D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi novelist 🪐📚
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dnschmidt.com
D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi novelist 🪐📚
@dnschmidt.com
4.6K followers 2K following 6.5K posts
Science fiction novelist and humorist. Posting stories, jokes, and thoughts about writing and creativity.

Get my books, free stories and writing tips at https://dnschmidt.com. Sign up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing!
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Apparently if you highlight metric measurements, you can get the conversion into Freedom Units.
A screenshot of the tiny UFO story in the post above, with a tooltip menu showing eight cm is 3.15 inches.
November 11, 2025 at 4:57 PM
dnschmidt.com
Thanks to the person who picked up Inspiration Overdose yesterday! I hope it inspires your next great story. Happy writing!
The cover of Inspiration Overdose by D.N. Schmidt, surrounded by images representing story ideas - A UFO, a zombie, a rocket, an atom, a dragon, and a solar system.
November 9, 2025 at 1:01 PM
dnschmidt.com
Looking for weird? Try these science fiction stories:

* A poker game with parasites from another dimension.

* A waitress at a space truck stop battles a monstrous meatloaf.

* A conman has a plan to steal three miles of space rock.

And many more!

#booksky #sff 📚🪐

mybook.to/doomtapes
A static-covered television with the words "How can a VHS tape doom humanity? Read before it's too late." Next to it is a copy of the science fiction short story collection The Doom Tapes by D.N. Schmidt.
November 7, 2025 at 1:58 AM
dnschmidt.com
Dave began to suspect his new girlfriend might be a pot head.
A woman standing in the kitchen aisle of a store wearing a pot on her head.
November 1, 2025 at 5:04 PM
dnschmidt.com
How the Grinch Stole Halloween:
A picture of text: The Grinch grinned like a spider as he brought home his haul. He took Halloween! He’d stolen it all! But then his face fell, and his smile stopped beaming. The Whos in Whoville were suddenly screaming! “Halloween came without rubber ghosts! Or plastic skeletons hanging from posts! It came without cobwebs dangling from trees! It came without spooky horror CDs!” But it wasn’t the sound of some Halloween fun. A werewolf was coming! Every Who, run!
October 25, 2025 at 12:55 PM
dnschmidt.com
The Buskers. An alternative way to pay for therapy.

#vss
The Buskers, a piece of microfiction. The crowd applauded as the buskers began their show. Two men were sitting in chairs, one holding a notepad. "Last session," the therapist said, "we discussed facing your fear of intimacy. How did that go?" The patient nodded. "I forced myself to be naked around Jen, physically and emotionally, and now we're closer than ever." The therapist sighed in relief. "Thank god, a breakthrough. Finally! I'm tired of passing the hat and coming up empty." The patient shrugged. "Personal growth is hard, Carl. Sue me."
October 23, 2025 at 3:43 PM
dnschmidt.com
The internet is great for looking up half-remembered shows and proving to yourself that they weren’t just a weird dream.

