Maroon 5 voice:

This! Horse! Is!
Kicking my dad to death,
Kids say goodbye,
No grampa anymooore,

i am still laughing about "Caricature Japan Kiyomizu Ninenzaka Store" which is a caricature place i walked by in kyoto and where i took this photo of two people happily posing with one of the cruellest caricatures i've ever seen

That’s incomplete, he only got 2 of his 3 feet down inbounds

Circle K has what can only be described as “Saints Row Food”

when someone says they’re feeling fulfilled it’s like okay you’re full I understand that— oh and you’re filled as well, didn’t you just say that, bitch

What the hell were they smoking when they invented drinking songs

Conscientious SUV Shopper Just Wants Something That Will Kill Family In Other Car In Case Of Accident theonion.com/conscie...

i saw yoda fall off a bar stool and when he hit the floor a box of good & plenty candy under his robes went scattering everywhere. he was crawling around trying to pick it all up and the bouncer was yelling at him thinking it was drugs but stopped once he realized. everyone just kinda watched

You don’t need to wash your water bottle. It’s already been washed by the water you drank out of it

here’s the link to submit photos to the america pac. there are a lot of cool photos you could submit here. one good option might be a man photographed from behind stretching an unusual part of his body. not gonna be prescriptive here but this is a great opportunity

Mr. Musk died after his gold chain was caught in a ceiling fan set to low speed while he was doing his signature "X" jump. Aides reportedly did not render aid to the gradually garrotted CEO as he maintained a "devil may care" sense of mirth through his final moments. The ordeal lasted four hours.

Bummed. The popular young nephew I've been preparing to rule after me has died under mysterious circumstances. Gonna cry on the shoulder of his charmless but ambitious brother, who was first to offer condolences to me

I've noticed a lot of old people have ugly dogs. Do better!

lmfao

well you see, this is what winning teams do. they squeak out miracle wins on freak bullshit endings over and over because they actually kind of suck

Jason Garrett describing Jerry Seinfeld on Jimmy Fallon as “must see TV” got me feeling nauseous

Finally Haliburton’s shot is as accurate as it looks.

@stefanheck.bsky.social