jordan
@jordangerous.bsky.social
Pinned
jordan
@jordangerous.bsky.social
· Oct 19
Person: So, how would you describe yourself?
Me: Verbally, I guess.
Me: Verbally, I guess.
Hey siri send Venmo requests for money to every fuckboy I have ever dated
November 15, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Hey siri send Venmo requests for money to every fuckboy I have ever dated
Reposted by jordan
Feeling kind of bored, might seduce, unmask, and dox an ice agent
November 14, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Feeling kind of bored, might seduce, unmask, and dox an ice agent
Bill Clinton: hey Siri, play slob on my knob by three 6 mafia.
November 14, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Bill Clinton: hey Siri, play slob on my knob by three 6 mafia.
I wonder if anyone else in the school pick up line right now has a gas tank on E or if I’m the only loser
November 14, 2025 at 9:17 PM
I wonder if anyone else in the school pick up line right now has a gas tank on E or if I’m the only loser
Feeling kind of bored, might seduce, unmask, and dox an ice agent
November 14, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Feeling kind of bored, might seduce, unmask, and dox an ice agent
Reposted by jordan
[first date]
ME: How do you spend your free time?
HER: I read a lot. I enjoy studying the big questions. Like... Do we have free will? Does God exist? Is our universe real? What do you think about?
ME: I've always wondered how Dumbo's hat stayed on when he was flying.
ME: How do you spend your free time?
HER: I read a lot. I enjoy studying the big questions. Like... Do we have free will? Does God exist? Is our universe real? What do you think about?
ME: I've always wondered how Dumbo's hat stayed on when he was flying.
November 13, 2025 at 6:47 PM
[first date]
ME: How do you spend your free time?
HER: I read a lot. I enjoy studying the big questions. Like... Do we have free will? Does God exist? Is our universe real? What do you think about?
ME: I've always wondered how Dumbo's hat stayed on when he was flying.
ME: How do you spend your free time?
HER: I read a lot. I enjoy studying the big questions. Like... Do we have free will? Does God exist? Is our universe real? What do you think about?
ME: I've always wondered how Dumbo's hat stayed on when he was flying.
Reposted by jordan
Who wants to send me grocery and bill money?! Come onnnn, universe.
November 14, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Who wants to send me grocery and bill money?! Come onnnn, universe.
Reposted by jordan
ouroboreos
oh wow that’s crazy
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
November 13, 2025 at 10:13 PM
ouroboreos
Reposted by jordan
You have 2 days to take your soul out of the freezer if you want it to thaw by Thanksgiving
November 13, 2025 at 9:51 PM
You have 2 days to take your soul out of the freezer if you want it to thaw by Thanksgiving
Reposted by jordan
*sexting* Hah! Gross
November 14, 2025 at 2:10 AM
*sexting* Hah! Gross
Who wants to send me grocery and bill money?! Come onnnn, universe.
November 14, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Who wants to send me grocery and bill money?! Come onnnn, universe.
Some of you never watched Def Comedy Jam and it shows
November 13, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Some of you never watched Def Comedy Jam and it shows
It’s always “I wanna post a banger” and never “I wanna bang a poster”.
November 13, 2025 at 9:03 PM
It’s always “I wanna post a banger” and never “I wanna bang a poster”.
Reposted by jordan
I posted a banger but everyone is at work: a terrorist manifesto
November 13, 2025 at 5:09 PM
I posted a banger but everyone is at work: a terrorist manifesto
Reposted by jordan
Just a shoutout of thanks and recognition to my sexier followers. You are the REAL heroes.
November 13, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Just a shoutout of thanks and recognition to my sexier followers. You are the REAL heroes.
Reposted by jordan
Sometimes I worry my cat is tweeting about how disappointing I am.
November 13, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Sometimes I worry my cat is tweeting about how disappointing I am.
Please, God, I can’t take another Wicked press tour.
November 13, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Please, God, I can’t take another Wicked press tour.
I’m so checked out of my job that I’m
basically just there to mog everyone on the morning Teams meeting at this point.
basically just there to mog everyone on the morning Teams meeting at this point.
November 13, 2025 at 4:57 PM
I’m so checked out of my job that I’m
basically just there to mog everyone on the morning Teams meeting at this point.
basically just there to mog everyone on the morning Teams meeting at this point.
Later, we’ll have some fucking pie and we’ll do some caroling.
November 13, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Later, we’ll have some fucking pie and we’ll do some caroling.
Reposted by jordan
I would rather deep clean a Waffle House toilet with nothing but my toothbrush.
November 12, 2025 at 6:05 PM
I would rather deep clean a Waffle House toilet with nothing but my toothbrush.
Reposted by jordan
The difference between cucumbers and pickles is jarring.
May 29, 2025 at 8:11 PM
The difference between cucumbers and pickles is jarring.
I would rather deep clean a Waffle House toilet with nothing but my toothbrush.
November 12, 2025 at 6:05 PM
I would rather deep clean a Waffle House toilet with nothing but my toothbrush.
Back in my day, a banger was a porn star with that looked like a walrus but had a huge dong.
November 12, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Back in my day, a banger was a porn star with that looked like a walrus but had a huge dong.
Reposted by jordan
Give us this day our daily bangers
November 12, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Give us this day our daily bangers
Reposted by jordan
i’m doing balloon animals for the party tonight hope everyone likes worms
November 8, 2025 at 12:16 AM
i’m doing balloon animals for the party tonight hope everyone likes worms