Kris
@krissimonsen.com
Reposted by Kris
The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow
December 6, 2025 at 4:29 AM
The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow
Reposted by Kris
if you see anyone expressing shock that a candidate who exudes warmth and authenticity and wants to improve the quality of life for working class people won over a rapist whose entire campaign was
"that guys a terrorist" that's not a smart person. you don't have to listen to that person anymore.
"that guys a terrorist" that's not a smart person. you don't have to listen to that person anymore.
November 5, 2025 at 4:12 PM
if you see anyone expressing shock that a candidate who exudes warmth and authenticity and wants to improve the quality of life for working class people won over a rapist whose entire campaign was
"that guys a terrorist" that's not a smart person. you don't have to listen to that person anymore.
"that guys a terrorist" that's not a smart person. you don't have to listen to that person anymore.
Reposted by Kris
they really kinda nailed it when they named the blimp
November 2, 2025 at 3:07 PM
they really kinda nailed it when they named the blimp
Reposted by Kris
who creates the lively art and music scenes if the rent is too high? who makes cultural life? who serves you food or washes your dishes? who creates the fancy little restaurants that draw you to urban living? affordable housing is at the heart of what makes city life worthwhile.
October 26, 2025 at 6:04 AM
who creates the lively art and music scenes if the rent is too high? who makes cultural life? who serves you food or washes your dishes? who creates the fancy little restaurants that draw you to urban living? affordable housing is at the heart of what makes city life worthwhile.
Reposted by Kris
idk why i noticed this but these crabs and celebrities look like they share a stylist: thread
October 24, 2025 at 10:21 PM
idk why i noticed this but these crabs and celebrities look like they share a stylist: thread
Reposted by Kris
You’ve gotta imagine Seattle native Sir Mix-A-Lot is having the time of his life watching Cal Raleigh
October 18, 2025 at 12:52 AM
You’ve gotta imagine Seattle native Sir Mix-A-Lot is having the time of his life watching Cal Raleigh
Max Scherzer "the oldest old man to ever play, exceeding all expectations despite his geriatric state," and he's exactly the same age as me.
October 17, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Max Scherzer "the oldest old man to ever play, exceeding all expectations despite his geriatric state," and he's exactly the same age as me.
Reposted by Kris
What the fuck do you mean I got a longer prison sentence than Diddy
NEW YORK (AP) — Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs sentenced to 4 years and 2 months in prison in case involving sex workers, violence and ‘freak-offs’.
October 3, 2025 at 9:40 PM
What the fuck do you mean I got a longer prison sentence than Diddy
Just got a literal phishing text
October 1, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Just got a literal phishing text
Reposted by Kris
Trump just ordered the military into Portland, and he’s giving them the green light to use lethal force on American citizens.
Authoritarianism is an abstract concept but Trump is making its impacts real and tangible. Let’s be real about it: This is the beginning of dictatorship in America.
Authoritarianism is an abstract concept but Trump is making its impacts real and tangible. Let’s be real about it: This is the beginning of dictatorship in America.
September 27, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Trump just ordered the military into Portland, and he’s giving them the green light to use lethal force on American citizens.
Authoritarianism is an abstract concept but Trump is making its impacts real and tangible. Let’s be real about it: This is the beginning of dictatorship in America.
Authoritarianism is an abstract concept but Trump is making its impacts real and tangible. Let’s be real about it: This is the beginning of dictatorship in America.
Reposted by Kris
Speaking officially as the host of Jeopardy!, Cal Raleigh is the correct MVP vote.
September 25, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Speaking officially as the host of Jeopardy!, Cal Raleigh is the correct MVP vote.
Reposted by Kris
the world’s on fire but my baseball team has a catcher with a huge butt and 58 home runs
September 21, 2025 at 11:40 PM
the world’s on fire but my baseball team has a catcher with a huge butt and 58 home runs
Reposted by Kris
They are literally canceling culture
September 18, 2025 at 12:26 AM
They are literally canceling culture
Reposted by Kris
This is extrajudicial execution, without any clear threat to the US, no authorization from Congress, and far beyond even Article II. The military is not the president's personal hit squad.
Or wasn't, until now.
Or wasn't, until now.
The US military killed three people in another deadly strike on a vessel in international waters around South America allegedly "transporting illegal narcotics" from Venezuela, President Donald Trump said in a Truth Social post. https://cnn.it/4na60EM
September 15, 2025 at 9:15 PM
This is extrajudicial execution, without any clear threat to the US, no authorization from Congress, and far beyond even Article II. The military is not the president's personal hit squad.
Or wasn't, until now.
Or wasn't, until now.
Reposted by Kris
creative work from tender or dark or uncertain or difficult moments can be profound. you probably already know this. if an impulse strikes and you're able to move on it, consider this encouragement to do that. please, keep going, we need you. /x
September 11, 2025 at 7:47 PM
creative work from tender or dark or uncertain or difficult moments can be profound. you probably already know this. if an impulse strikes and you're able to move on it, consider this encouragement to do that. please, keep going, we need you. /x
Reposted by Kris
“Black women do not have the brain processing power to be taken seriously. You have to go steal a white person’s slot”.
-Charlie Kirk
-Charlie Kirk
September 11, 2025 at 1:40 AM
“Black women do not have the brain processing power to be taken seriously. You have to go steal a white person’s slot”.
-Charlie Kirk
-Charlie Kirk
Reposted by Kris
you know what? fuck it. theremin mode. github.com/samhenrigold...
September 6, 2025 at 11:04 PM
you know what? fuck it. theremin mode. github.com/samhenrigold...
Reposted by Kris
Reposted by Kris
This video from Fairmount Bagels in Montreal from their Instagram is the most impressive thing I've ever seen
August 15, 2025 at 7:00 PM
This video from Fairmount Bagels in Montreal from their Instagram is the most impressive thing I've ever seen
Reposted by Kris
Look, we all have our criticisms of RFK Jr. but you have to admit that he proves conclusively that there is no god
August 8, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Look, we all have our criticisms of RFK Jr. but you have to admit that he proves conclusively that there is no god
Reposted by Kris
I know Tim Cook is just trying to protect his company but saying the president is a “well endowed and quite generous lover” seems a bit too far
August 7, 2025 at 9:27 PM
I know Tim Cook is just trying to protect his company but saying the president is a “well endowed and quite generous lover” seems a bit too far
Reposted by Kris
I am grieving the barbarism that is going to unfurl from all this. People are going to die. Livelihoods gone. All to feed a corrupt kleptocracy.
I see every day up close how different it is from the first time around. There are no guardrails. A disaster. I’m sorry we have to live through this.
I see every day up close how different it is from the first time around. There are no guardrails. A disaster. I’m sorry we have to live through this.
July 3, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I am grieving the barbarism that is going to unfurl from all this. People are going to die. Livelihoods gone. All to feed a corrupt kleptocracy.
I see every day up close how different it is from the first time around. There are no guardrails. A disaster. I’m sorry we have to live through this.
I see every day up close how different it is from the first time around. There are no guardrails. A disaster. I’m sorry we have to live through this.
Reposted by Kris
$45 billion for ethnic cleansing
It’s one thing to say they want to deport 20 million people, it’s even one thing to go nuts brazenly doing whatever you can as the executive branch to make it happen, but the fact that they’re going to give ICE an additional 45B shows how committed they are to seeing this through.
July 1, 2025 at 6:16 PM
$45 billion for ethnic cleansing