D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi author🪐📚
@dnschmidt.com
Science fiction novelist and humorist. Follow for stories, jokes, and thoughts about writing and creativity.
Get my books, free stories and writing tips at https://dnschmidt.com. Sign up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing!
Get my books, free stories and writing tips at https://dnschmidt.com. Sign up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing!
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The Chained Space Series
Visit Amazon's The Chained Space Series Page and shop for all The Chained Space Series books. Check out pictures, author information, and reviews of The Chained Space Series
www.amazon.com
Still doing holiday shopping? Grab a copy of The Screaming Void!
A salvage crew goes after a spaceship lost in the deadliest place in the galaxy. It’s the perfect gift for fans of funny space adventures, knife fights, or cat science!
📚🪐 #spaceopera
www.amazon.com/dp/B0FP9TZ69D
A salvage crew goes after a spaceship lost in the deadliest place in the galaxy. It’s the perfect gift for fans of funny space adventures, knife fights, or cat science!
📚🪐 #spaceopera
www.amazon.com/dp/B0FP9TZ69D
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi author🪐📚
Have some free time on your hands this Christmas Eve? (Ha!) Why not try book painting? Superfrenchie shows you how.
h2g2.com/entry/A88079...
h2g2.com/entry/A88079...
December 24, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Have some free time on your hands this Christmas Eve? (Ha!) Why not try book painting? Superfrenchie shows you how.
h2g2.com/entry/A88079...
h2g2.com/entry/A88079...
Movie idea:
A depressed screenwriter learns to love life again after he meets a quirky, free-spirited burger restaurant.
Call it "Manic Pixie Dream Grill."
A depressed screenwriter learns to love life again after he meets a quirky, free-spirited burger restaurant.
Call it "Manic Pixie Dream Grill."
December 26, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Movie idea:
A depressed screenwriter learns to love life again after he meets a quirky, free-spirited burger restaurant.
Call it "Manic Pixie Dream Grill."
A depressed screenwriter learns to love life again after he meets a quirky, free-spirited burger restaurant.
Call it "Manic Pixie Dream Grill."
I'm tired of zombie movies where the undead are just the result of a disease or a chemical weapon or never even explained. Bring back necromancers!
(If you bring them back, they might just bring you back later.)
(If you bring them back, they might just bring you back later.)
December 26, 2025 at 9:05 PM
I'm tired of zombie movies where the undead are just the result of a disease or a chemical weapon or never even explained. Bring back necromancers!
(If you bring them back, they might just bring you back later.)
(If you bring them back, they might just bring you back later.)
Add me to your "Only Wears Mittens To Secretly Flip People Off" starter pack.
December 26, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Add me to your "Only Wears Mittens To Secretly Flip People Off" starter pack.
Stop censoring social media screenshots! You can post swears on Reddit. It's okay, nobody will tell your mom. Promise.
December 26, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Stop censoring social media screenshots! You can post swears on Reddit. It's okay, nobody will tell your mom. Promise.
“Rachel cried when she was scanned,” Mr. Davis thought. “But her contract says her brainwaves are company property. Why make it such a #struggle? All unskilled labor gets replaced by AI software eventually.”
He got up to leave his office but stopped, confused. “Wait… where’s the door?”
#vss365
He got up to leave his office but stopped, confused. “Wait… where’s the door?”
#vss365
December 26, 2025 at 1:58 PM
"Curmudgeon" means an ill-tempered person, but it sounds like it should be an angry pigeon.
Careful around that statue! A curmudgeon built his nest up there. That bird is a real bastard.
Careful around that statue! A curmudgeon built his nest up there. That bird is a real bastard.
December 26, 2025 at 12:00 PM
"Curmudgeon" means an ill-tempered person, but it sounds like it should be an angry pigeon.
Careful around that statue! A curmudgeon built his nest up there. That bird is a real bastard.
Careful around that statue! A curmudgeon built his nest up there. That bird is a real bastard.
I had a dream that DC wanted to make a Thor movie, but Marvel threatened to sue, so DC changed the character’s name to Mr. Meat Mallet.
December 26, 2025 at 10:51 AM
I had a dream that DC wanted to make a Thor movie, but Marvel threatened to sue, so DC changed the character’s name to Mr. Meat Mallet.
Everybody thinks Charlie Brown is the most depressed Peanuts character, but Pigpen hasn’t taken a shower since 1955.
December 25, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Everybody thinks Charlie Brown is the most depressed Peanuts character, but Pigpen hasn’t taken a shower since 1955.
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi author🪐📚
🤍 romantic fantasy
🔥 forbidden love
❄️ winter time
🌃 urban fantasy
🃏 gentleman trickster
🔮 magic
🖋️ binding agreements
🐕 doggy sidekick
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/X7QtGZf
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/a-game-of-wi...
📖 gr: www.goodreads.com/book/show/61...
🔥 forbidden love
❄️ winter time
🌃 urban fantasy
🃏 gentleman trickster
🔮 magic
🖋️ binding agreements
🐕 doggy sidekick
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/X7QtGZf
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/a-game-of-wi...
📖 gr: www.goodreads.com/book/show/61...
