I can empathize a little with the strain and clash of beliefs between father and son.
Waiting until 5 o'clock to snort adrenochrome. I didn't work today, I just want to wait until the appropriate time of day to do drugs so people don't think less of me.
July 12, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Waiting until 5 o'clock to snort adrenochrome. I didn't work today, I just want to wait until the appropriate time of day to do drugs so people don't think less of me.
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every great woman is that same man back to back. Around them is a pack of wolves. The woman grips a knife, the first wolf attacks
February 20, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every great woman is that same man back to back. Around them is a pack of wolves. The woman grips a knife, the first wolf attacks
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
[the movie Seven but everyone is chickens]
What’s in the bocks?!
What’s in the bocks?!
July 12, 2025 at 5:41 PM
[the movie Seven but everyone is chickens]
What’s in the bocks?!
What’s in the bocks?!
If you're ever pee-shy around someone you hate, just imagine their face is in the toilet and you're peeing on it.
June 5, 2025 at 4:45 AM
If you're ever pee-shy around someone you hate, just imagine their face is in the toilet and you're peeing on it.
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
PROCTOLOGIST: we need to do some follow up scans
ME: but doctor-
PROCTOLOGIST: please stop calling me that
ME: but doctor-
PROCTOLOGIST: please stop calling me that
May 31, 2025 at 12:21 PM
PROCTOLOGIST: we need to do some follow up scans
ME: but doctor-
PROCTOLOGIST: please stop calling me that
ME: but doctor-
PROCTOLOGIST: please stop calling me that
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
I've very much had enough of the redundant outrage.
May 31, 2025 at 12:43 PM
I've very much had enough of the redundant outrage.
It's hard breaking into the shitposting game, but the zero pay and fleeting validation make it worth it
May 31, 2025 at 2:58 PM
It's hard breaking into the shitposting game, but the zero pay and fleeting validation make it worth it
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
[after watching toy story]
general population as a whole: what a heartwarming story.
me: oh fuck what if there’s a snake in MY boot.
general population as a whole: what a heartwarming story.
me: oh fuck what if there’s a snake in MY boot.
May 31, 2025 at 12:34 PM
[after watching toy story]
general population as a whole: what a heartwarming story.
me: oh fuck what if there’s a snake in MY boot.
general population as a whole: what a heartwarming story.
me: oh fuck what if there’s a snake in MY boot.
Inside each person are two woofs. You should feed both of them, they're cute.
www.wallpaperflare.com/static/682/4...
www.wallpaperflare.com/static/682/4...
May 31, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Inside each person are two woofs. You should feed both of them, they're cute.
www.wallpaperflare.com/static/682/4...
www.wallpaperflare.com/static/682/4...
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
I've worn out better welcomes than yours.
May 31, 2025 at 12:15 PM
I've worn out better welcomes than yours.
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
the psychotic sheen of my youth is fading
May 31, 2025 at 9:39 AM
the psychotic sheen of my youth is fading
I am a smaller fractal of this
I reskeet a lot to make up for my shortcomings
May 31, 2025 at 1:42 PM
I am a smaller fractal of this
Reposted by Moldy Pumpkins
Does a goose drive this vibe?
May 31, 2025 at 12:43 PM
Does a goose drive this vibe?
Child: I wonder what I will learn in school today!
ICE: Not so fast, foreign rapist 🥷
ICE: Not so fast, foreign rapist 🥷
May 31, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Child: I wonder what I will learn in school today!
ICE: Not so fast, foreign rapist 🥷
ICE: Not so fast, foreign rapist 🥷
Me, in an intersection: And now, please stand for the pledge of allegiance
People in cars: <honk> gid out the fuckin way
Me: Filthy commies...
People in cars: <honk> gid out the fuckin way
Me: Filthy commies...
May 31, 2025 at 5:38 AM
Me, in an intersection: And now, please stand for the pledge of allegiance
People in cars: <honk> gid out the fuckin way
Me: Filthy commies...
People in cars: <honk> gid out the fuckin way
Me: Filthy commies...
"I just want to feel seen."
-some shitty little dwarf star millions of lightyears away
-some shitty little dwarf star millions of lightyears away
May 31, 2025 at 5:05 AM
"I just want to feel seen."
-some shitty little dwarf star millions of lightyears away
-some shitty little dwarf star millions of lightyears away