The fake Michael Bertrand
@fruvous73.bsky.social
A very strange man who writes things. VFS alum (Writing for TV and Film program), thinker, philosopher, comedy writer, academically gifted, socially retarded, lover of long lists of adjectives, and the only rationalist materialist mystic poet in the world.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
I'm wondering if Kegseth is hell-bent on going after Mark Kelly because he outranked him. Small men do that kind of thing.
November 25, 2025 at 6:43 PM
I'm wondering if Kegseth is hell-bent on going after Mark Kelly because he outranked him. Small men do that kind of thing.
Idea for a show : a show called Two Old Hippies, where two old hippie chicks share both the recipes and the wisdom they have accumulated over the years.
I would watch the crap out of that!
I would watch the crap out of that!
November 26, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Idea for a show : a show called Two Old Hippies, where two old hippie chicks share both the recipes and the wisdom they have accumulated over the years.
I would watch the crap out of that!
I would watch the crap out of that!
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
TRUMP COMMENTS ON THE DOCUMENT THAT INFORMED THE KING OF ENGLAND THAT WE WERE IN REBELLION.
November 24, 2025 at 1:14 PM
TRUMP COMMENTS ON THE DOCUMENT THAT INFORMED THE KING OF ENGLAND THAT WE WERE IN REBELLION.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
This plaque is posted at West Point. Alcoholic TV talk show chatterbox Pete Hegseth wants to court-martial Arizona Senator Mark Kelly for repeating what is written on it.
November 24, 2025 at 6:06 PM
This plaque is posted at West Point. Alcoholic TV talk show chatterbox Pete Hegseth wants to court-martial Arizona Senator Mark Kelly for repeating what is written on it.
When you think about it, charcuterie is just Lunchables for grownups. - Michael Bertrand
#joke #funny #haha #observation #meatandcheese
#joke #funny #haha #observation #meatandcheese
November 25, 2025 at 7:11 AM
When you think about it, charcuterie is just Lunchables for grownups. - Michael Bertrand
#joke #funny #haha #observation #meatandcheese
#joke #funny #haha #observation #meatandcheese
Gosh, I forget.... historically, what happens to regimes who piss off all their veterans?
November 25, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Gosh, I forget.... historically, what happens to regimes who piss off all their veterans?
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
SEN. KELLY : “They informed me of this in a tweet because this is not about the law. This is about the media cycle, and intimidation… We basically repeated the uniform code of military justice, and they're saying that's in violation of it. It's absurd. Comical.”
November 25, 2025 at 3:15 AM
SEN. KELLY : “They informed me of this in a tweet because this is not about the law. This is about the media cycle, and intimidation… We basically repeated the uniform code of military justice, and they're saying that's in violation of it. It's absurd. Comical.”
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Amen
Though I learned the valuable lessons that we are NOT the country we thought we were, and that some of my neighbors are NOT decent people.
Oh and that "American Christian" is apparently an oxymoron.
Though I learned the valuable lessons that we are NOT the country we thought we were, and that some of my neighbors are NOT decent people.
Oh and that "American Christian" is apparently an oxymoron.
November 23, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Amen
Though I learned the valuable lessons that we are NOT the country we thought we were, and that some of my neighbors are NOT decent people.
Oh and that "American Christian" is apparently an oxymoron.
Though I learned the valuable lessons that we are NOT the country we thought we were, and that some of my neighbors are NOT decent people.
Oh and that "American Christian" is apparently an oxymoron.
Being old means craving food that would absolutely destroy your digestion if you ate it.