Was there really a cartoon about Punky Brewster hanging out with a raccoon with a goatee from another dimension? Apparently so!
A screenshot from the cartoon It’s Punky Brewster showing Punky and her friends riding a giant roller skate with a dog and an extra dimensional raccoon-like creature with a goatee. It was a very weird show.
October 21, 2025 at 3:17 PM
dnschmidt.com
Exactly!
An MS Paint doodle of a spaceship with lasers firing, and the words "Pew! Pew!"
October 20, 2025 at 8:46 PM
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Take me to your leader! 👽
A novelty sock featuring a green alien abducting a cow
October 17, 2025 at 2:43 PM
dnschmidt.com
You kids won't remember this, but back in the 70s, a creepy clown gnome would visit you on your birthday. Only kids could see it. If you tried to tell your folks, it would bite the head off your new Stretch Armstrong doll.
A table with a red, white, and pink striped tablecloth, a birthday cake, balloons, ice cream, and a tiny, creepy clown.
October 12, 2025 at 5:34 PM
dnschmidt.com
I mean, I guess it’s a “win” if you like regular, boring turtles who don’t know martial arts or anything.
A screenshot of a BBC article showing a swimming turtle and the headline “Green turtle bounces back from the brink in conservation win.” The word “win” is in quotes, which could be taken as it being used ironically.
October 10, 2025 at 2:03 PM
dnschmidt.com
I hope this works!
A screenshot of the Bluesky "Add muted words and tags" settings page, with "All the bad, scary stuff - just show me jokes, stories, and puppies, please"
October 5, 2025 at 11:39 PM
dnschmidt.com
A short story.
The Woodsman, a short story. A group of hungry villagers went to the forest to forage for food. They were attacked by a woodsman who forced them to form a human pyramid. He climbed up the pyramid and picked apples from the high branches. He ate the apples and hurled the cores down at their heads. After days of this, a man on the bottom said, “We really should replace him with a nicer woodsman.”
September 30, 2025 at 3:59 PM
dnschmidt.com
Thanks to the person who read Inspiration Overdose on Kindle Unlimited! Hope it inspires your next great story!
The cover of Inspiration Overdose by D.N. Schmidt, surrounded by images representing story ideas - A UFO, a zombie, a rocket, an atom, a dragon, and a solar system.
September 28, 2025 at 9:30 PM
dnschmidt.com
I actually managed to find a log full of edible mushrooms before the other foragers in the area took 'em all! I was one of the very first people. There was only a tiny little area that showed cutting marks. So exciting!

I made chicken fried chicken of the woods, and it's amazing!
A plate of chicken fried chicken of the woods mushrooms. It looks rather like fried chicken, but flat.
September 26, 2025 at 9:58 PM
dnschmidt.com
404: Personality Not Found. Flash fiction for today's #vss365 prompt, #catastrophe.

We're living in the future, and the future is dumb.
A picture of a short story entitled "404: Personality Not Found." Greg stared at the sign outside the record store. "No WiFi. Pretend it's 1995 and this is Rex Manning Day." He groaned inwardly. This was going to be a catastrophe. "We could get coffee instead?" "They have a cafe inside," Zoe said, taking his hand. "C'mon, it'll be fun!" As they stepped into the store, the display in his glasses changed from Suggested Conversation Replies to ERROR: No Connection. A bead of sweat rolled down his back. She led him to the alternative rock section and began flipping through the albums. "I want to get that No Rain song," she said. "What band is that?" He blinked, stammering. "Um, well..." He shrugged. "Oh?" Zoe said, raising an eyebrow. "You always remember stuff like that. I thought you knew everything." He forced a laugh. "Well, you know..." "What, no jokes all of a sudden?" She sighed. "Another liar. I knew it." He rubbed his brow. "I didn't lie! You never asked if I wore AI glasses." She poked his chest. "The purpose of a date is for us to get to know each other - our interests, our personalities. Instead, you fed me statistically-optimized pickup lines. That's a lie." Zoe headed for the door, unsure of what to do next. She could ask out Hank again. He only ever talked about his gym routine and protein shakes, but at least his biceps didn’t vanish when the WiFi went out.
September 20, 2025 at 12:59 PM
dnschmidt.com
Here you go, giant lobster claw! I saved you some brownies!
The symbol for "throw your trash in the trash can" features a three-sided outline of a trash can and a stick figure tossing three squares inside. If you use your imagination, it could be the symbol for feeding snacks to a giant lobster.
September 20, 2025 at 11:31 AM
dnschmidt.com
The Palace Bonfire, a short story:
A short story: Once there was a king who wanted to stop house fires. He stood on the palace balcony and made an announcement to the gathered crowd. “To keep everyone safe, bring the burning logs from your fireplaces to the palace. All cooking and heating will be done here instead of in your homes. No one will ever lose their home in a fire ever again!” Some people didn’t like the idea of not having their own fire, but they were criticized as “pro arson” and “home haters”, and pressured into taking part in the king’s plan. The people put all the fire in the kingdom in the palace garden. The enormous bonfire quickly spread, and burned down half the kingdom. The royal advisers forced the king to give up the throne. They sent out letters far and wide saying, “Fear not! The next king will manage the gigantic palace bonfire much more responsibly!”
September 18, 2025 at 1:13 PM
dnschmidt.com
Not this time. But here’s a wild animal from last week:
A monarch butterfly on a red flower
September 15, 2025 at 11:03 AM
dnschmidt.com
Roscoe says, "I believe in you! You can do the thing! Now boop my snoot!"
A closeup of an adorable, brown dog. Roscoe is a mix of Doberman and Australian Shepherd. his leash is green.
September 11, 2025 at 8:41 PM
dnschmidt.com
Coming in October, two hilarious space opera adventure adventures!