December 25, 2025 at 6:04 AM
🤍 romantic fantasy
🔥 forbidden love
❄️ winter time
🌃 urban fantasy
🃏 gentleman trickster
🔮 magic
🖋️ binding agreements
🐕 doggy sidekick
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/X7QtGZf
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/a-game-of-wi...
📖 gr: www.goodreads.com/book/show/61...
🔥 forbidden love
❄️ winter time
🌃 urban fantasy
🃏 gentleman trickster
🔮 magic
🖋️ binding agreements
🐕 doggy sidekick
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/X7QtGZf
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/a-game-of-wi...
📖 gr: www.goodreads.com/book/show/61...
Dad: You got me an Avatar sweater for Christmas?
Me: Fleece Na’vi, Dad.
Me: Fleece Na’vi, Dad.
December 25, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Dad: You got me an Avatar sweater for Christmas?
Me: Fleece Na’vi, Dad.
Me: Fleece Na’vi, Dad.
A silly little Christmas poem for you.
December 25, 2025 at 4:56 PM
A silly little Christmas poem for you.
They should have cast Macaulay Culkin in The Martian, and had him defend the Mars habitat from a pair of bumbling alien invaders.
December 25, 2025 at 2:22 PM
They should have cast Macaulay Culkin in The Martian, and had him defend the Mars habitat from a pair of bumbling alien invaders.
Just found five bucks in my back yard. Must have fallen out of Santa’s pocket last night. Well, merry Christmas to me!
December 25, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Just found five bucks in my back yard. Must have fallen out of Santa’s pocket last night. Well, merry Christmas to me!
Well, I suppose I’d better start my Christmas shopping.
December 25, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Well, I suppose I’d better start my Christmas shopping.
Her: Are you ready for the Christmas party?
Me: Almost. I just have to pee and then change my pants.
Her: If you have to change your pants afterwards, you need to work on your aim.
Me: Almost. I just have to pee and then change my pants.
Her: If you have to change your pants afterwards, you need to work on your aim.
December 24, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Her: Are you ready for the Christmas party?
Me: Almost. I just have to pee and then change my pants.
Her: If you have to change your pants afterwards, you need to work on your aim.
Me: Almost. I just have to pee and then change my pants.
Her: If you have to change your pants afterwards, you need to work on your aim.
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, recorded “Tiptoe Through The Tulips.”
December 24, 2025 at 9:18 PM
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, recorded “Tiptoe Through The Tulips.”
If Santa's elves make all the presents, even toys of copyrighted characters, you'd think Disney would have sued him into oblivion by now.
December 24, 2025 at 6:41 PM
If Santa's elves make all the presents, even toys of copyrighted characters, you'd think Disney would have sued him into oblivion by now.
Sorry I stole the E from your HUGE DISCOUNTS sign and demanded 75% off a hug.
December 24, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Sorry I stole the E from your HUGE DISCOUNTS sign and demanded 75% off a hug.
Is there a hard science fiction equivalent to the Tiffany Problem? Like a real science fact that is just so weird that you can’t use it because readers would never believe it?
December 24, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Is there a hard science fiction equivalent to the Tiffany Problem? Like a real science fact that is just so weird that you can’t use it because readers would never believe it?
A police sniper moved into position on the roof. He pulled the trigger, #shooting his Social Awkwardness Gun.
Across the street, a bank robber was holding a dozen people at gunpoint. He furrowed his brow, staring at the hostages on the floor. "Are... are you guys mad at me?"
#vss365
Across the street, a bank robber was holding a dozen people at gunpoint. He furrowed his brow, staring at the hostages on the floor. "Are... are you guys mad at me?"
#vss365
December 24, 2025 at 1:55 PM
If you hold an empty Shell Station to your ear, you can hear a dinosaur turn into gasoline.
December 24, 2025 at 12:49 PM
If you hold an empty Shell Station to your ear, you can hear a dinosaur turn into gasoline.
Let's do a quick book giveaway! The first person to comment something about why they like space opera gets a free Kindle copy of my hilarious book The Screaming Void!
(US only, sorry.)
(US only, sorry.)
December 23, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Let's do a quick book giveaway! The first person to comment something about why they like space opera gets a free Kindle copy of my hilarious book The Screaming Void!
(US only, sorry.)
(US only, sorry.)
Coworkers are talking about how awesome Welcome To Derry is and saying they hope The Eyes of the Dragon, The Talisman, and Sleeping Beauties get a TV series, too.
Yeah, because if anyone needs more adaptations of their work, it’s Stephen King. 🙄
Yeah, because if anyone needs more adaptations of their work, it’s Stephen King. 🙄
December 23, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Coworkers are talking about how awesome Welcome To Derry is and saying they hope The Eyes of the Dragon, The Talisman, and Sleeping Beauties get a TV series, too.
Yeah, because if anyone needs more adaptations of their work, it’s Stephen King. 🙄
Yeah, because if anyone needs more adaptations of their work, it’s Stephen King. 🙄
What’s your favorite kind of nog? Mine’s egg.
December 23, 2025 at 2:46 PM
What’s your favorite kind of nog? Mine’s egg.