Alan B
@gallonofalan.bsky.social
(Bloke\chap)
Irk the purists, it's a right good laugh.
Irk the purists, it's a right good laugh.
Pinned
Alan B
@gallonofalan.bsky.social
· Oct 11
Oddities And One Hit Wonders Of The UK Top 40
open.spotify.com
open.spotify.com/playlist/1w6...
88 hrs of hits from 1970 up until about 1999. Novelty songs, strange one-offs, instrumentals, football songs, military bands, TV themes, Christmas songs, collaborations. If it's not there chances are it's not on Spotify. No Jonathan King or Rolf Harris 😬 #totp
88 hrs of hits from 1970 up until about 1999. Novelty songs, strange one-offs, instrumentals, football songs, military bands, TV themes, Christmas songs, collaborations. If it's not there chances are it's not on Spotify. No Jonathan King or Rolf Harris 😬 #totp
Reposted by Alan B
A pal has been re-editing the Saw franchise, but dubbed entirely with dialogue, music and sound effects from the Carry On films
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFT_...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFT_...
Carry On Sawing - Part One
YouTube video by Mart Olliver
www.youtube.com
January 28, 2026 at 8:37 AM
A pal has been re-editing the Saw franchise, but dubbed entirely with dialogue, music and sound effects from the Carry On films
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFT_...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFT_...
Cliff has the jester's shoes here I reckon
January 27, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Cliff has the jester's shoes here I reckon
Look at that cat. The targeting computer is locked in, all systems go
A double award winner here.
A gold medal in the, I didn't think the face eating leopard would eat my face; and
A silver medal in the Darwin Awards.
A gold medal in the, I didn't think the face eating leopard would eat my face; and
A silver medal in the Darwin Awards.
January 27, 2026 at 8:35 PM
Look at that cat. The targeting computer is locked in, all systems go
Fictional characters who would be Reform?
January 27, 2026 at 4:10 PM
Fictional characters who would be Reform?
Reposted by Alan B
Happy 'large boulder the size of a small boulder' day to all who celebrate!
January 27, 2026 at 1:31 PM
Happy 'large boulder the size of a small boulder' day to all who celebrate!
Reposted by Alan B
Bovino sounds like a cut-price beef drink from Aldi.
January 27, 2026 at 7:31 AM
Bovino sounds like a cut-price beef drink from Aldi.
Reposted by Alan B
Last week's comic. I'm new to The Traitors and predictably loved every minute of it
![1
CLAUDIA WINKLEMAN [entering the breakfast room]:
Good morning everyone
2
CW:
Today’s mission is the hardest one yet:
3
CW:
Having absolutely *no chill whatsoever*.
4
[Various of the Contestants doing their best ‘disproportionate reaction’ faces]:
Oh my god
Oh my god
Oh my god
5
JADE:
*HAUNTED SIDEYE*
6
AMANDA [shaking head, saying out loud]:
Inappropriately solemn reaction shot
7
[In the car en route to the Mission, spotting a few props set up in the woods];
JESSIE:
OH MI GOOOOD
8
JESSIE:
What is THAAAAT
[unseen contestant responding off-frame]:
It’s some props in a wood
9
ROXY [in the middle of doing a silly task in the sunny countryside]:
WE’VE GOT TO DO AN ESSENTIALLY UNDEMANDING TASK IN THE PLEASANT COUNTRYSIIIDE
10
REECE [crying, being comforted by solemn contestants]:
I’m just feeling sad about the silly parlour game
11
MATTHEW [stern face, hand up in the roundtable like he’s a lawyer striking the killer blow]:
Can I just get some clarification on what you meant by… ‘Good morning’?
12
RACHEL [in the staring-murderously-to-camera bit]
I can’t believe he said “Good morning”
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreig2bucdnlleqoosoxvjx6sgmnrrwrbgaimrjm4wenvdnokeqpedbm@jpeg)
January 26, 2026 at 9:43 AM
Last week's comic. I'm new to The Traitors and predictably loved every minute of it
Watching 'Dentist In The Chair', which is one of those films that while not actually a Carry On, will do until the Carry On gets here.
January 26, 2026 at 8:23 AM
Watching 'Dentist In The Chair', which is one of those films that while not actually a Carry On, will do until the Carry On gets here.
Reposted by Alan B
Incredible shot of the cockpit of Space Shuttle Discovery, taken by a camera mounted on the robot arm during the STS-128 mission (September 2009) as it passed over Central Asia.
January 25, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Incredible shot of the cockpit of Space Shuttle Discovery, taken by a camera mounted on the robot arm during the STS-128 mission (September 2009) as it passed over Central Asia.
