Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
@darkbeerprincess.bsky.social
I'm just a girl, standing in front of you, and asking what I came into this room for.
Pinned
I'm not getting a divorce, my husband is just taking me upstate to live on a farm where I will have plenty of room to run around.
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
Makes more sense now that the asteroid responsible for eliminating 75% of life on Earth landed in the Gulf of America.
February 13, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Makes more sense now that the asteroid responsible for eliminating 75% of life on Earth landed in the Gulf of America.
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
Him: It’s a free country.
Me: Where you living, bub?
Me: Where you living, bub?
February 13, 2025 at 10:26 AM
Him: It’s a free country.
Me: Where you living, bub?
Me: Where you living, bub?
I'm disabled and my Coach and Kate Spade bags were gifts during my 28-year marriage. He divorced me, so I am now destitute, but at least I'm struggling in (out of season) style!
February 13, 2025 at 2:45 PM
I'm disabled and my Coach and Kate Spade bags were gifts during my 28-year marriage. He divorced me, so I am now destitute, but at least I'm struggling in (out of season) style!
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
mustaches are just curtain bangs for the mouth.
February 13, 2025 at 2:07 PM
mustaches are just curtain bangs for the mouth.
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
If you’ve already started calling it the Gulf of America instead of the Gulf of Mexico, you should have no trouble with someone’s preferred name and pronouns.
February 13, 2025 at 11:27 AM
If you’ve already started calling it the Gulf of America instead of the Gulf of Mexico, you should have no trouble with someone’s preferred name and pronouns.
I can always tell when an ad is from the weird "He Gets Us" business before it even shows their name, and I can't explain why it unsettled me every time I see one. Something about it bothers me.
February 10, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I can always tell when an ad is from the weird "He Gets Us" business before it even shows their name, and I can't explain why it unsettled me every time I see one. Something about it bothers me.
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
Now the whole country gets the experience of what it's like when private equity buys the place you work
February 4, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Now the whole country gets the experience of what it's like when private equity buys the place you work
Mobile AL. 7.5" of snowfall in 1 day. Broke the record of 6" in 1895 and broke the single day record of 5" in 1881. Everything is closed, and the highway right behind my house is silent. We aren't built to handle snow here.
January 22, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Mobile AL. 7.5" of snowfall in 1 day. Broke the record of 6" in 1895 and broke the single day record of 5" in 1881. Everything is closed, and the highway right behind my house is silent. We aren't built to handle snow here.
On this inauspicious day, here's a few pics of the bay near me as a mental moment of zen. Much love to everyone.
January 20, 2025 at 9:50 PM
On this inauspicious day, here's a few pics of the bay near me as a mental moment of zen. Much love to everyone.
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
“I hate to be that guy but –“ no you don’t. You do not hate to be that guy. You love being that guy. If you hated being that guy you wouldn’t be that guy but you are being that guy because deep down you absolutely love being that guy and you know it
January 10, 2025 at 4:14 PM
“I hate to be that guy but –“ no you don’t. You do not hate to be that guy. You love being that guy. If you hated being that guy you wouldn’t be that guy but you are being that guy because deep down you absolutely love being that guy and you know it
According to this Facebook post, because I scrolled past, it means I love the devil. That's crazy talk! We've only been on 2 dates so far, and we're taking things slow.
January 10, 2025 at 5:37 PM
According to this Facebook post, because I scrolled past, it means I love the devil. That's crazy talk! We've only been on 2 dates so far, and we're taking things slow.
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
in some parts of the country he was known as sprinkles carter
January 9, 2025 at 5:19 PM
in some parts of the country he was known as sprinkles carter
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
Me: Did you pass my compliments to the chef?
Waiter: I did
Me: What did he say?
Waiter: He said he thinks you look cute too
Waiter: I did
Me: What did he say?
Waiter: He said he thinks you look cute too
January 10, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Me: Did you pass my compliments to the chef?
Waiter: I did
Me: What did he say?
Waiter: He said he thinks you look cute too
Waiter: I did
Me: What did he say?
Waiter: He said he thinks you look cute too
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
January 10, 2025 at 1:56 PM
“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
First off, my dog never barks. I know, little yappy dog, but I'm not lying when I say he doesn't bark. But there's something about Jump by Kriss Kross that he absolutely hates. I've tried tons of other songs like it, but it's Jump in particular that he detests.
youtube.com/shorts/d8EGP...
youtube.com/shorts/d8EGP...
March 2, 2024
YouTube video by Reesie
youtube.com
January 10, 2025 at 12:03 AM
First off, my dog never barks. I know, little yappy dog, but I'm not lying when I say he doesn't bark. But there's something about Jump by Kriss Kross that he absolutely hates. I've tried tons of other songs like it, but it's Jump in particular that he detests.
youtube.com/shorts/d8EGP...
youtube.com/shorts/d8EGP...
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
I’m so sorry.
January 9, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I’m so sorry.
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
me: hey how's it goin
them: not much you
me: that's nice
them: i will
me: you too
them: not much you
me: that's nice
them: i will
me: you too
January 9, 2025 at 7:35 PM
me: hey how's it goin
them: not much you
me: that's nice
them: i will
me: you too
them: not much you
me: that's nice
them: i will
me: you too
He's just the cutest thing.
January 9, 2025 at 8:35 PM
He's just the cutest thing.
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
I may not send you flowers on your birthday but I am a good friend in that I will absolutely dick punch your ex boss if he makes you cry and then report him to the IRS. Heck, I will catfish him on Facebook. I will make him fall in love with me and then sleep with his dad and steal his inheritance
January 8, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I may not send you flowers on your birthday but I am a good friend in that I will absolutely dick punch your ex boss if he makes you cry and then report him to the IRS. Heck, I will catfish him on Facebook. I will make him fall in love with me and then sleep with his dad and steal his inheritance
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
I wrote a will but my family has asked me to use a nom de plume.
January 7, 2025 at 1:10 AM
I wrote a will but my family has asked me to use a nom de plume.
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
who called it wind chill instead of holy fucking shit what the fuck
January 7, 2025 at 2:40 PM
who called it wind chill instead of holy fucking shit what the fuck
Reposted by Brandy (not a fine girl, not a good wife)
It was the Pretty Bad of times, it was the Improbably Keeps Getting Worse of times
January 9, 2025 at 6:12 AM
It was the Pretty Bad of times, it was the Improbably Keeps Getting Worse of times
Liking AND reposting? Baby, who's got that kinda time?
January 9, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Liking AND reposting? Baby, who's got that kinda time?
I just joined yesterday and have already received scam messages 4 times, with 3 of them being furry accounts. What's with the scammy furry accounts? Anyway, I like to troll scammers.
January 9, 2025 at 4:54 PM
I just joined yesterday and have already received scam messages 4 times, with 3 of them being furry accounts. What's with the scammy furry accounts? Anyway, I like to troll scammers.