Keith Denchfield
@keithdenchfield.bsky.social
People’s Republic of Hernebaynia
Teacher of maths, creator of smelly sports wear
Unashamedly woke he/him
Teacher of maths, creator of smelly sports wear
Unashamedly woke he/him
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
Can’t believe the same thing might bring them down
November 16, 2025 at 7:27 AM
Can’t believe the same thing might bring them down
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
"... I mean its not even real paedophilia unless its from the nonce region of France, otherwise its just sparkly diddling."
November 15, 2025 at 7:33 PM
"... I mean its not even real paedophilia unless its from the nonce region of France, otherwise its just sparkly diddling."
Just met a woman with a dog called Nigel…
November 15, 2025 at 7:20 AM
Just met a woman with a dog called Nigel…
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
From this day in 2013.
November 14, 2025 at 9:55 AM
From this day in 2013.
I’ve told my friend not to pursue his career in baking wedding cakes.
I just know it’ll end in tiers.
I just know it’ll end in tiers.
November 14, 2025 at 7:59 AM
I’ve told my friend not to pursue his career in baking wedding cakes.
I just know it’ll end in tiers.
I just know it’ll end in tiers.
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
This is Richard Smith of the South Durham Hunt and he thinks it’s ok to hit a horse over the head. Make this ‘man’ famous.
Filmed by North East Hunt Monitors on 08/11/25
Filmed by North East Hunt Monitors on 08/11/25
November 13, 2025 at 6:04 PM
This is Richard Smith of the South Durham Hunt and he thinks it’s ok to hit a horse over the head. Make this ‘man’ famous.
Filmed by North East Hunt Monitors on 08/11/25
Filmed by North East Hunt Monitors on 08/11/25
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
![[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]
JANET:
Ugh...
LIZ:
What's up?
JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!
LIZ:
Have you tried...
AI peas?
JANET:
AI peas?
LIZ:
They're peas with AI!
[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].
LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas
JANET:
What
LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]
Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?
[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]
LIZ:
Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine
[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]
LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!
JANET:
What
LIZ:
Shut up
LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow
From opening the bag of peas
to boiling the peas
to eating the peas
To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.
JANET:
Is it really necessary to-
LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET
[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:
AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayqa37f7kik7l7s7fbtfp2sir5ckb662ry2lylinyjrfa2rkvvka@jpeg)
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
2011 - In the Situation Room, President Obama oversees the attempt to capture Osama bin Laden
2025 - In the Situation Room, President Trump attempts to convince a woman who was thrown out of Beetlejuice: The Musical for allegedly wanking off her boyfriend, to not vote to release the Epstein files
2025 - In the Situation Room, President Trump attempts to convince a woman who was thrown out of Beetlejuice: The Musical for allegedly wanking off her boyfriend, to not vote to release the Epstein files
November 12, 2025 at 7:23 PM
2011 - In the Situation Room, President Obama oversees the attempt to capture Osama bin Laden
2025 - In the Situation Room, President Trump attempts to convince a woman who was thrown out of Beetlejuice: The Musical for allegedly wanking off her boyfriend, to not vote to release the Epstein files
2025 - In the Situation Room, President Trump attempts to convince a woman who was thrown out of Beetlejuice: The Musical for allegedly wanking off her boyfriend, to not vote to release the Epstein files
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
November 12, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Take the phone away from specific people- JKR for example otherwise wtp? And RD?
November 10, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Take the phone away from specific people- JKR for example otherwise wtp? And RD?
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
the bbc should be forced to replay the whole day’s coverage of january 6th in full every january 6th, exactly as it was broadcast at the time, so no-one can accuse them of misleadingly editing it
November 9, 2025 at 9:17 PM
the bbc should be forced to replay the whole day’s coverage of january 6th in full every january 6th, exactly as it was broadcast at the time, so no-one can accuse them of misleadingly editing it
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
Local firework displays are in full swing and upsetting my cat. He hates fireworks - not because of the noise - he just can't stand the thought of people enjoying themselves.
November 8, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Local firework displays are in full swing and upsetting my cat. He hates fireworks - not because of the noise - he just can't stand the thought of people enjoying themselves.
Where’s your fucking poppy?
November 8, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Where’s your fucking poppy?
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
White House Maid Shrieks After Spotting Melania On Ceiling
White House Maid Shrieks After Spotting Melania On Ceiling
WASHINGTON—Expressing horror as an unidentified slimy substance dripped on her shoulder from above, White House maid Carla Ovares reportedly shrieked Tuesday after spotting first lady Melania Trump on...
theonion.com
November 8, 2025 at 7:00 AM
White House Maid Shrieks After Spotting Melania On Ceiling
Maybe that I’m getting old but unlike the new Disclosure track (possibly cos Chris Lake)
November 8, 2025 at 6:55 AM
Maybe that I’m getting old but unlike the new Disclosure track (possibly cos Chris Lake)
Bluesky rule no. 1
Never use a rhetorical question and don’t expect a literal answer
Never use a rhetorical question and don’t expect a literal answer
Without googling it, name a red city with a population greater than 250K.
Ahhhh, yes. The great red cities. 😂
November 8, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Bluesky rule no. 1
Never use a rhetorical question and don’t expect a literal answer
Never use a rhetorical question and don’t expect a literal answer
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
succubus - female demon that seduces men
incubus - male demon that seduces women
vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
incubus - male demon that seduces women
vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
November 6, 2025 at 3:38 PM
succubus - female demon that seduces men
incubus - male demon that seduces women
vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
incubus - male demon that seduces women
vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
Cllr Hudson (Con) tries to raise a point of order. The Chair doesn't allow it, which is against procedure.
Cllr Hudson says "don't worry about it. We'll listen to the bullshit." Yikes.
Cllr Hudson says "don't worry about it. We'll listen to the bullshit." Yikes.
November 6, 2025 at 11:27 AM
Cllr Hudson (Con) tries to raise a point of order. The Chair doesn't allow it, which is against procedure.
Cllr Hudson says "don't worry about it. We'll listen to the bullshit." Yikes.
Cllr Hudson says "don't worry about it. We'll listen to the bullshit." Yikes.
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
I have the memory of an elephant. It was grey, I think.
November 5, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I have the memory of an elephant. It was grey, I think.
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
Ahhh, nicely done New York - that's the stuff. Have this absolute jungle madness from Mark Broom's DJ set at Autechre last night to celebrate 🥳
November 5, 2025 at 8:13 AM
Ahhh, nicely done New York - that's the stuff. Have this absolute jungle madness from Mark Broom's DJ set at Autechre last night to celebrate 🥳
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
What he said: 💯 🎯
November 1, 2025 at 6:55 PM
What he said: 💯 🎯
Reposted by Keith Denchfield
Spotted outside Pizza Express in Woking…
November 1, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Spotted outside Pizza Express in Woking…
Three years after her passing I hear Queen and think of Liz
Three days after having his titles removed and I think “still a nonce”
Three days after having his titles removed and I think “still a nonce”
November 1, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Three years after her passing I hear Queen and think of Liz
Three days after having his titles removed and I think “still a nonce”
Three days after having his titles removed and I think “still a nonce”
October 31, 2025 at 5:38 PM