jordan
@jordangerous.bsky.social
Pinned
jordan
@jordangerous.bsky.social
· Oct 19
Person: So, how would you describe yourself?
Me: Verbally, I guess.
Me: Verbally, I guess.
Getting hollered at by much younger men in public lately. wtf is going on?
November 11, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Getting hollered at by much younger men in public lately. wtf is going on?
Reposted by jordan
*removes gag ball to make Face ID purchase
November 9, 2025 at 12:58 AM
*removes gag ball to make Face ID purchase
I am like thisclose to quitting my job
November 10, 2025 at 11:03 PM
I am like thisclose to quitting my job
Reposted by jordan
[movie studio]
ME: BUT HOW DOES THE INVISIBLE MAN KNOW WHEN TO STOP WIPING?
TOUR GUIDE: *into walkie talkie* code orange, he’s back.
ME: BUT HOW DOES THE INVISIBLE MAN KNOW WHEN TO STOP WIPING?
TOUR GUIDE: *into walkie talkie* code orange, he’s back.
November 10, 2025 at 6:57 PM
[movie studio]
ME: BUT HOW DOES THE INVISIBLE MAN KNOW WHEN TO STOP WIPING?
TOUR GUIDE: *into walkie talkie* code orange, he’s back.
ME: BUT HOW DOES THE INVISIBLE MAN KNOW WHEN TO STOP WIPING?
TOUR GUIDE: *into walkie talkie* code orange, he’s back.
Reposted by jordan
The only thing I love more than making plans with friends is cancelling them.
November 10, 2025 at 5:12 PM
The only thing I love more than making plans with friends is cancelling them.
John Fetterman I hope a bird shits on your bald ass head every day of your life, you Lurch looking ass, Dumbo-eared BITCH
November 10, 2025 at 5:21 PM
John Fetterman I hope a bird shits on your bald ass head every day of your life, you Lurch looking ass, Dumbo-eared BITCH
Reposted by jordan
accidentally wore my i’m a pussy ass bitch t-shirt and now i’m in congress
November 10, 2025 at 5:17 PM
accidentally wore my i’m a pussy ass bitch t-shirt and now i’m in congress
They say you should turn your passion into profit so I guess I’m a hitman now?
November 10, 2025 at 5:17 PM
They say you should turn your passion into profit so I guess I’m a hitman now?
Reposted by jordan
Therapy isn’t enough. I need to fight God.
January 26, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Therapy isn’t enough. I need to fight God.
Reposted by jordan
not to brag but my B.O. smells exactly like Taco Bell
November 10, 2025 at 2:48 PM
not to brag but my B.O. smells exactly like Taco Bell
The only thing I love more than making plans with friends is cancelling them.
November 10, 2025 at 5:12 PM
The only thing I love more than making plans with friends is cancelling them.
Reposted by jordan
You’re under the weather? We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.
October 18, 2025 at 2:51 PM
You’re under the weather? We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.
Who do I know that has tickets to the UFC fight this weekend at MSG in NY and wants a hot date?
November 10, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Who do I know that has tickets to the UFC fight this weekend at MSG in NY and wants a hot date?
Kid wanted to use his allowance on vinyl and I love to support local businesses. Win-win.
November 10, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Kid wanted to use his allowance on vinyl and I love to support local businesses. Win-win.
Reposted by jordan
Can someone buy the record player stand on my wishlist?! I already reaaally need the curling iron and rollers…. www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
Check out my list on Amazon
www.amazon.com
November 8, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Can someone buy the record player stand on my wishlist?! I already reaaally need the curling iron and rollers…. www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
Reposted by jordan
They say do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. I love embezzlement.
November 9, 2025 at 6:02 AM
They say do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. I love embezzlement.
Unfortunately, I am judgmental about people who have bad taste in music
November 9, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Unfortunately, I am judgmental about people who have bad taste in music
Can someone buy the record player stand on my wishlist?! I already reaaally need the curling iron and rollers…. www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
Check out my list on Amazon
www.amazon.com
November 8, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Can someone buy the record player stand on my wishlist?! I already reaaally need the curling iron and rollers…. www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
Educating the youth
November 8, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Educating the youth
I start sweating every time my son says he’s excited about Christmas because i don’t have two dimes to rub together.
November 8, 2025 at 3:17 PM
I start sweating every time my son says he’s excited about Christmas because i don’t have two dimes to rub together.
Reposted by jordan
Immediate regret over this “Honk if you hate car horns” bumper sticker
November 7, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Immediate regret over this “Honk if you hate car horns” bumper sticker
Reposted by jordan
not many know this but "christmas" means "more christ" in spanish
November 7, 2025 at 7:18 PM
not many know this but "christmas" means "more christ" in spanish
Reposted by jordan
[doing an icebreaker]
an interesting thing about me is that i am .4 seconds away from sprinting out of this room
an interesting thing about me is that i am .4 seconds away from sprinting out of this room
November 7, 2025 at 9:47 PM
[doing an icebreaker]
an interesting thing about me is that i am .4 seconds away from sprinting out of this room
an interesting thing about me is that i am .4 seconds away from sprinting out of this room
I’m not a gym rat these days, but I still make sure I’m strong enough to drop a dude at any time.
November 7, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I’m not a gym rat these days, but I still make sure I’m strong enough to drop a dude at any time.
I need Santa to be generous this year and give me and advance so I can see my parents for Thanksgiving and buy my kid some Christmas presents. Wonder what that fats bastard would want in return.
November 6, 2025 at 10:14 PM
I need Santa to be generous this year and give me and advance so I can see my parents for Thanksgiving and buy my kid some Christmas presents. Wonder what that fats bastard would want in return.