alice
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lightupwrists.bsky.social
alice
@lightupwrists.bsky.social
paper bag princess

🏳️‍⚧️ she/her
Reposted by alice
"Hey, we ARE using shit in the kitchen. But don't worry, the actual dishes won't have shit in them. It's just the kitchen where we make the dishes that has the shit."
December 16, 2025 at 5:18 PM
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oh my god miss piggy. oh my god. theyre streaming it on twitch she's crushing his lil geoff live on stream
December 12, 2025 at 2:51 AM
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work–life balance but it’s measured on the same scale they used in the ancient Egyptian “weighing of the heart”, so my workload cannot exceed the spiritual weight of a single feather
December 10, 2025 at 12:07 PM
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-cocks gun- website's haunted
October 24, 2025 at 9:10 PM
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in a deep meditative state willing all the microplastics in my body to form a shape of my choosing (tamagotchi)
October 25, 2023 at 9:15 PM
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getting reticulated must feel so good if you're a spline
October 11, 2025 at 6:33 AM
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September 29, 2025 at 3:56 PM
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trans people just want to be able to live their lives and cis people are like "due to this we need to do mandatory genital inspections to children playing sports". im sorry but the problem is cis people
September 21, 2025 at 4:00 PM
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September 20, 2025 at 4:29 PM
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THEY DEFORMED ME, COOP. REDUCED ME DOWN TO ONLY MY MOST RECOGNIZABLE CHARACTERISTICS. I’M A CUTESY SHELL OF MY FORMER SELF. THE BOYS AT QUANTICO ARE CALLING ME A “CHEE-BEE.” I’M SEVEN CENTIMETERS TALL, COOP. 150 GRAMS OF VINYL PLASTIC.
September 20, 2025 at 1:17 PM
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I'd like to see your email try to find me
September 19, 2025 at 2:32 PM
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the angel on my right shoulder: maybe we should put the phone down

the devil on my left shoulder: (wearing backwards hat) keep scrollin scrollin scrollin scrollin WHAT
September 14, 2025 at 8:15 PM
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September 17, 2025 at 10:10 AM
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some of you have never used an airhorn & it blows . some of you have never used AAA & it tows.
some of you have never used a light stick & it glows . some of you have never used an overhead bin & it stows . some of you have n
September 10, 2025 at 2:25 PM
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pharmacists need to start inventing soda pops again. i know you've got Ritalin back there. What are you even doing all day?
September 9, 2025 at 6:45 AM
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hovering 6-8 inches off the ground and moving to and fro as if a haunted spectre could fix me
September 5, 2025 at 12:02 AM
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a Zoom plugin that plays a continuous airhorn when a meeting goes over time until everyone logs off
September 4, 2025 at 7:03 PM
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September 3, 2025 at 6:17 AM
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Transphobes would have a lot less reach on here if everyone stopped arguing with them and quoting their posts to dunk on them, they don't give a rat's ass about your arguments and enjoy wasting your time.
September 1, 2025 at 2:39 AM
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Might fade slowly into the background soon
September 1, 2025 at 12:06 PM
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i think about this tweet every single day
August 18, 2025 at 3:35 AM
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can calculators get horny for big naturals? big tech wrestles with the “80085” question of our time
August 26, 2025 at 12:34 PM
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"Gavin Newsom is America's Keir Starmer" is perhaps the most devastating thing that has ever been or could ever be said about an American.
Seeing people in the US of States glazing Newsom's dank memes and being all "Gavin slayyyy" is giving Starmer Fever 2024 and, American pals, it's equally embarrassing to witness.
August 24, 2025 at 8:55 AM
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when the AI bubble finally collapses and everyone who spent a year smugly hyping it suddenly has to come crawling back with their tail between their legs, i just want to say i am not going to be the bigger person about it. i am going to be meaner than you can even believe
August 20, 2025 at 3:19 PM