Preorder at chainedspace.com.

For a chance at free signed copies of both books and a $100 Amazon gift card, like, repost, and comment with your favorite emoji. 📚🪐

Ends Sept 29. See chainedspace.com for contest rules.

#booksky
Two colorful space opera book covers by D.N. Schmidt: The Screaming Void and The Stolen Planet. Also the text “Preorder now! Grab these hilarious space opera adventures at chainedspace.com! Like, repost, and comment for a chance at free signed copies of both books and a $100 Amazon gift card! Ends September 29. See chainedspace.com for contest rules “
September 8, 2025 at 12:05 PM
dnschmidt.com
#vss365 #chance
A picture of text: “Take a chance, win a prize!” The carny waved at the giant wheel behind her, and the shelves of stuffed animals on either side. Vex placed his bag of popcorn and a game ticket on the counter. “Lucky number thirteen, please.” She spun the wheel. Clicking, it turned to 9... 10... 11... 14... 15. “Fifteen! Sorry, better luck —” The wheel started moving again, turning backwards to thirteen. “What? Impossible! You’re cheating!” “Me?” he said, smirking. “I would never.” A teddy bear floated from the shelves and into his arms. He strolled off, levitating popcorn into his mouth. The carny gazed up at the purple sky and sighed. “I hate this planet.”
September 6, 2025 at 12:50 PM
dnschmidt.com
I got an exciting package today! The proof copies of my new space opera novels came! They look amazing. I’m so happy. 🤩

#booksky 🪐📚
A tiny hand holding a box cutter and cutting open an Amazon box Tiny hands opening a box to reveal the cover of The Stolen Planet, a space opera novel by D.N. Schmidt Tiny hands showing off the covers of The Screaming Void and The Stolen Planet, space opera novels by D.M. Schmidt
September 1, 2025 at 9:54 PM
dnschmidt.com
🚀 The Chained Space Series cover reveal! 🚀

My novella The Screaming Void has been expanded into a full novel. The adventure continues in the sequel The Stolen Planet! These funny space opera adventures will be available for preorder soon. Keep watching this space for more info!

#booksky #sff 🪐📚
The Chained Space Series by D.N. Schmidt book cover reveal - The Screaming Void cover features a man in an orange jumpsuit standing next to a woman in a blue jumpsuit. They have a spaceship with graffiti on it behind them, and a starry background. There is an orange space helmet with a smiley face sprayed on it in the foreground. The Stolen Planet cover features the man in the orange jumpsuit again, as well as a yellow robot. They are examining a missile buried partway in the ground of a barren moon. The orange space helmet is in the foreground, and there is a starry background with a large planet.
September 1, 2025 at 12:09 PM
dnschmidt.com
Roscoe has gotten over his fear of water enough to go wading, but he hasn't figured out that you can't shake yourself dry while you're still standing chest-deep in a river.
The most adorable brown dog you've ever seen. Roscoe is a Doberman / Australian Shepherd / hound mix.
August 31, 2025 at 8:27 PM