Dolan Beeman
@dolanbeeman.bsky.social
The saddest member of the DK crew
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
[abruptly stops beatboxing] I do.
June 7, 2025 at 3:24 PM
[abruptly stops beatboxing] I do.
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
Judi Dench-backed rebels seized a nature site 250 miles north of the capital today.
Why are they reporting it like it's a paramilitary coup?
May 31, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Judi Dench-backed rebels seized a nature site 250 miles north of the capital today.
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
- say something very dumb
- say something very strange but evocative
- say something that’s…actually genius
these are your options, you don’t need other options
- say something very strange but evocative
- say something that’s…actually genius
these are your options, you don’t need other options
April 30, 2025 at 10:01 AM
- say something very dumb
- say something very strange but evocative
- say something that’s…actually genius
these are your options, you don’t need other options
- say something very strange but evocative
- say something that’s…actually genius
these are your options, you don’t need other options
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every great woman is that same man back to back. Around them is a pack of wolves. The woman grips a knife, the first wolf attacks
February 20, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every great woman is that same man back to back. Around them is a pack of wolves. The woman grips a knife, the first wolf attacks
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
out of nowhere my kid laughed and said "I'm having a great time with you people" which might be the funniest thing you can say in a room containing only your parents
March 3, 2025 at 5:18 AM
out of nowhere my kid laughed and said "I'm having a great time with you people" which might be the funniest thing you can say in a room containing only your parents
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
[willem dafoe unprompted] now, this cookie monster. [toothy smile] what a creature, what a lust. it consumes him. [crosses legs] he’s really a tragic figure.
January 13, 2025 at 1:15 AM
[willem dafoe unprompted] now, this cookie monster. [toothy smile] what a creature, what a lust. it consumes him. [crosses legs] he’s really a tragic figure.
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
me: good morning Killbot
killbot: good morning sir, shall i kill you this morning sir or prepare a smoothie
me: smoothie please
killbot: excellent choice sir i shall try again tomorrow
killbot: good morning sir, shall i kill you this morning sir or prepare a smoothie
me: smoothie please
killbot: excellent choice sir i shall try again tomorrow
February 21, 2025 at 12:00 PM
me: good morning Killbot
killbot: good morning sir, shall i kill you this morning sir or prepare a smoothie
me: smoothie please
killbot: excellent choice sir i shall try again tomorrow
killbot: good morning sir, shall i kill you this morning sir or prepare a smoothie
me: smoothie please
killbot: excellent choice sir i shall try again tomorrow
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
Defendant: It's a banana in my pocket
Judge: May I remind the defendant that he's under oath?
Defendant (averting eyes): I'm glad to see you
Judge: May I remind the defendant that he's under oath?
Defendant (averting eyes): I'm glad to see you
January 26, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Defendant: It's a banana in my pocket
Judge: May I remind the defendant that he's under oath?
Defendant (averting eyes): I'm glad to see you
Judge: May I remind the defendant that he's under oath?
Defendant (averting eyes): I'm glad to see you
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
honestly, it's important to acknowledge that some of the lyrics in popular music are inappropriate for children. i just heard a singer say he wanted to be "shocked" like an "electric eel." thats dangerous
January 8, 2025 at 4:58 PM
honestly, it's important to acknowledge that some of the lyrics in popular music are inappropriate for children. i just heard a singer say he wanted to be "shocked" like an "electric eel." thats dangerous
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
When playing chess, one of the most devastating moves your opponent can play is the dreaded check mate. This pretty much fucks you
January 2, 2025 at 9:10 PM
When playing chess, one of the most devastating moves your opponent can play is the dreaded check mate. This pretty much fucks you
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
If I was a feudal lord I’d be one of the good ones, like I would let my serfs take a day off if their humors were unbalanced or they had become feverish due to some devilry
December 10, 2024 at 7:19 PM
If I was a feudal lord I’d be one of the good ones, like I would let my serfs take a day off if their humors were unbalanced or they had become feverish due to some devilry
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
my loathsome servants seem unhappy with their allotment of crumbs and keep sprouting visible thought bubbles of me trussed up like a glistening ham
December 12, 2024 at 2:43 PM
my loathsome servants seem unhappy with their allotment of crumbs and keep sprouting visible thought bubbles of me trussed up like a glistening ham
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
Beef jerky
Beef just having bad day
Beef sorry for taking it out on you
Beef just having bad day
Beef sorry for taking it out on you
December 5, 2024 at 4:27 PM
Beef jerky
Beef just having bad day
Beef sorry for taking it out on you
Beef just having bad day
Beef sorry for taking it out on you
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
HER: because you're so juvenile this relationship is over
ME: [through walkie talkie] this relationship is what, over
ME: [through walkie talkie] this relationship is what, over
December 5, 2024 at 5:26 PM
HER: because you're so juvenile this relationship is over
ME: [through walkie talkie] this relationship is what, over
ME: [through walkie talkie] this relationship is what, over
Reposted by Dolan Beeman
oh wow you went through a whole desert and your horse doesn't even have a name.. hey quick question, where do you think horse names come from
February 10, 2024 at 4:54 AM
oh wow you went through a whole desert and your horse doesn't even have a name.. hey quick question, where do you think horse names come from