Sooz Kempner
@soozuk.bsky.social
"Comedian". Doom in Doctor Who. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social & Long Distance, Bit Weird (https://longdistancebitweird.podbean.com)
Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries/brand partnerships: info@gagreflex.co.uk
she/her
Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries/brand partnerships: info@gagreflex.co.uk
she/her
Pinned
✨LONG DISTANCE, BIT WEIRD✨
@mbalazo.bsky.social and I decided to bring out the fourth episode a day early! In our first show of 2026 I introduce Michael to British Disney aka Watership Down. He hasn't been the same since.
Available wherever you get podcasts.
🎧 longdistancebitweird.podbean.com 🎧
@mbalazo.bsky.social and I decided to bring out the fourth episode a day early! In our first show of 2026 I introduce Michael to British Disney aka Watership Down. He hasn't been the same since.
Available wherever you get podcasts.
🎧 longdistancebitweird.podbean.com 🎧
This Dutch dressage horse that’s for sale looks like it was photographed in a residential area of Bromley.
January 3, 2026 at 2:12 PM
This Dutch dressage horse that’s for sale looks like it was photographed in a residential area of Bromley.
I haven't seen a single joke about the FIFA Peace Prize today that hasn't been top drawer. Really good stuff, all enjoyable, great work, everyone!
January 3, 2026 at 2:08 PM
I haven't seen a single joke about the FIFA Peace Prize today that hasn't been top drawer. Really good stuff, all enjoyable, great work, everyone!
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
come on, guys, it would be so cool if this happened
I'm allowed a sweet little dream where the most evil people on the planet are taken down by emails written by a peadophile who types like an absolute moron. Piece of shit politicians, journalists, celebrities...one by one. In my mind it's basically the House of the Rising Sun sequence from Casino.
January 3, 2026 at 1:41 PM
come on, guys, it would be so cool if this happened
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Trump doing Bush and Reagan shit, Liberals: this is unprecedented, why can’t a president respect the rule of law like Ronald Reagan or George W. Bush?
Ahhhhhhh!
Ahhhhhhh!
January 3, 2026 at 12:34 PM
Trump doing Bush and Reagan shit, Liberals: this is unprecedented, why can’t a president respect the rule of law like Ronald Reagan or George W. Bush?
Ahhhhhhh!
Ahhhhhhh!
I look like a haughty old cynic but I'm actually bogged down by my unyielding hope. I will never stop going "maybe THIS will be what makes believe in better". Oh my GOD it sucks so bad, I wish my bar was as low as a centrist's, I'd never feel guilt, shame or frustration. IMAGINE!
January 3, 2026 at 1:09 PM
I look like a haughty old cynic but I'm actually bogged down by my unyielding hope. I will never stop going "maybe THIS will be what makes believe in better". Oh my GOD it sucks so bad, I wish my bar was as low as a centrist's, I'd never feel guilt, shame or frustration. IMAGINE!
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
So, to clarify, spray-painting a plane is terrorism, holding a sign to support the organisation those that spray-painted the plane were members of is terrorism, but taking a foreign head of state hostage needs to wait for a press conference from the hostage taker for nuance?
Keir Starmer says he wants to establish facts by *watching Donald Trumps press conference.*
People said giving him a second state visit was a genius move of strategy - really seems to have paid off.
Special relationship - alive and kicking.
People said giving him a second state visit was a genius move of strategy - really seems to have paid off.
Special relationship - alive and kicking.
January 3, 2026 at 12:59 PM
So, to clarify, spray-painting a plane is terrorism, holding a sign to support the organisation those that spray-painted the plane were members of is terrorism, but taking a foreign head of state hostage needs to wait for a press conference from the hostage taker for nuance?
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
"it's a public forum" means nothing. it doesn't give you extra entitlement to people's time or interaction. they are well within their rights to tell you to fuck off
January 3, 2026 at 10:00 AM
"it's a public forum" means nothing. it doesn't give you extra entitlement to people's time or interaction. they are well within their rights to tell you to fuck off
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
"Donald Trump MUST be impeached!" ok sure but he was impeached last time, twice, and just...sort of just...became President again after a little break, so...ok...but it all works out fine for him.
March 21, 2025 at 3:30 PM
"Donald Trump MUST be impeached!" ok sure but he was impeached last time, twice, and just...sort of just...became President again after a little break, so...ok...but it all works out fine for him.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
The US has launched an unprovoked and illegal attack on Venezuela.
This is a brazen attempt to secure control over Venezuelan natural resources.
It is an act of war that puts the lives of millions of people at risk, and should be condemned by anyone who believes in sovereignty & international law.
This is a brazen attempt to secure control over Venezuelan natural resources.
It is an act of war that puts the lives of millions of people at risk, and should be condemned by anyone who believes in sovereignty & international law.
January 3, 2026 at 10:26 AM
The US has launched an unprovoked and illegal attack on Venezuela.
This is a brazen attempt to secure control over Venezuelan natural resources.
It is an act of war that puts the lives of millions of people at risk, and should be condemned by anyone who believes in sovereignty & international law.
This is a brazen attempt to secure control over Venezuelan natural resources.
It is an act of war that puts the lives of millions of people at risk, and should be condemned by anyone who believes in sovereignty & international law.
The problem with "we need to get back to normal" is that's what Biden's 2020 win was and you got: more Trump. You won't defeat Modern Fascism That Was Able To Thrive In This System with more of: this system. I know you're glazing Newsome and Buttigieg but they're a one-way ticket to Tucker 2032.
