soulja boy saying YOOOOOOOOUUUU gives me more energy than any stimulant the soviets could invent

That a dude with a couple cameras and a plate of appetizers can make something worth $82.5 million and a media company looks at that and goes "couldn't we make even more money if we had AI do it?" tells you exactly how stupid these people are

I'm a moderate on the issue of cars, I don't think they should be banned but I do think they should all be this. Now I know what you're thinking: what if I need to go fast or need more space? That's just too bad

All the other scientists are yelling at me because I’m wearing the Doomsday Clock like Flavor Flav

Ordered poached eggs and they took them off some other guy’s plate.

*forgets to bring phone into the bathroom* i’m off the grid

Me: I will just relax for a few minutes by playing a mindless game on my phone

Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble

Honestly cannot stop laughing at this suggested post from Instagram

How much longer do I have to fake it before I make it please I’ve been at this for decades

The UK parliament has joined Bluesky, with proper verified domains and everything:

• @houseofcommons.parliament.uk
• @houseoflords.parliament.uk
• @ukparliament.parliament.uk
• @commonsspeaker.parliament.uk

NEW: Why do we always think crime is rising, even when it isn’t?

This week I looked at one of the big data mysteries. Britain is 2/3 less violent than the 1990s; thefts were higher pre-lockdown

Why, then, doesn’t it feel like it?

1/8

@thetimes.com

🔗 www.thetimes.com/article/b63d...

I love the Charlie Brown Christmas special. There's an eerie loneliness that hangs over the whole thing. The music, Charlie Brown's depression, the dying little tree, the flatness of the children's voices, the inevitability of death. A Christmas masterpiece.

If the Monster Mash is a graveyard smash, that would mean there is an entire Graveyard Chart full of songs almost as good as the Monster Mash

Bluesky feels like I took a Time Machine back to 2009 when I was still like “Hey this social media thing is going to make the world a better place.”