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falsepositives.bsky.social
jpanzner
@falsepositives.bsky.social
according to psychology
Reposted by jpanzner
Yeah you're gonna wanna turn these on if they aren't already
For those going home to visit family this weekend:

• Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus
• LG calls it TruMotion
• Sony calls it Motionflow
• Roku calls it Action Smoothing
• Google TV calls it Motion Enhancement
• Vizio calls it Smooth Motion Effect.
November 25, 2025 at 12:30 AM
i have always wanted christ to goad me into suicide
November 14, 2025 at 10:06 PM
the stank on 'analyze' is killing me
shitfaced jamaal bowman saying this is so fuckin funny i feel so seen right now
November 6, 2025 at 5:11 AM
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ITS A COYOTE! CHASING A ROAD RUNNER!
Wonder why this scene looks so familiar...
#WildlifeWednesday 🐦🐕
November 5, 2025 at 10:07 PM
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"I can't tell you what sights they showed me," Trump said after meeting with The Cenobites. "But I think a lot of people are gonna be very happy with what they showed me."

"The President can spend his time how he wants," Schumer cautioned. "But he should consider the kind of message he's sending"
October 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
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my wife: we have to wear what we died in for eternity!?

st. peter: that’s right

me: [from the back end of our horse costume] what’d he say
March 20, 2024 at 6:02 PM
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Old Soviet joke:

Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?

One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals
New ICE recruiting methods have resulted in half of this group of absolute winners failing AN OPEN BOOK TEST
October 23, 2025 at 10:50 AM
the sheer volume of sanity-straining shit, it's like a cramp behind my eyeballs
Andrew Cuomo’s campaign just posted — and quickly deleted — this AI-generated ad depicting “criminals for Zohran Mamdani.”

Features a Black man in a keffiyeh shoplifting, an abuser, a trespasser, a trafficker, a drug dealer, and a drunk driver all declaring support for Mamdani.
October 23, 2025 at 4:15 AM
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Where can I buy this, chat?
October 19, 2025 at 4:52 PM
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I know it's a fool's errand to expect anything from the media but "President posts video of himself dumping diarrhea on America" is an important thing to call attention to for a dozen reasons
October 19, 2025 at 2:20 AM
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At long last, vinyl copies of the new Mark Fell release are arriving tomorrow. US orders on the label Bandcamp will be fulfilled domestically by
@forcedexposure.bsky.social via a new arrangement, and postage prices have been cut accordingly! frozenreeds.bandcamp.com/album/psychi...
Psychic Resynthesis, by Mark Fell
10 track album
frozenreeds.bandcamp.com
October 17, 2025 at 3:01 PM
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congratulations to Andy Borowitz on his anti-comedy reality winning the Manifestation Contest
So the president of the United States plans to meet with Putin in Hungary, and when a reporter asked where that plan came from, this was the reply of the United States government www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-...
October 17, 2025 at 2:51 PM
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October 15, 2025 at 12:56 AM
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If I had explain American history in one sentence, I could do worse than "John Brown was hung for treason, but Robert E. Lee was not."
John Brown’s raid on Harpers Ferry began on this day in 1859.
October 16, 2025 at 11:29 PM
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OK the wife quote is absolutely NOT the best part of the Cybertruck article
October 16, 2025 at 4:44 PM
i hate that he's this funny. it isn't right.
Trump at the Charlie Kirk memorial event: "They fired sniper rifles at ICE agents, and me. But I made a turn at a good time. I made a turn at a good time. Charlie couldn't believe it, actually."
October 14, 2025 at 11:53 PM
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Trump says a lot of weird and concerning stuff that people just kind of shrug at but right now I’m stuck on how he keeps insisting he’s going to hell
October 14, 2025 at 7:24 PM
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yearly reminder to people insisting that we view Christopher Columbus as "a man of his time" that *the people responsible for the Spanish Inquisition* thought Columbus was out of pocket
Christopher Columbus was dragged back to Spain in chains by a crusading knight, convicted of tyranny and immeasurable cruelty, pardoned by Isabella but banned from returning to Hispaniola.

Fuck Columbus.
October 13, 2025 at 4:38 PM
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"police control of local news dependent for access, footage evidence deleting or released"

"One-third of all Americans killed by strangers are killed by police"

10,000 family dogs every year (DOJ: "epidemic")

"White nationalists pervade law enforcement"

"Police solve just 2% of all major crimes"
October 13, 2025 at 12:14 AM
this is correct and a valuable public service
#noisetable PSA: Amazon has been flooded with knock-off noise tables from brands that seem like they chose their name by throwing a handful of Scrabble tiles on the ground. The one you want is the "LIFETIME 48 in fold-in-half table" always seems to be available from Home Depot. Comes in black!
October 10, 2025 at 8:57 PM
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i looked at the methodology for this and it is
a. sex addiction counseling group in texas did a surveymonkey and extrapolated the results to the entire us population which is the sort of research design that earns you an ff on an intro methods class (the extra f is for extra effort), and
b. p-hacked
Nearly a third of Americans have had a ‘romantic relationship’ with an AI bot, new survey says
1 in 3 Americans have had a ‘romantic relationship’ with an AI bot, new survey says
www.independent.co.uk
October 3, 2025 at 2:15 AM
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this is basically portland's version of a haka
Portland enacts emergency powers of nudity to check federal overreach.
October 1, 2025 at 9:41 PM
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It’s so funny to see One Battle After Another and see yourself in the unambiguously Nazi characters and get offended
October 1, 2025 at 11:05 PM
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The one pro-ICE guy they found to interview downtown today being a suburbs-based casino marketer and erotica convention entrepreneur named Larry Goone might be the thing that tips me over into We're Living In A Bad Fic territory
September 29, 2025 at 3:42 AM
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hegseth: [face swollen, eyes red] who among you will stand with me in this dojo
August 8, 2025 at 4:27 AM