November 25, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Being old means craving food that would absolutely destroy your digestion if you ate it.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
All this talk about “reclassifying” what counts as a profession is a distraction from the real trend..women-dominated fields like nursing, teaching, social work, counseling, PA programs, physical therapy, are losing funding, while male-dominated sectors keep the capital flowing. This is Project 2025
November 23, 2025 at 8:05 PM
All this talk about “reclassifying” what counts as a profession is a distraction from the real trend..women-dominated fields like nursing, teaching, social work, counseling, PA programs, physical therapy, are losing funding, while male-dominated sectors keep the capital flowing. This is Project 2025
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Spent 6 weeks in hospital recently and the doctors would visit the ward once and see you for maybe 5 minutes, anything that happened outside that time was a nurse, they might need to phone a Dr to increase your meds but they would administer it. Nurses are the GOATS
November 24, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Spent 6 weeks in hospital recently and the doctors would visit the ward once and see you for maybe 5 minutes, anything that happened outside that time was a nurse, they might need to phone a Dr to increase your meds but they would administer it. Nurses are the GOATS
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Casually obsessed with old record stores that never created a “rap” or “hip hop” tag so they put rap records under “dance” or “rhythm and blues”
November 23, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Casually obsessed with old record stores that never created a “rap” or “hip hop” tag so they put rap records under “dance” or “rhythm and blues”
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Thinking of making a horror movie about a man who keeps discovering 12-inch rulers in his home. It's a found footage film.
November 24, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Thinking of making a horror movie about a man who keeps discovering 12-inch rulers in his home. It's a found footage film.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Fed's Waller: There is no anecdotal evidence that firms are about to go on a hiring spree.
November 24, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Fed's Waller: There is no anecdotal evidence that firms are about to go on a hiring spree.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
I like goat meat but I also like goats the animal. Same for cows, too. Pork I had to stop after seeing the little pet pig vines. They should make a repulsive animal that tastes good
November 24, 2025 at 3:27 AM
I like goat meat but I also like goats the animal. Same for cows, too. Pork I had to stop after seeing the little pet pig vines. They should make a repulsive animal that tastes good
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
When the heavily redacted Epstein files are released it will fall on Congress to subpoena as many people as possible to get to the truth.
November 22, 2025 at 6:04 PM
When the heavily redacted Epstein files are released it will fall on Congress to subpoena as many people as possible to get to the truth.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
First day as a doctor:
Okay, the X-ray shows your bones are all still there, so you’re probably fine.
Okay, the X-ray shows your bones are all still there, so you’re probably fine.
November 22, 2025 at 2:45 PM
First day as a doctor:
Okay, the X-ray shows your bones are all still there, so you’re probably fine.
Okay, the X-ray shows your bones are all still there, so you’re probably fine.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
![>>Satire - Yoga Instructor Shocked as Stretching Fails to Cure Autoimmune Disorder [woman stretching doing yoga] mybodyistryingtokillme.com](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dbzmdmsaz6lkhb4tv3culzme/bafkreicflmkefr2cjqr6fkiynhhgwmspteymlyahhla7y7msq2qb5bbcii@jpeg)
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
In the grocery store lineup just now:
Old man: And how are you doing, young one?
Me: I'm good, thanks!
Old man: That's the way it should be.
Me: And what are you up to this evening?
Old man: Oh, watching movies.
Me: Hey, me too! Whatcha watching?
Old man: I like that paranormal shit.
Old man: And how are you doing, young one?
Me: I'm good, thanks!
Old man: That's the way it should be.
Me: And what are you up to this evening?
Old man: Oh, watching movies.
Me: Hey, me too! Whatcha watching?
Old man: I like that paranormal shit.
November 21, 2025 at 11:52 PM
In the grocery store lineup just now:
Old man: And how are you doing, young one?
Me: I'm good, thanks!
Old man: That's the way it should be.
Me: And what are you up to this evening?
Old man: Oh, watching movies.
Me: Hey, me too! Whatcha watching?
Old man: I like that paranormal shit.
Old man: And how are you doing, young one?
Me: I'm good, thanks!
Old man: That's the way it should be.
Me: And what are you up to this evening?
Old man: Oh, watching movies.
Me: Hey, me too! Whatcha watching?
Old man: I like that paranormal shit.