January 3, 2026 at 12:41 PM
The problem with "we need to get back to normal" is that's what Biden's 2020 win was and you got: more Trump. You won't defeat Modern Fascism That Was Able To Thrive In This System with more of: this system. I know you're glazing Newsome and Buttigieg but they're a one-way ticket to Tucker 2032.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Even if Farage was our PM, I wouldn’t support a foreign regime swooping in and kidnapping him
I guess that’s the difference between people who care about human rights and international laws, and people drunk on ideology with no moral compass
I guess that’s the difference between people who care about human rights and international laws, and people drunk on ideology with no moral compass
January 3, 2026 at 12:31 PM
Even if Farage was our PM, I wouldn’t support a foreign regime swooping in and kidnapping him
I guess that’s the difference between people who care about human rights and international laws, and people drunk on ideology with no moral compass
I guess that’s the difference between people who care about human rights and international laws, and people drunk on ideology with no moral compass
Guys guys guys.....they're BOTH hawks.
January 3, 2026 at 12:20 PM
Guys guys guys.....they're BOTH hawks.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Reminder that George W Bush had the elected president of Haiti kidnapped and flung him into Central Africa.
January 3, 2026 at 12:11 PM
Reminder that George W Bush had the elected president of Haiti kidnapped and flung him into Central Africa.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
"Never thought I'd say this but I miss George W Bush" fucking shut the fuck up forever oh my god you suuuuck you'll keep us in this liquid shit for a thousand fucking years
thank you for letting me do this, that felt amazing
thank you for letting me do this, that felt amazing
January 3, 2026 at 12:17 PM
"Never thought I'd say this but I miss George W Bush" fucking shut the fuck up forever oh my god you suuuuck you'll keep us in this liquid shit for a thousand fucking years
thank you for letting me do this, that felt amazing
thank you for letting me do this, that felt amazing
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
The consequences for lying us into Iraq were not only “nothing” but outright rehabilitation of Bush as a “compassionate conservative” who was part of a noble dying breed so why should anyone waste the time justifying this one
I feel like I haven’t even been properly lied to about the purposes of this war
January 3, 2026 at 12:02 PM
The consequences for lying us into Iraq were not only “nothing” but outright rehabilitation of Bush as a “compassionate conservative” who was part of a noble dying breed so why should anyone waste the time justifying this one
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Surely nobody is this stupid. *Yes*, we will say that: we will roar, screech, foam at the mouth and squeal, and if any notable says “Isn’t this a bit like the US kidnapping the leader of Venezuela” then our politicians and media outlets will unify to scream abuse at them, too. Yet again!
January 3, 2026 at 11:45 AM
Surely nobody is this stupid. *Yes*, we will say that: we will roar, screech, foam at the mouth and squeal, and if any notable says “Isn’t this a bit like the US kidnapping the leader of Venezuela” then our politicians and media outlets will unify to scream abuse at them, too. Yet again!
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
american liberals are disgusting istg: all you can think about is what trump thinks, how trump sees things... look at things face on for once.
imperialist warfare is not a "distraction" because it is the thing its *most important* that we oppose
imperialist warfare is not a "distraction" because it is the thing its *most important* that we oppose
January 3, 2026 at 11:41 AM
american liberals are disgusting istg: all you can think about is what trump thinks, how trump sees things... look at things face on for once.
imperialist warfare is not a "distraction" because it is the thing its *most important* that we oppose
imperialist warfare is not a "distraction" because it is the thing its *most important* that we oppose
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Curse the idea of a "Dead cat on the table" spreading, it means now every bit of stupid shit becomes in people's minds part of a bigger tactic, and not just some more stupid shit.
I've seen no less than FIVE takes now suggesting this is "just a distraction from the Epstein Files" and, seriously, stfu. Please.
January 3, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Curse the idea of a "Dead cat on the table" spreading, it means now every bit of stupid shit becomes in people's minds part of a bigger tactic, and not just some more stupid shit.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
RIP Dick Cheney, you would have finally found something to like about the Trump presidency (illegally overthrowing a government for oil)
January 3, 2026 at 10:56 AM
RIP Dick Cheney, you would have finally found something to like about the Trump presidency (illegally overthrowing a government for oil)
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
2/ ~old jk is best jk~
January 3, 2026 at 10:12 AM
2/ ~old jk is best jk~
Horse eating spaghetti through the window sure why not.
January 3, 2026 at 10:39 AM
Horse eating spaghetti through the window sure why not.
I've seen no less than FIVE takes now suggesting this is "just a distraction from the Epstein Files" and, seriously, stfu. Please.
January 3, 2026 at 10:34 AM
I've seen no less than FIVE takes now suggesting this is "just a distraction from the Epstein Files" and, seriously, stfu. Please.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
A good reminder of how major media outlets inflated and outright lied about the famous toppling of the Saddam statue in Firdos Square in 2004, which was a carefully stage-managed propaganda operation conducted by the U.S. military.
The Toppling: How the Media Inflated the Fall of Saddam's Statue in Firdos Square
How saturation media coverage of the toppling of Saddam Hussein's statue in Firdos Square fueled the perception that the war had been won and diverted attention from what in reality was just the start...
www.propublica.org
January 3, 2026 at 10:22 AM
A good reminder of how major media outlets inflated and outright lied about the famous toppling of the Saddam statue in Firdos Square in 2004, which was a carefully stage-managed propaganda operation conducted by the U.S. military.