Watching a very old QI with Barry Cryer and Jeremy Hardy on the same team. So that's nice.
January 25, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Watching a very old QI with Barry Cryer and Jeremy Hardy on the same team. So that's nice.
The MK1 Cuntwagon, not often seen
Of course it’s a bloody Tesla.
New entry for the most divorced man in the UK
January 25, 2026 at 4:29 PM
The MK1 Cuntwagon, not often seen
Reposted by Alan B
I just learned that this exists and now I have to share it with you all because I don't even listen to podcasts, but just knowing that this is a thing has unironically increased my overall happiness and wellbeing:
January 25, 2026 at 10:23 AM
I just learned that this exists and now I have to share it with you all because I don't even listen to podcasts, but just knowing that this is a thing has unironically increased my overall happiness and wellbeing:
Reposted by Alan B
Reposted by Alan B
Posting about Cribbins reminds me of meeting Des O'Connor while my nan was ill. I told him how much of a fan she was.
He immediately asked her address. I hesitated.
"Don't worry, I'll not send my LP. She's suffered enough."
The next day, there was a hamper and flowers on her doorstep.
He immediately asked her address. I hesitated.
"Don't worry, I'll not send my LP. She's suffered enough."
The next day, there was a hamper and flowers on her doorstep.
December 30, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Posting about Cribbins reminds me of meeting Des O'Connor while my nan was ill. I told him how much of a fan she was.
He immediately asked her address. I hesitated.
"Don't worry, I'll not send my LP. She's suffered enough."
The next day, there was a hamper and flowers on her doorstep.
He immediately asked her address. I hesitated.
"Don't worry, I'll not send my LP. She's suffered enough."
The next day, there was a hamper and flowers on her doorstep.
Reposted by Alan B
I’m Scottish but I am not this Scottish.
January 24, 2026 at 4:22 PM
I’m Scottish but I am not this Scottish.
Reposted by Alan B
"i saw a bad post on x" ok well i saw a turd in the toilet but i'm not making you look at a screenshot of it
January 16, 2026 at 4:42 PM
"i saw a bad post on x" ok well i saw a turd in the toilet but i'm not making you look at a screenshot of it
Get yizzer arses to see this if you can, true originals. #speirgorm
*NEW BELFAST DATE* Happy to be adding a Saturday night Belfast to our return to Ireland in May, tickets go on sale today.
We’re bringing our good mate Ted Chippington with us for all four dates. Waterford already SOLD OUT so you know what to do : www.thenightingales.org.uk/live
We’re bringing our good mate Ted Chippington with us for all four dates. Waterford already SOLD OUT so you know what to do : www.thenightingales.org.uk/live
January 24, 2026 at 11:46 AM
Get yizzer arses to see this if you can, true originals. #speirgorm
A man on the radio has just said "in one foul swoop" and that's my Saturday ruined.
January 24, 2026 at 10:35 AM
A man on the radio has just said "in one foul swoop" and that's my Saturday ruined.
Reposted by Alan B
For Jim Moir/Vic Reeves' birthday, a reminder it's thirty years this year since this advert.
January 24, 2026 at 10:01 AM
For Jim Moir/Vic Reeves' birthday, a reminder it's thirty years this year since this advert.
Reposted by Alan B
Will there be a Procession, and a winning Ceremony?
January 24, 2026, a horse called New Order (trained by Charlie Longsdon, ridden by David Bass) is running at Doncaster in the 14:05 Virgin Bet Great Yorkshire Chase. The eight-year-old has been in good form, with recent performances including a close second at Sandown. Odds around 11/1 #NewOrder
January 24, 2026 at 9:42 AM
Will there be a Procession, and a winning Ceremony?
Reposted by Alan B
Because the world is still… a little disappointing, I thought I should remind you of this. Morning all
January 24, 2026 at 9:28 AM
Because the world is still… a little disappointing, I thought I should remind you of this. Morning all
Reposted by Alan B
Be aware that the cats vs bears video doing the rounds is an AI fake.
an elderly woman is sitting on the floor in a living room .
ALT: an elderly woman is sitting on the floor in a living room .
media.tenor.com
January 24, 2026 at 9:45 AM
Be aware that the cats vs bears video doing the rounds is an AI fake.
Well you absolutely have to have talc before the nappy goes on.
this is every man's dream, firing a gun in the air while a busty woman ... puts talcum powder all over your ass(?)
January 24, 2026 at 8:08 AM
Well you absolutely have to have talc before the nappy goes on.
Reposted by Alan B
The one on the road. 😄
January 23, 2026 at 10:32 PM
The one on the road. 😄